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Never so terrified... Never so terrified...

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  #1  
Unread 08-11-2005, 07:29 PM
Never so terrified...

I'm 25 and found out on Tuesday that I am to have a total hysterectomy on Sept. 6th. I have never been so terrified. There is so much to do. I feel like I'm not present in my body; almost as though I am watching this happen to someone else. How do I get through this? How could this happen? How will I survive after this surgery? It will change me forever. Will I feel like an empty shell of a woman for the rest of my life? How does life go on after this?
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  #2  
Unread 08-11-2005, 08:26 PM
Never so terrified...

I know this is a hard thing to take especially when the "news" is just dropped in front of you. A hyst isn't just something "older women" have to worry about anymore. Women having hysts are getting younger and younger each year... I don't know if that's comforting or frightening. Regardless, life DOES go on. It HAS to.

I knew over 2 yrs ago I was going to end up having to have this done. That doesn't mean it was easy for me. For the longest time I felt that my uterus is what made me a woman and to have that taken from me would somehow take away my womanhood. Being young and coming into my own, I was sooooo scared. But I saw my life and what it had become and how my family was suffering just as much as I was. My decision was initially based on medical reasons ~ but now I truly believe a part of me did it for my family. And I'm perfectly OK with that. It was right for me.
You didn't say what you're having a hyst for. Are there any other options for you? I tried several treatments over the past few years and nothing worked. For me it was what I needed to do. Best of luck to you and I do hope that even though you've been told this is what you need to do you will do some looking around. Research whatever it is that's gotten you to this point and find out if there are any other treatment options. Even if there aren't, at least you know you tried everything you could.
  #3  
Unread 08-11-2005, 08:37 PM
Never so terrified...

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. Sadly I don't know any women who have had a hysterectomy and am scrambling to find out as much as I can about them. For me this will be the end of a long line of treatments for atypical endometriosis and fibroids. I think that part of the devastation comes from placing so much hope in each treatment and then being dissapointed. What you said about your family suffering really struck a chord with me...it can't be easy for my family to watch me in this situation. You sound so calm that it's unbelievable to me to see that you have just come out of surgery. I hope that you are well and have some fabulous dvd's and a few tabloid magazines to get you through each day. I see you also had endometriosis, would you be willing to share your experiences with it?
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  #4  
Unread 08-11-2005, 08:56 PM
Never so terrified...

HI "Py",

I too had a similar reaction when my Dr. told me I needed a hyst. I had had years and years of normal annual exams and then....I had two large fibroids and I heard the word "hysterectomy". I felt like turning around in my seat when my Dr. said the "H-word" since I felt she HAD to be talking to someone else!! No way!! I left my Dr's office crying. And I cried for 3 days. Having a 16-wheeler truck run over me would have felt better. The SHOCK was so overwhelming!!

After 3 days, I decided to get a 2nd opinion. That helped me process the info. more. I could suggest maybe a 2nd opinion in your case. Maybe even a 3rd opinion. It never hurts to gather more information.

Also, if the direction is a hyst, I can suggest researching the ~types~ of hyst. Maybe you are a candidate for a less invasive hyst such a laparoscopic surgery or a vaginal hyst?? Here is a Hyster Sisters link that goes over the different types of hysts:

http://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/hsa...p?s=&id=152317

Don't worry. We are here to hold your hand via the internet. I can really sympathize with your feelings. It is so terrifying to comprehend...I know..and we are here to help, if we can.

Mary
  #5  
Unread 08-11-2005, 09:26 PM
Never so terrified...


Py

I am very sorry you had to find out you needed surgery. I know it can be a very trying experience. I actually had to initiate my surgery. I had a period for almost 2yrs non stop. I had tried some other treatment, but I no longer could stand aunt Flo. It was affecting my personal life with my husband, and I never wanted to go swimming or anything with my kids because of it. This is a very time consuming decision, so it has to be hard when the Doc says you have to have one. I have to say I have never been more happy since I had mine. It was so nice to get rid of all the pads I had laying around. The hardest part of the whole surgery was the waiting part. You will hear that alot from the princess's already on the other side. I had to wait two times. My first surgery was Cx then I had to wait another month. I thought I would go crazy. I wasn't scared of the surgery, I was scared of the healing part. I have 3 kids and I didn't know how I was going to handle it. My husband works nights so it was nerve racking. Well God took care of everything for us. I had a very uncomplicated surgery, and my recovery has been remarkable. I still get a little tired if I do to much, but the pain was not as unbarable as I thought it would be. I expected the worse so when it wasn't I was so relieved. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck.

Cat
28yrs old, TAH, left ovaries, 07/12/05. Uncontrolled bleeding.
  #6  
Unread 08-11-2005, 11:13 PM
Never so terrified...

Hi,

Most of us on this forum are not as young as you are and so I'd say our experience is very different...

I think I'd have had a lot harder time coping with the idea of having a hyst when I was 25 than I did at 45 and I really didn't want to have one even then... even though it was clearly the thing for me to do. You're not going to find all that many women in your age group, among your freinds and acquaintances, who've had a hyst. So, this site might be even more important for you.

I'm replying in part to bump up your post so more of our group might have a chance to see it. I know we have a few young women who've had to have hysts in their twenties. I'm hoping some of them will see your post and chime it. I think their experience will be more germain to yours.

Sorry you had to find Hystersisters, but I'm glad you did. You'll get a lot of help and support.

All the best.
  #7  
Unread 08-12-2005, 04:19 AM
Never so terrified...

Hi Py,
I was told at 27 that i had to have a hyst - the doc was insensitive and rude - "Bit young for this aren't you?" "3 kids? Oh thats plenty, no need for more - we'll whip it all out" I was a mess - just beside myself.
I got a second opinion from a professor who specialised in fribroids - he managed to remove just the fibroid - which delayed my hysterectomy until the blinking thing grew back and caused problems this year. He told me that the first surgeon i saw said it was an impossible operation because he wasn't skilled enough to perform it - my professor referred this guy's bad conduct to the GMC.
I know you have endo too - but if your condition isnt life threatening, then don't rush into it until your head is sorted.
As for feeling like an empty woman? Nah - i feel like a new woman! I'm five months out now and I'm packing my bags to go mountain biking in switzerland down the Alps tomorrow - I am fitter and happier than i have been in ages.
Is there a specific reason why your cervix is going? I know it has to go if you are to have the surgery vaginally - but I opted for a lower than bikini line scar, and to keep my cervix. I just liked the idea of keeping all the bits i could salvage. I assume your ovaries are staying? - Mine have no idea that some one snuck in and removed their uterus whilst they weren't looking, so i still get a monthly cycle - just without pain and bleeding.

Anyway, take care, get lots of info - and don't be rushed if you're not ready.

Hope some of my ramblings help
Chicky
  #8  
Unread 08-12-2005, 07:40 AM
Never so terrified...

Pythagorus,

Hugs to you honey. I also found out rather suddenly that I would be having a hysterectomy. Like you, I only had a couple of weeks to prepare.
I am 38 and just had my hyst 48 hours ago. I, too, felt like I was falling off the end of the earth, and I have this horrible habbit of loosing controll and flying into bawling, hysterical fits whenever I have to have anything medicaly done..even just a flu shot :-(

Here are some things I did to help get me through to the other side of surgery...One thing I did that REALY helped with the anxiety was to go to the hospital on a slow day and asked for info and a tour of the pre-op and post op wards. I explained to the staff, on no uncertain terms, how terrified I was (I warned them about my hysterical fits too). The nurses gave me a tour, explained a lot of the things that would happen to and arround me, both pre and post op, and they took the time to answer all of my questions...even the ones I felt, at the time, were silly or stupid.

When my day at the castle came, I was still terrified, but was familiar with the environment and not so scared of what was beyond each door.
When I woke up post op, I actually recognised where I was because of the tour I had a few days earlier.
It can be scarey to wake up not knowing where you are or not recognising anything. It was a great comfort for me when I woke up and saw the nursing station and recognised the curtains and medical equipment arround me. And don't worry, the nurses are watching, even though you might not be aware of them right away...so nothing can happen to you if you are disoriented after surgery.

Another suggestion, I asked to have enough time to have a LONG talk with the anestesiologist a couple of days before my surgery. We spoke the day prior to my surgery and he spent the time to explain everything I wanted to know, told me what his relationship with my surgeon was (had he worked with him before, ect), what his role before-during-and after the surgery was, and he gave me a ph # to reach him at if I had any more questions before or after my surgery.
Then, I also made an appointment with both my regular ob/gyn and another with the surgeon, for JUST a talk and chance for me to express my fears and ask questions. When you make the appointment for "Just a talk", make sure the nurse or person making the appointment understands that you want enough time to ask A LOT of questions. Mine REALY suprised me and gave me 45 minutes!!!! Keep a pad of paper and pencil with you to write questions as you think of them before your appointment so that you dont have to try to remember every question at the appointment.

Getting the "Castle Tour", talking to the nurses, having "Just Need To Talk" appointments with the surgeon and my ob/gyn (who assisted in the surgery) and talking with the anestesiologist for more than 5 seconds, REALY helped with the massive anxeiety I had. And remember to thank them all for their time and patience that they spend on you (they like the praise ;-)

Oh, and just to share...because of the tour, I felt comfortable and safe enough that I only cried a little in the pre-op ward ...no hysterical fits!!! I actually feel proud, and like I accomplished something very imortant by MAKING my needs be met and avoiding the hysterics that I am so prone to :-)

Good luck hun, and I will be sending my thoughts and prayers your way :-)
{{{HUGS}}}
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