help me out PLEASE

I had my tah on nov 18th and I have some questions, first thing my heart rate was really high for 3 days post op, at resting it was 110 and any slight movement it would go to 125-130. So I wasnt allowed to walk at all, then I had issues with my bladder not wanting to work, I could pee on my own for 3 days, then I was able to but with immense pain on my right side as my bladder empties, I have to stop mid stream then let go a little at a time, my bladder doesnt hurt its my right side, then I still can only stand no more than 10 minutes without having major pain. I have so much pressure from my family asking me why I still cant cook dinner and I have no explanation, they think I am lying. I cant even go to the store yet it hurts so much. someone if you have any answers please reply. I feel so helpless,

Bjquintana, I had the same surgery the day before you & there is no way that you should be doing anything like that yet. I'd be having a quiet chat with your family & explaining what's been done & why you cannot do those things for quite some time yet. This is your time to heal, you only get one chance. Hugs.

I had my TAH 5 days before you. I have had no problems, but I am doing NOTHING except tending to myself - per Dr's orders!

I feel sorry that you have this added pressure on you about cooking meals!! 'No lifting' means pots and pans too! Is your family aware of Dr's orders and the fact that you could end up BACK in the HOSPITAL if you don't take care of yourself?? THEN they would really be without home-ccoked meals for a while!!

If you do not have these restrictions in writing, print some off from this website --- Links to commercial sites not allowed per Hystersisters.com TOS and post them on your fridge! It says "Do NOT prepare your OWN meals for a few weeks...."

If there is no one to ask to bring in meals, then expect your husband/family to eat soup, sandwhiches and the many easy microwave foods that are available at the grocery store. They will survive.

If you are like many of us moms, you may be feeling guilty for NOT cooking for your family right now. Please DON'T!!! The BEST thing you can do for your family IS to focus on YOURSELF, ESPECIALLY if no one else is!! This time WILL pass and you will be back to the kitchen soon enough!

Sending you HUGS, PRAYERS and BEST WISHES!!!

I had a LAVH on the same day you did. I am feeling great, so my hubby who has been such a wonderful helper, has decided I must be good enough to do all the cooking and cleaning now. Its frustrating.

I'm so sorry you're having a tough go of it right now.

You're only about a week post-op. At that point, I was barely able to do anything beyond 1) going potty and emptying my drains, b) getting water for myself and c) running the remote on the TV.

Cooking? Ha! I tried my first meal at about 5 weeks post-op. I made chicken breasts, Stovetop stuffing and corn.... and I was so exhausted I couldn't even eat. I watched everyone else eat while I was back "in my couch".

Cooking is very strenuous. You go to the fridge, reach for stuff, then reach for the pans, reach for the plates, reach for the silverware.... then you put some water in a pan and before you know it you've overdone it big time. Until such time as you are feeling up to it (and this time is different for everyone) there is Subway, McDonalds and the old standby, 1-800 PIZZA for supper if no one else around you will cook. Ask for a salad from McDonalds -- way healthier and much easier on your digestive tract. (But don't forget the McFlurry if you want one. You've earned it!)

I'm serious about this. My dd (16 at the time of my surgery) and dh did all household tasks (including caring for the 3-year-old ds) while I was recuperating. All I had to do was kiss my son goodnight every evening.

Feel free to allow dh and anyone else who needs to see it to read this post over your shoulder. Also look at the Hysterectomy Checkpoints for Weeks 1-2 for more information.

And if whoever is skeptical needs something more than just a support website as proof that you're a -- here's my all-time favorite page: Mayo Clinic on abdominal hysterectomy Have them read it all -- especially the tab "What to expect" which clearly says it takes 6-8 weeks to feel back to your old self.

There have been so many medical advances that it's not surprising that many people think that surgery is no big deal these days. An open abdominal surgery, however, is not one of those surgeries.

bjquintana,
OMGosh! Best wishes to you on a speedy recovery! I am sorry that you have had such difficulties! Keep your chin up and you eye on the prize when this is all done!

Family... gotta love them... UGH!!!

I'm having a similar issue with my sister who lives in Chicago. She can't understand why I feel like crap and thinks I'm making it up.

Hang in there... hope you feel better soon.

My mother-in-law gave me the best advise EVER! She said not to get dressed for at least 6 weeks. Stay in your p.j.'s and everyone will know you are not yourself. As soon as you get dressed they think you are back to normal and will expect you to do your regular responsibilities. After three kids, a gallbladder surgery, an appendectomy and a TAH/BSO I can tell you it works! Good luck!

Hi BJ,
Hang in there sister! I also had a racing heartbeat for about 3 days off and on, and then it went away. Possibly a side effect from the annesthesia.

But you need to sit your family down and give them a serious talking to. The last thing you need to feel when you're healing is pressure to prepare them meals. Set them straight with what you can and can't do, given the major surgery you just went through. Kids may not understand, but adults should. Call in whatever local support you have to help- neighbors, friends, family to bring in meals. But right now, this is not your problem, its theirs. Take care of yourself so you don't have a relapse.

Hope things improve,
Julie

The best advice I can give you is REST!!! Your family will have to understand. I am 4 weeks post op and am making simple dinners but I get the kids or DH to do all the lifting. If I know no one will be home till late, I get them to put all the pots and pans on the stove for me before they leave, they even fill the pot with water for me so that I do not lift a thing. You must not lift anything for at least 6 weeks. Listen to your body, it will tell you when you are overdoing it.

And don't forget there is always delivery!!!!

Best of luck