hyster. yes or no

Hi,
I am brand new to this link because, like most women, it is not something you think about until you are forced to. I have severe endometreosis as well as two prior LEAP and cervical cone procedures due to dysplasia phase three and numerous cervical infections. Because the endo has become so severe, (I bleed at least half of every month and the first two days I dare not leave my house) my ob has recommended taking action. My choices are A: a hysterectomy or B: a procedure just to get rid of the endo with no guarantees. He has not recommended one over the other, instead he reminds me that due to my past cervical problems if I choose option B I still may need a hyster. in the future. He would leave my ovaries in regardless. I know no one can make this decision for me, however, I can't help saying to myself "Hey what idiot chooses an optional hyster?" Unlike many women on this website I am not in a life or death situation. Therefore, do I make such a radical decision at this time. To further complicate the matter my husband has reminded me that our $2000 deductible has been met this year (we had one child hospitilized with whooping cough at 10 weeks old and another who needed her tonsils out) and this would be a good time to have any surgery. I know monetary reasons are not the best for having surgery but we are still struggling to pay for the deductible and another one a year later could drown us completely. I feel that I have droned on hear so here are my questions....
Does a hyster change your personality?
Will my sex drive decrease?
Will I still have the same type of orgasms?
What would be the approximate recovery time?
(I am 32 years old with three children)
Will it speed up menopause?
Will a hyster. stop the terrible witch I become three days before my period?
How long before I can pick up my year old child?
Anything anyone would like to say would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

I am in a similar situation to you... I am 31 with two kids... My son is 6 years old and my daughter is 10 months. My doctor has given me options and told me to choose.... She also told me a hysterectomy would make my life so much easier. No more problems... No more bleeding, no more cramps, no more agonizing back pain... For me, everything (ovaries and all) are being taken. I have PCOS and my ovaries are loaded with cysts right now. My whole female system is shutting down pretty much according to my doctor. But I am like you - who chooses to have this done?! Most of the people I know that have had it done say it has changed their life for the better so I am going to do it and hope it gets better. My surgery date is December 3rd.... I really think it will make me feel better... This is a great website and these ladies here give great advice and provide wonderful support... Good luck with your decision!!!

Hi Melpoche!

Obviously you won't find anyone here who will tell you what to decide. But! You have certainly come to the right place to get an idea of what life is like for all different women before, during(hospital stay), and after hysterectomy.

To answer your questions, one would surely have to have a crystal ball. Honestly, the best thing to do is read the posts, and you may even want to start with the Pull-Down Menu that will bring you to Princesses Tell Their Hyst-Stories

Being only 7 weeks post op, I can only answer some of your questions as to MY experience.
My doctor restricted me from lifting anything over 5 pounds during the first 6 weeks home from the hospital.
He also ordered pelvic rest for 8 weeks. (nothing in the vagina)
All I really wanted to do the first week or two was REST, so I did.
The next 2 weeks, I still rested, but gradually began to do a little bit more as was comfortable.
Personally, I feel a whole lot better, so I am a happier person therefore not as crabby I guess.
My doc told me that it takes 6 months to a year to heal completely from this major surgery.

I am sure that there will be other princesses replying who have been post op for alot longer than I have, so perhaps they can tell you how they would answer your other questions based on their experience.

Welcome to the site - I know you will make the decision that is right for you.

All our stories are different, but most are similiar with the fact that it is usually cyst, fibroids, etc. Our periods are painful and short of taking to the bed for 3 to 7 days we endure. I did for much too long. I finally decided I had had it. I ask for the hyst my had been mentioning for years. I had surgery June 18th and I am a new wonderful person. I never have PMS just regular bad moods that everyone has here and there. I live a life that doesn't revolve around a certain time of the month. As one of the other sisters said you are the only one who can make that decision. I made mine with God's help and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself, except God, I had my son by a wonderful accident. I was told I would probably never conceive, One June night that little egg and sperm met and as a result I have a wonderful young man for a son. I feel God gave him to me and I have been so thankful before and after. Talk with your he can help. God Bless

[quote]Originally posted by melpoche
I know no one can make this decision for me, however, I can't help saying to myself "Hey what idiot chooses an optional hyster?" Unlike many women on this website I am not in a life or death situation. Therefore, do I make such a radical decision at this time.

Dear melpoche,

85% of hysterectomies are done for quality of life reasons, not to SAVE a life. Only YOU must live with your pre-op symptoms and your post-op results (good or bad).

Keep researching... get smart about your symtpoms & your options, and make the best choice for YOU.

Sending huge cyberhugs

Hi, melpoche! Welcome to HysterSisters, best site on the Web! You'll get lots of support and information here, and hopefully you can make a better decision as to a hyst for yourself. If you keep your ovaries, they will still make hormones as they do now, and you will still have some symptoms of your cycle, but no periods. Therefore, it probably won't change PMS. You can ask your dr. for recommendations about things to try to help you with that. A hyst won't change your personality, though some women who have both ovaries removed do get depressed and weepy until their HRT is just right for them (like what happens going through menopause). Most sisters here say their sex is the same or even better after hyst. since they don't have the pain and/or heavy bleeding they suffered before. This is a major surgery, as the sisters here have posted, so it's good you are learning as much as you can ahead of time. (It's not like a simple C-section!) For both abdominal (TAH) or vaginal (TVH) hyst, initial recovery is 6-8 weeks. Then healing will continue for 6-12 months. I think you'll be happy you had your hyst when you're over the first few weeks of recovery, but you'll have to decide when the right time for you is. Good luck and best wishes!
Ruthie

Hi Mel,
It was my choice to have a hysterectomy - I was so glad the doctor gave me the option. My date is not until 11/30 so I can't help you with a lot of your questions I just wanted you to know that some of us decide this on our own - I'm tired of painful cramps and irregular bleeding. I have twin 10 year-old daughters that are very active and I want to be able to participate and be an active part of their lives all the time - and not miss the parts around my periods. Also, I can relate to the financial decision in this - meeting a deductible is no fun.
Hope this helps you!
Susan

You asked "Hey what idiot chooses an optional hyster?"

I not only chose one, I pretty much demanded it.


Sounds like you're in need of the patented cure-all - the Pro/Con list. Sit down with a pen and lots of paper, and write down all the reasons to have a hyst, and all the reasons not to. How is all this bleeding and pain affecting your life? your work? your career/recreation options? your love life? your social life? Are you able to be active, stay fit, get things done, plan ahead? Do you feel strong and healthy?

Consider, along with the potential "side effects and complications" of having a hyst, all the potential "side effects and complications" of *not* having a hyst. Anemia? Hemmorrhage? Catching every little bug to come along? Worsening endo? Failed business or career? Stressed relationships?

And since you're sitting there with a pen and paper, do my "do the math" exercise, too. Figure out the approximate number of days you will be in pain/discomfort, and basically out of circulation from a hyst (I assumed 56 days, or 8 weeks), then figure the same thing if you *don't* have a hyst. Guess how many years until menopause, and figure out how many days per year you will not be at your best - multiply it out to get the number of days during the rest of your life that really would be more miserable than not - I think I came up with something like 1100. When I looked at 56 days vs 1100, the decision was pretty clear.

Get to work. I hope it helps you come to a decision you can feel sure about.

Oh yeah - about your questions:

"Does a hyster change your personality?"
I kept my ovaries, so no hormonal stuff here, but the only personality issues I've experienced are that I feel a lot more relaxed, happy, and self assured now that I'm not getting floored by cramps, disabling bleeding, and general malaise every month - like you, for two weeks or so. I always felt "on guard", wondering if I would get blindsided by an unscheduled period on a vacation or business trip - never quite at ease. I didn't realise how much this affected me every day, until afterward, when I noticed this extra little bit of peace in my life.

"Will my sex drive decrease?"
I doubt it. Now that there are no more "bad days", and I don't have the pain I used to have, things are much happier here. I'd put my money on you having the same experience - but of course, anything is possible.

"Will I still have the same type of orgasms?"
See above. I did not keep my cervix (painful, annoying little thing, in my experience), and that's been an improvement.

"What would be the approximate recovery time?"
(I am 32 years old with three children)
It depends. I had a pretty simple hyst - fibroids, no endo, no prolapses... I got cleared to do "anything I felt up to doing", including riding my horse, at 4 weeks. I felt pretty good at that point, but still got tired easily. By 8 weeks I was for all practical purposes back to mostly my old self. At 6 months I could still "feel" that I'd been through something, but was doing all my usual stuff and feeling good.

"Will it speed up menopause?"
I haven't heard anything about that... dunno...

"Will a hyster. stop the terrible witch I become three days before my period?"
Maybe. If you keep your ovaries, you'll still have the same ol' hormonal stuff going on - mostly... The lining of the uterus does produce some hormones (prostoglandins, I think), so there could be a little difference. Also, you don't have the problem of looking forward to the next few days/weeks with dread, which might improve your outlook. If you are on the pill now, as I was, you can go off it, and that might make a difference in how you feel, too.

How long before I can pick up my year old child?
It depends... Check with your doctor, and don't rush it. I don't know kids... can a one-year-old climb up on the sofa with you? I was able to get down to sit on the floor within the first few days, so you might be able to do that to play with the little one.

Melpoche,
The princesses did a great job of responding to your concerns. I've been helped so many times by this website. Making that list of pros/cons, reading and reading, talking with your dr and family...I just remember great relief when I made the decision to go ahead with surgery (I'm a lady-in-waiting, so I have yet to experience the post-op side...)

I just want to caution you about something you mentioned regarding having endometriosis and keeping your ovaries. I'm having mine removed because all of my research and discussions with my dr. pointed to the correlation of endo and ovaries. Yep, I'll go into menopause at almost-40, but I don't want my problems with cysts and endo to continue. I will wait for a short time after surgery before starting HRT --- to give the endo a chance to be "starved." So, if you do decide that surgery will help your quality of life, please look carefully at your options with a hyst.

Write again during your "journey."

Mel,

I love Horsewoman's response ... might have to "do the math" myself! It's a good test for all those times when you find yourself asking, "have I suffered enough?"

Like Bonny Kate above, I'll have my ovaries removed and stay off estrogen for several months post-hyst to prevent recurrance of the endo. This is not something I'm particularly happy about, but I believe it will give me the best chance of getting and STAYING endo-free. Your age is a big consideration ... you may be many years from menopause so removal of your ovaries is a tough choice. I'm 46, so I'm closer to rather than farther away from menopause anyway. The main thing for me is that this choice makes sense to me based on all the reading I've done and my desire to only go through this big surgery one time ... let's be aggressive if we're going to do it ... that's my attitude.

Best of luck with your decision ... it's a big one. Everyone here will support you, whatever you decide.

Beth