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preop
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05-07-2001, 08:02 AM
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Guest
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preop
I am 23 years old, and I have known since I was 16 that I wound eventually end up having a complete hysterectomy. I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis and underwent my first laporoscopic surgery in Oct 96, the second in July of 99. In 99 I was told that if I want children to go ahead and start trying but that there was a 90% chance that I would never get pregnant. I had just gotten married in May and on Nov5 I found out that I was pregnant with my son. I am scheduled for surgery on May 14 and I am terriffed! My dream in life was always to teach school and have a big family, now I am having that all taken away from me. I am having a very difficult time handling this decision in every aspect of my life. Any support or advice is greatly appriciated.
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05-07-2001, 08:53 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 26
Hysterectomy: June 4th, 1992
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preop
Hi Tabitha,
First of all, let me say that things in life very rarely work out the way we want them to. You are 23 years old, I am 37, and believe me, I can look back and wish I had done a few things differently. The best advice I can give you is to take what you have now, especially the fact that God gave you a beautiful son, and take care of that and nurture that. Have faith that this is for the best. Remember, things could always be worse. The surgery will improve your quality of life by far if you have had problems since you were 16. There is no reason you cannot teach school still. God may have a lot of work for you there if He has given you that calling. Sometimes we don't always understand why things happen when they do or why they do. I am scheduled for TVH on June 4. Totally unexpected, but have been having problems since the birth of my son in 99. My husband wanted another child, but that is not to be. Have faith that things will work out in your best interests. Life has not ended, it has only just begun. Take it one day at a time.
God Bless You.
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05-07-2001, 06:43 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 3,099
Hysterectomy: March 5th, 2001
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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preop
Hi Tabitha...
You have some really hard things to deal with here, and at a very young age!! I was terrified, and I'm 44.
You are lucky to have been able to have your son, and if this surgery can help improve the quality of your life, then maybe you can make peace with it. It may not be what you imagined, but try to keep an open mind about what lies ahead for you.
If a large family is what you want, you can build your family through adoption. There are many different roads to a fulfilling life...you can still have your dreams.
I hope that you can find some relief from your pain and move forward to a healthier life....we'll all be here to help in any way we can!
Sending you big s
Karen
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05-07-2001, 08:27 PM
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Guest
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preop
Instead of looking at this as a negative can you possibly find a positive? What if you had had your surgery before you had your son?! Look how fortunate you are to have him; lots of ladies who come here will never even have one.
Maybe you could start a journal and write down all the wonderful things that your son has brought and will bring to your life. And remember that some ladies cannot fill any pages.
As far as having a big family: foster parenting, surrogate mother, adoption (U.S. and foreign). Involvement with kids: teaching, Big Sister, Brownies, Girl Scouts, mentoring programs, reading programs, volunteering at your child's school, volunteering at local hospital and work with children, volunteer at a United Way organization work with children. Your life can be as full and as rewarding as you want it to be. You have a son, sounds like a terrific reward!
Hugs,
Miranda
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05-08-2001, 07:48 AM
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Guest
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preop
I just want to add 2 cents from my own experience. My folks only had me. And we were poor when I was growing up so adoption was out of the question even though my parents had wanted a large family too. When I went to college they were finally financially stable enough...they bought a house and signed on with the County to be foster parents. They've had over 20 kids in these last 20 years, some short term and some long. Now, my 30 year old brother (15 years old when he came to them) has a daughter and for her my folks are grandma and grandpa. My 27 year old brother (14 when he came) got married last year and my parents walked arm in arm with him down the aisle. They have helped so many kids and families and in turn have a large family of their own. (also, good for me so I don't feel the pressure of not giving them grandchildren!)
I think where one dream dies, another can take its place.
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05-08-2001, 09:00 AM
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Guest
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thank you all
i went for my pre op today. i never would have been able to go without this web site. i have gotten sooo much information since i found out about this. thank you all for the emails etc.
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05-08-2001, 10:34 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 26
Hysterectomy: June 4th, 1992
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Surgery
Tabitha,
Please let me know how you are doing. I will be thinking about you.
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05-08-2001, 12:19 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 255
Hysterectomy: June 6th, 2001
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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preop
I am 45 and my surgery is June 6 for TAH/BSO. I teach 130 wonderful 12 and 13 year-olds reading and creative writing. I never found time to have children of my own nor did I ever really want them. These kids truly bring joy, laughter, and tears of joy to my life. Go on with your teaching dream! You may find that it will take care of some of your sadness. Also, hug that little boy of yours every day for he is another blessing you have. God has obviously chosen another mission for you like he did me.
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05-09-2001, 11:37 AM
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Guest
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preop
im still here and still a nervous wreak. i hiope this only gets easier after this is all done and over with. i do feel more at ease after having a really long talk with my dr. God Bless HIm!!!!
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