Surgery moved from December to NEXT FRIDAY! Ultimate fear & panic!

Thanks to all you sisters who have sent your thoughts, best wishes, and prayers! I am now over my initial shock and well into the preparations.

I thank God for all of your support

s Clementine

Clementine----s to you! I know this is sudden and not how you planned, but it may be a blessing in disguise. If you've been in a lot of pain, then the sooner you get it taken care of, the better.

I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers for quick resolutions to your challenges. I'm sure everything will be just fine, and you'll be so glad when it's all over!

Hey Clementine,

Our surgeries are just two days apart. And your list of concerns is a mirror of the thoughts I've had going through my head for the last few weeks.

When I had my appointment with the doctor and she directed me to her nurse for informaition about the date they had set up for me, I braced myself to hear that I would have to wait until fall or later for the hysterectomy. When she said the surgery was scheduled in three weeks, I did not react with the relief you would have thought I would have when I found out I wouldn't have the dreaded long wait. Instead, I immediately said, "But that's so soon!" I can only imagine how panicked I would feel with just one week's (or less) notice.

I think, when it's all over, we'll be glad we had the surgery sooner rather than later. It's just hard to face it when the time comes.

Hope to see you back here after the hysterectomy reporting an uneventful procedure. By the way, one of the things that has been bringing me comfort in the last few days is noting how many posts there are from those who have just returned from the hospital, reporting that they made it home.

Empressnormi ~I think you're right... this is a blessing in disguise. When I wake up every morning feeling like my pelvis is crushed and needing to take a pain killer and lie back down for an hour before I can even manage anything... it is definitely time for the surgery. Thanks for the prayers.
PhilippaR ~It's nice to know I'm not alone in the "rush" or in my feelings. Best wishes for your visit to the castle! Let me know how it goes.
s Clementine

Clementine.....
Here's a great big hug! {{{{{HUG}}}}}. I'm about a week from surgery and having all the same doubts and fears..I think it's normal to feel this way. I agree...it's gonna be so good to wake up and not be in too much pain to face the day! Let's just focus on that and maybe we won't feel quite as afraid. Bless you....

Hi Clementine,

I know EXACTLY how you feel! I had my hyst. scheduled for August, and I saw my doc. for something else. When he pressed on my belly he was shocked... Did an immediate ultrasound--doc did it himself! My biggest fibroid had grown from 6 cm to 15 cm in 4 months! I was in surgery 4 days later. I too panicked about my house, my kids, but mostly about my JOB. The timing couldn't have been worse job-wise!

BUT...I'm still here. I had an AMAZING experience/recovery. (see my journal) Aside from constipation, I had no problems and no pain after the first hour post op. Although in SHOCK, I was amazingly calm about the surgery itself. I'm not sure why...I really trusted my dr. My fears were that I would have a long painful recovery...but I didn't !

You are about to END a long and horrible chapter of your life! I hope & pray that you have a similar experience, and that you find peace over the next few days! We'll be waiting to hear from you after you return home!

vickieinsd~ Thanks for letting me know you share the same fears... my DH reminded me last night that I worried I would die last year when I had my lap and all was fine... Best of luck to you on your castle visit... let me know how it goes!
finallyready~ I will definitely read your journal (I started one too as it is an amazing therapy to write). Thanks for sharing your positive experiences-- I need to hear that!!! I've been cleaning & laundering all day which helps me keep my mind off my fears. Fortunately for me this is the best possible time of year to visit the castle since I don't go back to work until late August. I wish you continued good health!
s ~Clementine

Hi Clementine!

Oh, a big to you!! That sounds like quite an adjustment to make! Your feelings are so normal!! I had my LAVH on the 19th--so far, so good. No complications, surgery went very well. I'm sure you will be OK too. I will definitely pray for you and think about you on Friday. You'll soon be a ! Let us know how everything goes. Be sure to check out my post--I'll be posting it in a little while tonight. Just going to share some post-op tips for you LIW's!

Also, I wasn't able to get everything done before my surgery that I thought I needed to. Turns out, the world didn't end!! It has all been just fine. Remember it's important to take care of yourself and be rested BEFORE your surgery too!!

Take Care!

BunnyLover

Wow, your head must be spinning.

I was so proud of myself a few weeks ago when scheduling my TVH for dysplasia. Took the first available spot instead of one a couple of weeks later. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to wait longer than a few weeks. About your fears......

Surgical complications? They happen but outside this message board I've never talked to anyone who experienced them. I'm a healthcare person so I get exposed to a bit and still haven't heard of anything more than short term (less than 6 months) problems and most of those would be termed annoyances by the people who report them (in the grand scheme of things), eg., less energy, pain, hormonal changes, etc. I was concerned about complications and even wanted to tell my doctor to mind those ureters just before I went under. Thought this might irritate him though and you must never irritate someone with a sharp instrument in his hand.

Won't fix the problem? Educate yourself then take your best shot at fixing the problem. There are no guarantees for any of us I don't think. We dysplasia people live with the fact that we still have hpv and it could come back as vaginal dysplasia/cancer. Guess everyone has their cross to bear. Sorry. It's hard, isn't it?

Fear of death? Had that one too. It only occurs to me now that my last thought before my lights went out was, "Gee, she's holding this mask on my face like she means business." Shoulda been thinking something like "its been a really nice life," or "my husband will do a great job raising the kids," or "I never did get to see Hong Kong." The truth is by the time they were putting me on the table I was so glad it was moments away from being over and I was intensely curious about the whole proceedings.

A suggestion for making the best of the fear of death thing is to look around you this second and see something that gives you pleasure, something that you might not otherwise have stopped to appreciate. Feel that pleasure. The second step is to tell yourself nothing in the past and nothing in the future can take away from the beauty of this moment. Right now I'm writing an email that I hope will make someone feel a little better, if only briefly. I'm looking at a beautiful clear sky, bobbing boats and listening to neighborhood kids playing. Those things have always been there in the background but for this moment I give pause and say Life is Grand!

All the best

BunnyLover~ Thank you yet again for sharing your experiences with me. I love to read all of your posts, as I always seem to learn something I didn't know before from you. Thanks for writing!
ziggystardust~ Your inspirational words remind me of who I was before all of this pain... thanks for your soothing affirmations. Your words made me feel so much better! I will remember to count my blessings, smell the roses, look on the bright side, etc., etc... Continued good luck on your own recovery.
s ~Clementine