anybody else depressed about all of this?

Well, After two weeks of anxiety my biopsy reports are back. I dont have cancer but still need to have surgery. My GYN sent me to a Urologist for a cystocele/rectocele evaluation. I have a grade 2 with stress incontinence. He stated that its a quality of life choice if I need to have surgery or not. He said "if you were my wife, I'd tell you to have the surgery" Then in another breath it is all up to me because it must not be that bad to live with all of the symptoms. Is the insurance going to pay for a quality of life choice?
I feel like I am going crazy. The female doctors want the surgery the male doctors say its my choice for quality of life.
I have been under treatment for severe Iron deficiency anemia for the past three years to finally get my blood count close to normal. This required IV Venofer treatments for five days every four months. I also have B12 deficency that I have to have a shot for once a month. OK so I can live with this. My hematologist sent me to the GYN because of the continued drops in blood counts despite treament. Everybody says I need a Hyst. I do have a large fibroid so maybe thats the problem.
I interveiwed for a new job( before I knew about the need for a Hyst) and the results were very disappointing because I have everything, the experience, the knowledge, ect, to do the job well, but " every body is worried about your health" So I didn't get the job because I'm an older woman that might have surgery? I dont get it.
My husband is trying to understand this bundel of nerves mixed with anger and sadness. I feel like I have disappointed him as well as myself. Maybe I just need not to care so much.

If they turned you down solely on account of your health, I believe that's an illegal form of job discrimination and could land them in trouble. Our lawyers tell us we're not allowed to even ask about health issues.

I don't blame you for feeling depressed. You have been through a lot, and even in the best of circumstances, it's an emotional and insecure process to go through. I wish you the best, and hope the worst is behind you now. I tend to be prone to depression. It has not hit me in the context of the surgery, because it is going to be such a much-needed break from my work responsibilities. But I can totally relate.

P.S. I am really glad your biopsy came back benign! I posted on the CC section of this site a few times because I had some questions about my diagnosis of severe dysplasia. Seeing what those brave, strong women are going through and how well they are facing things is very inspiring.

First of all, your insurance should cover you. It's a quality of life issue, not a boob job or something like that!

You're under a lot of stress, emotionally and physically. Believe me, a "little fibroid" can wreak havoc on your energy. If it isn't outright giving you anemia it might just be sucking the life out of you. Mine certainly was.

It's so much better now to have it gone. The recovery is hard. But it's better than the slow decline of vitality I was experiencing before. The 6 weeks off go by in a flash. You get some time to rest and think about what's important in your life. It's a really positive experience.

I would say get the hysterectomy. But it's not right to give advice. All I have to offer is my personal experience. I was not in as bad a shape as you, but I can totally feel the difference for the better.