I know they mean well, but...

Ha....my sister called me the other day to tell me about some lady who she knows that went back to work 1 week post op. Well whoop de doo, good for her! @@

you know family and friends mean well, but sometimes you really wish they wouldn't say anything, rather than coming off as sounding uninformed or uncaring. Often times they try to compare a hysterectomy to something they know or have experienced, but we know it isn't the same. Or they tell you about someone they know or a friend of a friend that was back to work a week later..hmm sometimes they don't now or don't realize that there are different types of hysterectomies and people heal differently. And a hysterectomy is not the same thing as having a C-section.

Then there are the other types of friends, that disappear when they hear what you are going through. Honestly, which kind of friend would you rather have?

Satchfanswife,
"Well whoop de doo, good for her!" SO FUNNY!!! Thanks for making me chuckle out loud! so true though..

oh here's something to make you chuckle: today I bought something I would never buy for my recovery: Granny Panties! oh they're awful, so awful. 6-to-a-pack too!! hahaha. I just want to be comfortable afterwards..

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Originally Posted by only44 oh here's something to make you chuckle: today I bought something I would never buy for my recovery: Granny Panties! oh they're awful, so awful. 6-to-a-pack too!! hahaha. I just want to be comfortable afterwards..

But I bet they are comfortable. LOL

Just got it confirmed on Friday that I need the hysto (June 21 is surgery date) and I just feel like crying... i'm 50 and am just generally "off", not sleeping, and really moody over this whole thing. I only told my mom, who understands, my sister and my friend. My friend didn't even respond to me... silence! Guess she was using the Thumper rule: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" -- trying to laugh about it. I went out and got myself a pillow pet today LOL... made me feel good to do something to comfort myself!

I know, I'm having my operation on the 11th of april. I don't know what to think, I've got hormones raging and now all the horrible stories of woman cheating afterwards. What is that. I am really scared this time, even though I've had c-sections. But never have been put to sleep and now having dreams not nice ones either. My husband walks away when I want to talk about it. He doesn't know what to say either. Just that when you get this done you've been crazy before this shouldn't be any worse. grrrrrhhh is right. lol I don't know what I want from people either. But I do want lots of hugs and when noone wants to give them out like you have the pleague. It hurts my feelings. I don't know how I am going to feel afterwards and so many are depressed and i've been there alot. So much stess with this. Will my husband see me the same will he want me the same will I want him the same? I don't know if any of you are married. But I have been for 16 years and it scares me for me not to know how I will feel for him after this??? I know i'm not very supportive for you and your feelings too. I know we all get scared and want for people to understand. But you still feel like you are not whole. Or I do anyways. I do know that God is in control and he always has a silver linning. I hope you can help me out too. Even it my ranting "lol" is someone not all in one right state of mind right now. lol

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Originally Posted by love2sk8 Yep, I know what you mean. I keep expecting something from people, but I don't know what that is. And I think your post highlighted for me what it might be. I think I want people to actually *talk* with me about this. No one seems to want to actually talk with me. They say things like "it will be ok". "At least it is easily treated" or "it will all be over soon" or "you won't be gone too long". Like it is no big deal. And then they change the subject or go on with their day doing something else. I tell my team members at work that I need to have surgery and not one of them asks why I'm having surgery. That just doesn't feel like enough for what I'm going through or about to go through. I want to be asked what this is all about and talk about what I'm feeling. No, they don't get it. How could they? Most of them have not had a hyster, and they live under the impression that a hyster is so "common" that it is routine and not major surgery. I know I lived under that perception until now. That's why I'm so thankful to have this forum. Thank you all for listening and asking and supporting and being here! We are the ones who absolutely get it and are going through it right beside you. Best wishes, Anna

I've got a new one..a co-worker told me today "oh it's a piece of cake, they do them all the time..you'll be in and out no sweat! My friend had one and she was up and about in no time!" This is coming from someone who has never even given birth let alone had any kind of surgery..Oh wait, she did get a boob job! Does that count?
Do I sound catty? Well that's one of my moods..to go along with *****iness, poor me, and crazy woman.. and I haven't even been given a surgery date yet..that'll happen tomorrow!

dinko - I'm so bipolar this week that I'm surprised I have ANY friends other than my virtual ones ;-)
only44 - I bought SUPPORT granny panties, so you are in good company!!
Lilac - good for you on the pillow pet! Which one did you get?
Sassy5 - (((()))) my DH and I have been together for 20 years, and yes it has crossed my mind that he might not want me anymore. I figure its cheaper to keep me at this point, so I'm not stressing on that one. ;-)
Carmenfig - you sound like me :-D

I have had a mix of replies. Most have been the idiotic replies others have received here and others have been okay. ("Sorry you are going through that, is there anything I can do for you?" is actually a good reply I got.) And I have been fortunate in receiving support from others, if not verbally then in other ways, (most every older woman in my family has had a hysterectomy) BUT I can tell you for me all the antsy emotions and wishing someone could understand that its me going through this right now (not them!) and my experience may different from theirs are still there!! Everyone is different, we all feel and react differently to this situation. I think what most people need to try and understand is just because one person did this and that it does not mean it is the same for us. Good luck to everyone!!

All I got to say is that I understand. I try to come to this site nearly everyday and just knowing that I'm not all alone really makes me feel better. As for those who mean well.... yeah i get that too.