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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
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05-26-2007, 10:35 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 19
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
There are 25 of them wanting to make the trip. they live five hours from us, so they will plan on staying at least three days. They view this as a vacation. Will bring 12 kids ranging from newborn to age 25....all of whom believe the need entertained. SIL's and MIL will fully expect someone to chauffeur them around to go shopping. It will be epected of me to do the cooking, cleaning and waiting on them. When they come, they park their fannies, and wait to be taken care of. One SIL always comes in and starts making fun of everything we have, one BIL finds it amusing to call our kids and grandkids degrading names. All of those kids in the kitchen wanting breakfast is like the seagulls in Finding Nemo. It is a bit more than I can handle when I am feeling normally. They've just been counting the days, have been asking almost since the surgery how soon they can all come. If my own kids and grandkids decide to come visit, there will be 11 more here. Part of them think that they need to stay at our house, part in a hotel, and will need driven back and forth to the hotel, but they'll be back for breakfast. Did I mention that they bring their dogs...big dogs. I already have two big dogs and a small dog living here, plus they will bring a couple of black labs as well.
I don't know what to do. Six weeks will be up just a few days before they want to come. I'm still fighting the dizziness, pain and swelling when I try to do too much in the house, and found out today that it happens when I try to do too much driving. I don't know how I'm going to pull this one off. I'm thinking with these moody sessions I've been having, they might have a less than gracious hostess. Of course, DH isn't going to say anything that will upset any of them.
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05-26-2007, 11:47 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 2,199
Hysterectomy: November 29th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
That's far too much for you to handle physically and emotionally. Tell them you're not ready for that and ask them to reschedule. Stand your ground and say "you can't come now!" Your recovery is far more important.
IMO
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05-27-2007, 05:54 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 1,120
Hysterectomy: May 18th, 2007
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
I concur 110%! No way no how!
If DH can't stand behind you (his wife!) then I would schedule my own vacation for the time when these people are going to invade your sanctuary and be outta there!
Healing requires a good MENTAL state as well as physical.
This life is full of bumps in the road. Tell them that this year they won't be able to come for a visit -- might have to be another time in the future when you're up to par. Major surgery and complete recovery is not something to be taken lightly!
Best of luck -- I feel for you.
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05-27-2007, 06:13 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 2,080
Hysterectomy: September 26th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
No, no, and NO!
If DH won't say it, you have to. You have one shot at your recovery, and now is it. Your body is still healing...have DH look at the section for men, and maybe he will realize it is not a quick fix..6 weeks does not mean you are completely healed.
And if they come anyway, I agree with Donna - YOU go on your own vacation.
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05-27-2007, 06:22 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 7,531
Hysterectomy: October 23rd, 2006
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
wow thats a lot of people and defiintely not a good time. as much as people say "we'll do things on our own", it doesnt happen. dont push yourself like that...someone has to tell them no. i cant imagine how hard telling them no would be and the feelings its going to cause, but right after surgery...a visit like that is impossible. dont feel bad...you just had major surgery and you need to take it slow. let us know what happens...what does your husband think?
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05-27-2007, 07:20 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 87
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
wOW twomanydogs
you had your hys same time i had mine . I feel for you think DH needs to know you are still recovering from Major surgery and that he needs to notify family you still need your rest .
Good luck to you .
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05-27-2007, 08:12 AM
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Posts: 351
Hysterectomy: April 11th, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
Hi!
Oh, my. I had my surgery on April 11th and there is no way I could handle that many people with those types of attitudes. You must be saint to handle them when they come. I don't think I could do it even if I was alright!
No way should you try that now. That is too much for your body.
Is there anyway you could talk with your doc and get him to recommend that they come at a much later time? I don't know what it is about a hysterectomy but some people just don't understand how it can really affect you! If you can get something from your doc then you have to follow what he recommends and that could take you off the hook. It is just a thought.
Best of luck!
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05-27-2007, 08:33 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 108
Hysterectomy: April 11th, 2007
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
NO, NO, and NO! I have to go OUT to family things and am not sure I will make it. At 6.5 weeks this week I landed in the ER for doing too much and getting dehydrated, fever, throwing up, I'm still in bed with the worst headache ever - can't kick it == get your doctor to say NO! Really - your husband must say no for you. You just can't. PLEASE!
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05-27-2007, 08:44 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 82
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
Hi!,
we had our surgery the same day and let me tell you, I had 15 people over for a BBQ yesterday and I am wiped out today, i did all the cooking (some brought a dish) grilling, set up and clean up, my suggestion to you is 1. tell them NO they cant come or 2. run as far away from your home as you can when they show up....your DH really needs to open up his mouth and let his family know that you are still recovering.
good luck
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05-27-2007, 09:09 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 151
Hysterectomy: February 27th, 2007
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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My dh's whole fam damily wants to visit
I am three months today. I had my DD's graduation and family in and will have a party today. I am wiped out. PLEASE listen to your body. They say 6 week recovery but I am still healing at 3 months. These people need to understand you just had surgery and this year is not the year for a free ride vacation. No offense to your family, but seriously who could handle all that on a good day!
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