Mourning the loss of my uterus (children/babies mentioned)

I was thinking of writing a letter to my uterus, like Shellby, and then burning it as a sort of memorial. I have 3 children and didn't want any more but panicked when I realized how final this all is. I have to fight the feeling of thinking I am not the same "woman" I used to be. But then I had a good friend remind me that I could be there for other children when the time is right...adopt, sponsor a child, anything to keep that mothering instinct going if that's what I'm really looking for. It's a real loss and we all have to grieve it, whether we wanted children or not. Take care all of you. I'm right there with 'ya.

I had my hysterectomy on May 1st, 2006. It was an emergency procedure, I didn't even know it was going to happen, I just woke up and it was over. I guess it was for the best, 19 days later I underwent surgery for breast cancer. But, I still feel the loss of never having a baby again, never feeling that life again. I am 39, this just wasn't what I planned on at this time in my life. I have 2 sons, ages 18 and 12, so I have no room to complain. But the pain of a loss is still there.

Cyber.cat--I love the idea of planting a tree for each of your children. I was blessed through artificial insimunation 2 times with my daughters and God chose to take 3 others. I remember them on their due dates and I too felt the loss of my uterus after the fact but had not planned on evening try for any more children. Emotionally I couldn't do that anymore, aside from the fact that I'm 44 yrs. young.
Funny how when the DR tells you that this has to be done to stop the pain and heavy bleeding you are all for it, and afterwards you sit back and think.
I cried every time I saw a baby commercial for the first 2 weeks post op, now every other commercial.
I just know that God has my life figured out and far be it for me to question him.
Hugs and love to all.

I find peace of mind by reading that so many are experiencing the same feeling as I am. I bought myself a "bereavement angel" as a tombstone for my loss. I feel so blessed that I did not have cancer and do have two grown children. I even feel like I was born again when I came out of that very deep, tranquil sleep. I pray alot and try to take good care of myself so I can get "back to normal" whatever that might mean. It is so hard when people make comments like "you did not need you uterus anyway". There is definitely a real sense of "loss". I am not at work yet. I am taking extra care. Take care of yourselves sisters and may you find peace and happiness in your new you.

i had a couple of people tell me that.."oh you don't need it anyway" whatever easy for these people who by the way still have theirs. today i thought about it and went straight to my journal and wrote about my feelings my therapist and i will process these writings next week...i had to say goodbye after all we were one for sooo long): i think people try to help but only make things worse..the women at work tryed to be supportive with these little cheer up comments but alas.. i came here to my support group this site has been such a blessing..find what works for you after all this is a life changing event.. my husband has been so sweet...he always asks if i want to talk about it....he bought me a little angel to sit on my night stand. so when i need to grieve i pick up my journal and write and get grateful for the blessingsi do have

i too get the same feeling,i had suffered for so long and been to so many docs. and after the last pregnancy i knew i could never do it again,the pain and suffering the whole way through,and especially after the delivery..don't get me wrong i am very thankful for my baby,as i have been told for several years that i would need a hyster in the long run to help relieve my pain.after the delivery i new it would have to come sooner or later,so the doc figured the best thing for me to do was the depo shot,well i did,what a mistake.because at 3 weeks after i took kidneystones,and passed out on the bathroom floor and everything.so i went to the uroligest and he told me i had something pressing on my bladder from my uterus,so i went to the ob and thats when all the fun began,i had a calsified mass in the uterus,and the checked me for cancer,and then ended up doing the hyster 3 weeks later,it turns out it was left over placental tissue that turned hard..
well since then i am still in horriable pain,i have ic and rectocile and cystocyle prolapse,along with having a huge skin cancer removed from my face a couple of weeks ago..i'm still not sure if the hyster helped or not,because of the ic is so bad,and my daughter was playing with the baby the other day and said i alway's wanted a little sister,and i had to walk in the other room and cry so she did not see me,but it hurt so bad to know i can never do that for her,i'm pretty sure it hurt me more than her she proabily never gave it another thought.she is 9 my other son is 5 and the baby just turned 7 months..