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People just hurt my feelings...
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10-24-2006, 07:14 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,535
Hysterectomy: July 31st, 2006
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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People just hurt my feelings...
Lynette
Be proud of yourself for being strong and wise for taking care of your health so well. And be very proud of yourself for not being manipulated by stupid insensitve remarks.
There is nothing we can do to stop or change the behavior of others. But we can choose not to be affected by their rude remarks or bad behavior.
The lesson in all this is . . .we sisters will never beliitle someone else's recovery . We will always be sensitive and caring to others in need. . .I think that is the real lesson in all this.
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10-24-2006, 07:24 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 9
Hysterectomy: October 9th, 2006
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People just hurt my feelings...
I am one of those who thought this TAH couldn't possibly be any worse than any of my 3 c/s. Boy, was I wrong! They warned me it could be painful due to the chance of scar tissue (I did have alot), but I wasn't prepared. I'm 2 weeks post op, and it's been brutal so far. Much, much more painful than I planned. A friend had this same surgery a year ago and she told me how great she felt afterwards and even begged her doc to let her back to work after just 4 weeks. It just shows that everybody is different, as is every body. No two recoveries are the same.
Keep taking it slow and don't worry about what others say. You know what your body needs better than anyone.
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10-24-2006, 07:37 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 83
Hysterectomy: October 13th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Hurt my feelings.
Hello Lynette,
People have always something to say...good or bad, blah, blah, blah...And they usually jugde you, "measure" you, etc...In this case just listen to your doctor and get better the way he/she told you so. FORGET ABOUT IT!
I haven't told many people about what kind of surgery I had, it's nobody's business...for the uncalled inquirers I just said I had my boobs and butt "realined" (and trust me, that would have been an awesome idea)...that's all! :0) You throw them off with an answer like this and they smile (make people smile, you need them on your side always), they have nothing else to ask...It worked for me...nowadays everybody is getting something "reconstructed"...right?
There is always a funny side on every situation, just find it and use it. Think "Seinfeld", what a show! And life is a show and you are the starring star!
Good luck!
Get better and be strong. :0)
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10-24-2006, 07:41 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,717
Hysterectomy: September 25th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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People just hurt my feelings...
Hi Lynette,
You're NOT lazy. Unless people themselves have been through a hyster they WILL not understand. Yes, maybe some do go to work sooner than later, but a lot of those have problems for that too and have pain etc..that may last for years. You're right..you get ONE chance to heal right...........so don't let those stories make you do anything different that what you're doing. You know your body more than anyone else. You ARE doing the right thing.
So don't let those people get to you. Hang in there.
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10-24-2006, 08:41 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 681
Hysterectomy: September 19th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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People just hurt my feelings...
Someone commented to me the other day that I was X number of weeks out and how I should be feeling now, etc. I just looked at them and asked when they had had their hysterectomy and if they also had the additional repairs that I had had. They looked at me funny and I told them I wasn't looking to win an Oscar for best or fastest recovery. I'm not into making excuses at this point. It isn't going like I planned and I have enough to contend with without worrying a wit about what others are thinking of me at this point. Realistically, only someone who is close to your experience at the same time (as in all of you here!!!!) can truly understand what you are up against. I'm not usually crabby but I'm so tired of people hurting "us" about this stuff needlessly and honestly, I think the farther away we get from this experience we too may end up saying something stupid to a sister who has undergone the procedure. You just forget how sometimes, some parts of this can be brutal! And time fades the memory.....kind of like how you forget how tough labor and delivery was so you get pregnant again!
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10-24-2006, 08:58 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 207
Hysterectomy: September 21st, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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People just hurt my feelings...
Lynette, you have every right to be angry at comments made regarding your recovery.
Once thing I have learned from this site is that we each are recovering at our own paces. We are each different.
I too am taking my sweet time and there were a couple times where I felt so good I did too much and believe me, it took a couple days to get better and it does set you back. I learned me lesson quickly and thank goodness not in a serious way.
I have people making comments to me and I just tell them that if they could look inside me they would see a million little people working overtime making sure I am healing up good in there. We only get one chance for a safe and strong recovery - lets take it.
Be safe, be happy and enjoy your days relaxing and healing.
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10-24-2006, 09:46 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 79
Hysterectomy: August 17th, 2006
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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People just hurt my feelings...
I know exactly how you feel! My sister-in-law had a hysterectomy about 2 years ago and is always comparing her recovery to mine. She had a very quick recovery with NO problems and mine has been slower. I also had an infection at 2 weeks that put me back in the hospital. I was only off work 7 weeks and have been working full time since. Of course she was commenting again Sat. how slow I must be healing because she was back to work at 4 weeks. She also can't believe that I still have some pain and fatigue. She says I should no longer be in pain. How would she know, she's not a doctor and everybody is different, but she does hurt my feelings when she says these things. My husband who is very supportive always comes to my defense. Hurray for Husbands!! Oh yeah, she said I shouldn't come to this site because it is just people sitting around feeling sorry for themselves. Little does she know how much info. is really shared here. I love this site and will return daily. A place we can go where sisters TRULY understand!
JoLynne 0
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10-24-2006, 11:03 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 360
Hysterectomy: September 21st, 2006
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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People just hurt my feelings...
My MIL had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago. She had the vertical incision and was about 54 at the time. She had her surgery in the morning and was up drinking tea in the afternoon. My experience was vastly different. Everyones surgery is different and we all recover in our own time. She hasn't said anything negative to me at all so that is good but I just wish my experience had been as good as hers. She feels guilty that she gave me the impression it was easy and then I had such a difficult time.
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10-24-2006, 11:37 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 96
Hysterectomy: September 18th, 2006
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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People just hurt my feelings...
I had a TVH also on Sept 18th. My 6-week check up is next wednesday and I am not really sure I am ready to go back to work. Not that I have a job to go back to though. I have to do the job hunting thing since I lost my job before I had surgery due to endo pain, heavy period and cysts that made me feel so crappy. My husband keeps making comments about me finding a job, and I know he means well because we really need the money, but I am not sure I can handle 8 hour days, even at a computer. Not to mention the mental work that it takes that I have to do. I can't even remember small stuff some days, what happens when I go back to work and can't remember something big?...lol Just because we don't have incisions to heal on the outside, like someone else commented, doesn't mean that we don't have stuff on the inside still healing. Just walking around too much, staying on my feet too long is still causing me to ache. My energy level comes and goes. I wouldn't listen to anyone, but yourself and your own body.
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10-24-2006, 06:19 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 44
Hysterectomy: September 12th, 2006
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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People just hurt my feelings...
I liken this phenomena to some of the new stay-at-home moms I met when my daughter was young (and I wasn't). All I'd hear about was how they were chomping at the bit to get back to their careers or thinking of starting their own businesses....
I think in both cases, it's insecurity. People don't want to sound weak. They approach healing as laziness.
Frankly, I'm with you. We only get one shot at healing. Listen to your doctor and stand your ground (or at least recline comfortably on it).
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