July 1st! Independence Day?

Hi Sisters,

I'm new here and decided to post because in a little under two weeks, I'll be post-op. It's been a relief to see many of the encouraging words that you all have to offer. It's been great to see how many other women can speak to my condition and my worries.

I keep joking with my husband that as soon as I see him post-op, I'm going to say in a really deep voice, "Hi honey!"--as if I'm a man! This actually goes to a core fear, I think: will I still be all woman?

It sounds really stupid when I read it, but honestly, that's what's worrying me. Hubby and I have a wonderful sex life, a beautiful marriage and a pretty awesome, though far from perfect family. I feel that I live the life I really have always wanted--my dream. I'm so fearful that all that will crumble with this surgery, either through a non-existent sex life, masculinization of my body or my death. Oy vey!

Anyway, I'm due for a DaVinci hysterectomy on July 1st due to a large fibroid tumor. I won't miss the heavy periods or the lump I feel when doing sit-ups or when one of my sons lays on me. I feel prepared, but can we get this done, already?

Don't worry, you'll still be a Woman. Resuming sex, etc. may take a while - when your doctor determines you have healed enough. The good news is that recovery is faster for those who have the DvH versus abdominal hysterectomies.


Think waiting is the hardest part for many...

Grammar Maven. I'm sure we both will wake up on July 1st feeling much better. I'm having a TVH then. I joked with hubby the same thing about being all woman. Here's to having the best outcome and we will be better on the second. Have to be it's my birthday!

Hi Grammar Maven

What you are feeling is completely normal - it is scary and unsettling having such an intimate part of you removed, something that has made its presence known to you, for better or worse, for decades. Having that gone would make you ponder your situation post-op. But, do know that the doctors and nurses will take very good care of you during surgery - they will watch over you and they will see you through this.

I am two plus years post-op, and I have struggled with this from time to time. There are days I feel less feminine, and I feel empty. These feelings are less intense than they were when I was first post-op. But, I don't feel, and have never felt, masculine.

Sex life post-op (once cleared by your doctor - about 6 weeks) varies widely - some say sex is better, some say worse, some say the same, and everywhere in between. It can take time to get back into your rhythm, but with lots of love and patience, you and DH will work this out.

Exquisite Grace, I must have been thinking of you when typing that! I kept wondering if anyone on here would be undergoing the same procedure on the same day. I will be sure to think of you and send you good vibes for a quick recovery!

bln--thank you for the reply. You're absolutely right. It's nice to hear it from someone else though.

Marestail--that's good information. I've been uplifted by a lot of women in my life who've said they would do it all again. I think I'll feel that way afterward, but I still have moments of doubt.

Great advice ladies!
GrammarMaven thanks! I'll be thinking of you too and saying a prayer for us both.

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Originally Posted by Grammar Maven ...Anyway, I'm due for a DaVinci hysterectomy on July 1st due to a large fibroid tumor...

July 1 also happens to be Canada Day, so I'm wishing you a *very* happy Canada Day! Life's definitely better on "the other side."

My LSH is scheduled for July 2nd and I have the same fears and worries! Like you, my marriage and sex life is great and I so worry that either I won't enjoy sex anymore or I'll be a crazy b*tch from hell due to fluctuating hormones. I'm already dealing with the hormone issue due to Lupron therapy, so 'm really hoping I feel BETTER after the surgery and not worse or the same! I have very large fibroids and very heavy bleeding and feel like this is the right thing to do, but...

I'll be thinking about you on the 1st! Good luck and stay in touch during recovery--we can compare notes!

I have had similar issues, lcarrollccc. My fibroids have grown to make my uterus the size of a woman's whose 16 weeks pregnant. Holy cow!! The bleeding led me to anemia and I'm on a prenatal vitamin. I also teach and can't get through more than an hour without going to the bathroom which stinks since we're on a block schedule (one block = 90 minutes). Road trips have been less than fun with at least hourly stops. That adds significantly to our 10 hour New York trips to my dear friend's home.

Like you, I believe it's the right thing, but it gives me pause. It seems like such a big deal, but many people just seem to blow it off as routine. It drives me a little nuts when they do that. I keep thinking, they're taking out a part of me and you're shrugging it off as if it's no biggie?? I think they're trying to be comforting and they don't mean it out of lack of compassion. So I focus on intent, but DH understands me, so that's the most important piece in all of this.

I'll be thinking of you on the 2nd! I hope both of our recoveries are smooth sailing. I'm psyching myself out by thinking of this as a little vacation in a fancy hotel with round the clock room service! LOL.

Oh my gosh, the constant peeing is killing me! I go 3-4 times per night, so sleep has been impossible! I was also on Lupron for the past 3 months, so my poor DH has had to deal with mood swings on top of the constant complaining about bleeding for the past 6 weeks straight! My largest fibroid is 8 cm and is causing back, hip and thigh pain, so I'm excited to be rid of that also!

You're also right in that many people view it as routine and no big deal. Since I've had a laparotomy before, I tell them in great detail what a big deal this type of surgery is! My previous laparatomy in 2001 was intended to be a complete hysterectomy because they thought I had ovarian cancer, but when they got in there, it was a large benign cyst in my tube, so they took that out and left everything else. If only I knew then what I know now, I would have had them take it all out and saved me another surgery!

I like your idea of viewing this as a mini vacation! I told my DH I want a bell so I can ring anytime I need something--just like the queen of the castle! Take care and good luck!