Doubt, 9 year old daughter worries

I'm scheduled for Friday and terrified. My 9 year old daughter came in last night expressing her worries that I may die. She's worried because I've had 2 other surgeries (c section and appendectomy and partial colectomy) and she thinks no one has that many surgeries.

I have a fibroid with clot in period and usually one day of terrible pain, to the point that I almost went to the ER last time. But maybe I just haven't found the right pain meds. She's also starting school next week so has worries there too.

I'm thinking of canceling but afraid if I do I will just have to go through all this again.

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Originally Posted by Lilac Queen I'm scheduled for Friday and terrified. My 9 year old daughter came in last night expressing her worries that I may die. She's worried because I've had 2 other surgeries (c section and appendectomy and partial colectomy) and she thinks no one has that many surgeries. I have a fibroid with clot in period and usually one day of terrible pain, to the point that I almost went to the ER last time. But maybe I just haven't found the right pain meds. She's also starting school next week so has worries there too. I'm thinking of canceling but afraid if I do I will just have to go through all this again.

I can only give u my experience in hopes to help. I had surgery on July 25 with the davinchi. I was terrified. It was way easier than I thought it would be. The first week was the hardest but even then it's not something I couldn't handle. Gas pain was the worst part. I was walking in the hospital & every day after. My daughter was afraid to let a robot operate on me lol. I had to have mine done due to cervical cancer concerns I had high grade cells & fibroid & andenmyosis it turned out. So I was lucky & did not have the choice. I think if I had to choose I would have chickened out! But it was ok. I'm ok!! You will be too!! Your daughter loves u & it's always scary to have mom hurting. If u decide to go through with it just assure her u are safe in the hands of smart good doctors & they know what they are doing so u will be ok. Good luck to u! Hugs

My daughter is 9 and she was terrified too. Please don't cancel for your sake, your quality of life matters.

I was worried too, even though I had surgery a lot before(5 times to be exact) the day before I was shaking and sick to my stomach with nerves.

Explain to your daughter that you will be fine, that a lot of people have surgery often and it's totally safe. You'll be sore for a bit and need her help when you come home. Give her some tasks to help you get ready for the hospital, then the night before have a special treat. We went out to dinner then got ice cream. My daughter was already in school when I had my surgery so I called when I was in my room and asked her counselor to let her know I was ok.

Everything will be ok, lots of love and hugs. You're gonna do great

These are really helpful replies. I am so thankful for the experience, wisdom, and comfort I get from this site.

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Originally Posted by Lilac Queen I'm scheduled for Friday and terrified. My 9 year old daughter came in last night expressing her worries that I may die. She's worried because I've had 2 other surgeries (c section and appendectomy and partial colectomy) and she thinks no one has that many surgeries. I have a fibroid with clot in period and usually one day of terrible pain, to the point that I almost went to the ER last time. But maybe I just haven't found the right pain meds. She's also starting school next week so has worries there too. I'm thinking of canceling but afraid if I do I will just have to go through all this again.

I feel for you. My 15 year old daughter worries the same way. She tears up and cries anytime she thinks about it. She is my youngest and is very sensitive to others emotions.
I have had 14 surgeries over the years ( I'm 36 ) most due to a ATV accident. I try to reassure her and not let my nerves show, but it is hard at times because I myself am terrified.
It is hard when you see your child so distraught.
The only thing that stops me from canceling is the knowledge that my insides are only going to get worse. And if I wait I will face more possible complications than I already do. So hang in there ,you are not alone. Hugs to you and your family.

I was 10 when my mom had hers and my daughter is 10 now when I had mine. I was pretty emotional when my mom had hers. I didn't understand how much pain she was in each month and I was worried she would die. My dad had died 7 years previous in an accident. I was also really upset that I wasn't going to have any more brothers or sisters. (She had remarried.) I was the oldest of 4, not sure why I wanted even more babies but I have always loved babies! I made her a cornhusk doll to take with her to the hospital and we visited her the next day in the hospital. I think it would have been good for me to have someone to talk to about my feelings but it is what it is.
For my surgery, 2 weeks ago, I didn't tell my kids about it until 1 week before. I didn't want them worrying about it all summer. I didn't tell them (ages 10, 9, 6, and 3) what surgery I would be having just told them one of my organs wasn't working right and needed to be fixed.

My hysterectomy will make surgery number 8 for me. I am more nervous for this one than any of the others I have had. This surgery is the only one that I have had planned so far in advance. (6 weeks)

Not that I have been in a hospital for a long time. But when I was younger I was a candy striper. I do still see the volunteers maybe they could take her on a tour of the hospital to calm her nerves. Hope it goes well.

My 9 year old was the same way, very worried about me dying. I really had no other choice besides surgery so I did my best to tell her I was going to be just fine. I was in the hospital 4 days and ended up not having her come, which I'm glad, I felt like I was hooked up to 100 different lines and things beeping. I talked to her at some point, I think day 2. She was happy to have me home and I was happy to have the surgery behind me!

Good luck!!

My daughter is 12 and was worried when I had mine 3 weeks ago. Worrying is normal, heck I was terrified myself. I'm so glad I did it though. I found out through pathology that my uterus was dying. It would have caused me more heavy bleeding and pain (i've had 2 periods that lasted over a month over the last several years and normally my periods are very heavy as well and very painful) and it would have started making me very sick. I prayed before my surgery and all the way to the operating room and thanked God once I woke up. This helped me calm down