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Looking for advice-have 3 young children, need hyst, apprehensive about recovery.
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05-20-2002, 01:03 AM
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Looking for advice-have 3 young children, need hyst, apprehensive about recovery.
I have a 18 mo old, a 4 yr old, and a newborn. My hysterectomy is being scheduled now, and I am very apprehensive, not about the surgery, but about how we will handle recovery. Has anyone gone through this with little ones, or have any advice/tips on how to deal with my little ones while recovering? I will have full time help the first two weeks, but after that I'm going to be pretty much on my own. There is a way for me to get help from my church, but that would mean I need to get it organized now for it to be in place during my recovery, and honestly I'm not sure how to deal with having other people help. Is it best for them to come to my house and take care of me and the kids, or will it not take that much and they could just take the kids during the day, or what? I just am not sure quite what to expect. I know it takes at least 6 weeks to heal, but I'm not sure what time amount of that I'll be flat on my back, when I can start taking care of myself, and when I can start taking care of my kids for longer and longer periods of time. If you have children or not, how have you handled getting people to help? (I don't have any family other than my dh, who will take his full 2 weeks vac. right after the hysterectomy) Anyhow, you can probably guess this is what I'm stressing about right now, thanks to all of you for any help you can give me-it helps to just get it out even, I am very grateful for this board!
TIA Shauna
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05-20-2002, 04:22 AM
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Posts: 54
Hysterectomy: June 12th, 2002
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looking for advice
Dear Sister,
I have 2 children but not quite as small as yours. My dd is 7 and my ds is 4. I am going to have my mother and my dh and their babysitter take care of them for the entire 6 weeks. I have had abdominal surgery before and I didn't do so well. (THis is just a me thing and everyone else does better I'm just weird) I would suggest lining up the people from your church now. If your hubby is home in the evenings it would probably be ok just to get help in the day time. SOrry I couldn't be more helpful but be patient more knowlegable sisters will be on their way to answer your questions.
Charlotte
___________________
27 TAH/BSO for PCOS, vericose veins and the pain.
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05-20-2002, 04:22 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 1,435
Hysterectomy:
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Looking for advice-have 3 young children, need hyst, apprehensive about recovery.
Hi Shauna! Welcome to Hyster Sisters!
Have you read the pull-down menus on the main page yet? www.hystersisters.com There is a lot of information on this site and those menus helped me answer questions and gather questions for me to ask my doctor.
As far as care for your children, you need to have someone there 24/7 to help you as you cannot know how you will be after the surgery. Everyone varies so much from pre-op through post-op and there is no way to predict this. Especially since you have little ones that will need care. I'm glad someone will be there the first 2 weeks. Ask your doctor about the weight limits for lifting. I would think it would be around what is the average, nothing more than 5-15 pounds. But, ask YOUR doctor. There are hundreds of stitches inside of you after surgery and lifting something or someone, too heavy will cause you to not heal totally and correctly.
You don't say what kind of surgery you will be having. I had a TAH and I was up and around pretty well at week 3. I was so tired though and I rested on the couch tons, watching movies...so be prepared for that with either a TAH or TVH.
Sara
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05-20-2002, 06:48 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 278
Hysterectomy: May 24th, 2002
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Organizing
Shauna,
I bet the Caring Committee at your church will do the organizing. I know at my church, as soon as they know someone has had surgery or any other need, the Caring Committee takes over. If your dh just lets them know when your surgery is, and when he is going back to work, they will likely do all the organizing.
The committee at my church has a list of names of folks who are willing to visit, do housework, cook meals, babysit, etc. The chair of the committee will pull it all together. Remember, it makes them feel good to be able to help you.
My guess would be that for the most part, having someone come in to your house would work best, just so that everyone is napping in his/her own bed, familiar with surroundings, etc. Plus, your house is certainly child-proof already. If the kids are nearby, being cared for by someone else, you will rest easy. It's easier to get snuggles and kisses from them that way, too.
Before you know it, you will be up and running again.
Take care.
Nancy
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05-20-2002, 09:04 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 528
Hysterectomy: June 4th, 2002
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Looking for advice-have 3 young children, need hyst, apprehensive about recovery.
Dear Shauna,
I went to care for my sister and her two small children after her hyst many years ago. They lived far away from family and their usual support system at the time. Her DH had to work during the day and my sister felt that it was really important for my nieces to have their routines stay as close to normal as possible.
She slept most of the first week. I would bring the baby in to just lie with her a for a bit. My two year old niece was so sweet and careful with her mom - it was really quite lovely to behold.
My sister couldn't lift the baby from her crib for about three weeks, and even after that, we continued to do it most of the time, well into the 5th week. She slowly got back into cooking simple meals, but only when she felt like doing it. Her DH and I did the grocery shopping, laundry and housecleaning. I stayed for 6 weeks and even after I left, she still needed help from neighbours to nap in the afternoon sometimes.
Everyone is different to be sure, but I thought I would share our experience with you. Is it possible to set up the help from your church with the understanding that it may or may not be needed after all, depending on how you feel?
My heartfelt best wishes to you,
Cecee
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05-20-2002, 10:07 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 11
Hysterectomy: March 13th, 2002
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Don't worry!
You and your children will do just fine!
I had my TAH/BSO in mid-March, and have a rambunctious, 2yo who is VERY attached to me! He understood that I had a big "boo boo" and would come up on the couch, and lay next to me for his bottles and for cuddling. He played with the other family members, but still got in the all-important physical loving.
So....
For your 2 younger children, I'll bet you'll be able to give them lots of love and caring, and as for doing their maintenance work of diapering and bathing, etc., it doesn't matter nearly so much who does that, does it?
As for your recovery, hope for the best, and plan for the not-so-fast. My own recovery went without a hitch. It was awhile before I was picking up my 30 pound toddler, but otherwise, I got back into the swing of things at a good pace. Listen to your body, take it easy, and accept all the help you can get! Your surgery and recovery will be a memory of something long-done before you know it!
Best wishes~
Judy
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05-20-2002, 12:54 PM
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Thank you all for the replies, it has helped me a lot!
I think I will make arrangements for the full 6 weeks and let them know how I am doing and if I need the total help as I feel up to it.. I am doing a LAVH, but it may be necessary to finish up abdominally, they won't know until they are in there.... The care committe probably will take care of contacting individuals, etc, as long as I let them know what I need. I have a hard time not being able to take care of myself and my family and I just pray that I don't push myself too hard.
Thank you all
Shauna
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