Unable to work and depression

Hi everyone,

After having to cancel my June 11th full hysterectomy due to a lung congestion, I'm waiting for a new date scheduled around October.

I'm 39 years old, married, no children (not by choice). Due to all my pelvic complications; 2 ectopic pregnancies; 5 surgeries for removal of numerous adhesions; removal of left ovary; bowel complications and the list goes on.....I have been unable to work for about 10 years. I was able for a while than I suffered a lung collapse which set me back to a worst condition.

My question is as follows: have any of you been unable to hold a steady job because of your pelvic problems? and how long? I feel so inadequate and my parents are starting to wonder if my constant pelvic pains are in my "head"? They have been supportive but I guess it is annoying to see their daughter unable to lead a succefull life. I try to explain to them what I have; give them pamplets, etc. but they do not understand the pain.

I have also been coping with deep depression due to all my health problems and I can't seem to pull out of this hole. Even at 39 years old I still feel like I need my parents to be proud of me but they have seen me sick for the past 10 years and I guess it's really getting them down.

I'm not one to complain or go on about my problems. I just keep quiet, but sometimes it's really hard not being able to be what people expect me to be. I feel like the "black sheep" of the family.

Thanks for all your support, I love you all and praying for all of you who are about to get the surgery, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Aw, Maria -

You need a big hug, so I'm sending you one!! You've had a rough time, no doubt about it. I am betting that your parents ARE proud of you, but I am sure they're worried about you. You can't control medical problems - you are not inadequate or inferior or unsuccessful just because you've been ill, and you don't need to meet others' expectations, real or imagined - you just need to do the best you can with what you have been dealt.


It can be very depressing to have ongoing medical conditions. Have you talked to your doctor about some antidepressants that might help you out?

Hang in there!

Cheers,

s Maria,
I do completely understand about depression & also not being able to work. I was very active in my community & worked as a Rehab. Therapist. In 1994 I was dx as Bipolar and haven't worked since due too my medical conditions as well. And like you I've given my family & loved ones information to read & also I've explained my conditions too them. My suggestion is realize that you do have support here from your Sisters, and I hope that your husband is supportive as well? Most importantly understand that the only thing you can do is pray that someday they will understand your conditions. I know we love our parents & other family members, however we can't make them understand how & what we feel if they refuse. Please take care of yourself, and feel free to email me privately if you wish. I do have alot of supportive information on depression if you're interested. Also if you ever want to chat join us in the chatroom and or I would be delighted to chat with you 1:1 as well.
Take care of yourself and please keep us posted on how you're feeling.

SweetOceanBlue77@aol.com

Welcome Maria,

Working was terrible...thank goodness I worked in an office of 7...all women. Still I brought my protective covering for the office chair. I had to go home to change after flooding with clots. I would fill up on motrin. I'd bend over in pain and try to walk it off. I'd visit the bathroom every hour. I was so tired and enemic that I found it difficult to concentrate. I spoke with the public 8 hours a day and it was hard being pleasant and understanding. I would go home and drop. It was terrible. I quit to help care for my father but wondered how much longer I would be able to work.

Your parents love you and are proud of you. Just love them in return and enjoy them. This fall you will have the opportunity to feel better. Please do not expect the surgery to solve all your problems...we women are pretty complex. Perhaps you are too hard on yourself.

Please post again and let us know how things are going.
I am glad you are here. Just hang in.

Maralyn