Had sex for the first time

campergurl...have no advice to give really but wanted you to know that you are not alone. My husband and I have ALWAYS had a very satisfying and active sex life. I always had multiple O's. Well, it will be 2 months on Monday since my surgery(LATVH) and we had sex for the first time 2 days ago and it was awful. It felt like someone was putting red hot coals in my vagina and I had no feeling on the right side of my vagina. Sooo..of course no O at all. Instead I cried it hurt so much. I felt like my vagina was literally on fire. My Dr. said that I had a lot of trauma to my vagina from surgery so it would take longer to heal. So no sex for at least another 3-4 weeks. To tell you the truth I am afraid to have sex again because I keep thinking what if it never gets any better. My Dr. said the numbness on the right may get better with time. Sorry to be so long, just wanted you to know you are not alone. Give it time when things heal more you may find things will work out. Good Luck!!

Lovetheocean thanks for the hugs and advice these past few weeks, you've been a great source if info, advice and general hugs
Tauruslady, I am early still in my healing thanks for the advice and encouragement

Countryliving, I am so sorry you had it much rougher then I did. I hope that given time you are able to bounce fight back and you are 110 percent
It is frustrating though to think you should be all healed and doing great then whammmo... Something happens and you feel like it's day one again, I guess that's just the way it goes.

Hey Campergurl, let me join in and echo those who are telling you to give it time. It's different for each of us, depending on many different factors, and the anxiety or stress doesn't help us or DH. Let's face it, sexuality is a wonderful part of life, so when it seems like it isn't working "like it used to," it's easy to get discouraged (especially with the roller coaster ride of recovery) and think it won't ever work well again; but that isn't necessarily true.

My doctor was able to give me some pointers (and lidocaine gel) that helped, including some massage techniques that helped us. My DH and I have become partners in learning how to enjoy one another with my new parts. I'm still a little sore after sex, but it keeps improving. Many of our sisters further along in recovery say that it takes six months or more to be fully recovered, and that has to impact our sex lives, too.

Hang in there!

I also just had sex for the first time this morning. I had a TLVH. It also wasn't the same, but my dr. told me that this would be the case. It took me a long time to become aroused and I used lubricant because I was afraid of it hurting. I had a little O but not nearly what I used to experience. I think part of my problem was that I was going into it very nervous and afraid of being hurt. I think if we both give it more time it will get better, probabaly never exactly the same, but will improve. Good luck. As far as crying after, I didn't do that but I did get really depressed and was feeling unsatisfied with my body, looks and all that business. So I had a little pitty party, but am getting over it. Take care.

Sandy

Camper,
I can totally relate! I'm a "cervix girl" myself! I'm a little nervous about the first time! And that will be Tuesday! I'm almost hoping the day doesn't come! LOL!

I guess it will really be like "The first time"!!! Scared to death! At least we don't have to worry about the things we did, way back when! LOL!

{{{Hugs}}}

Oh campergirl, you are so welcome....i am glad to be of help and encouragement....this is just a roller coaster of a recovery time, isn't it? ...

I think i truly underestimated how long it really takes...not that I regret the decision, I dont

Hey friends, I just had a moment of enlightenment on the forums page. The "Sexual Dysfunction" forum is for women more than six months post-op. So it seems to me that it is somewhat normal for us to be working through the whole sexual intimacy part of our recovery right now. The comfort for me comes in knowing that this is an expected and common part of our recovery journey.

Isn't it great to have a place to talk about it safely?

Happy rest of your weekend!

Campergurl,
sorry to hear your frist time was less than what you had hopped for. DH and I just tryed for the second time this morining ( I was 6 wks last friday) please don't let this discourage you, but both times have not been fun for me. I feel so tight inside, I feel like I can feel where I was stitched up and that they are ripping apart. I know this is not true, I has lots done inside, I also had a rectcycle done, and every thing was done thur the vag. So I knew it would be different. I hope your O's come back, me, I was never that lucky, out of 32yrs, maybe 30 times that I can remember being so out of control, most of the time it was just nice and relaxing.