Turned 40 and got the diagnosis

I turned 40 on June 16. My husband sucsesfully pulled off a surprise party for me. It was wonderful. Two days later I go in for my yearly exam, and for a follow up on problems that I'd been having with very heavy bleeding. Periods that last 5-6 days with me changing every hour or so.
I am told that after 4 pregnancies and a miscariage, a hyster is the only guarenteed cure.
The idea of living free of headaches backaches mood swings cramps and bleeding sounds wonderful. So why am I so depresed?! Our last child was a surprise. So much so that I had my tubes tied. The fact that I'm feeling such lose and anxiety just doesn't make sense.
I'm going to be having my surgery on July 3, the day before my wedding aniversary. The three older kids will be at camp or visiting Grandma, so my husband only has to worry about me and the baby. It'll be done laproscopicly, and I'm hoping that this will mean a fast recovery.
Thanks for letting me vent. DH doesn't seam to understand why I'm so upset.

Well, we all have emotions coming from every direction these days. I am sooo excited to have the surgeru yet scared, stressed and upset all at the same time. I have three children and I think part of my problems isn't whether or not we WANTED anymore but the fact that I CANT have anymore.. I've said it before, I can't imagine what the ladies here have gone through that wanted children but weren't able to, I feel extremely grateful for that. Dh's don't understand b/c they can't understand. Some handle it well better then others but in general (arlynn and desiree's dh's excluded.. hahaha) most just cant understand it all b/c they have never been there. They want to fix us but they can't physically do that so they are at a loss. I'll be thinking about you!!

I think that being emotional and nervous while facing a hysterectomy is normal.
There are several places here where you can get info that should be helpful for your DH. The FAQ's for Family and Friends sure helped my DH understand what I was facing and how to help me best ( click here ) .

Best wishes.

S

I agree with Jeanus, even if he can't understand why your upset he does need to understand that you are upset. Sometimes our DHs don't know what to do for us so they do nothing at all. Do the research for him and let him know what it is he can do for you to help you through this difficult period in your life.

Thanks Ladies,
Being able to tell him that he doesn't have to understand WHY I'm upset, just that I am will help out a LOT.
The list of what to tell my friends and family is a huge help too. He's always very good about doing more than his share of house work anyway, but preping him for the extra baby duties will be fun! Our older kids will be away, but he'll have the 8mo old to keep him busy.

I'm reading all about how difficult a recovery is when the hyster is an abdominal one. Howver, I'm having a laproscopic one. I'm wondering if the recovery will be about the same as my tubal.

Uglyhat

I've been feeling the same way. Nervous and questioning my decision as well as feeling like I can't wait to have the day be here so I can be on the other side. This site has been fabulous in letting all of us know we are not alone. It's full of such great info. So glad I found it!

So glad I'm not alone. I've never felt so alone before in my life. Having this web site and all the fabulous ladies that help each other along has taken that feeling away.

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So why am I so depresed?! Our last child was a surprise. So much so that I had my tubes tied. The fact that I'm feeling such lose and anxiety just doesn't make sense.

I'm right there with you!!! My husband had a vasectomy after my daughter was born...so why should it bother me that I will soon have my uterus taken out....Crazy! Even before I started having my female problems, we had decided that we were done having children...And now I feel sad that I won't ever be able to have another...Not that I would, either...Crazy how the brain (or should I say, heart) works!

Welcome to the site!