Need sister support! Blisters--possibly herpes?!?!

Good grief...I just got back from the ob/gyn, where he painfully :eyes: swabbed the blisters that popped up within the last few days. He hinted at, very carefully, that the blisters could indicate herpes, but only when the results come back on Monday will we know for sure.

I'm scared! :cry:

My husband and I have been married for 25 years, and we have definitely been monogamous!
However, the doc did say because of my extreme stress level before, during and after my hyst (June 30th) that my immune system could have been so low, that the virus, which normally lays dormant for any number of years, could have found it's way to make my life miserable. He also said I may not have had a normal course of chicken pox when I was a child, which could explain the shingles episode I had two years ago.

Right. It's just that word...."herpes". Help me, dear sisters...right now I just don't know what to think, or how to tell my husband. The doc did give me enough samples of Valtrex to last me until Monday, when the culture should come back.

Any words of advice, dear friends?

Mary

Mary:

The only advise I can give you is to stay calm about it. I have friends with this, and honestly, the more you educate yourself, the better your life will be. I know it will be hard to tell your husband, but being that you've been married 25 years, I hope he'll be supportive. There is so much information out there, more then your doctor will release initially. A lot of men are carriers, and never show symptoms. Does your husband ever get cold sores? I know this may sound bold, but if he does, and has had oral sex w/you, then you stand a chance of contracting herpes that way as well. Now that you have "symptoms", educating yourself on what medications are out there is a great idea. Stress will definitely bring it on. This won't change your life all that much. I think it's more of the thought of having an STD that is scarier. The blisters may be uncomfortable, but they can be treated quickly w/cream or oral medication. You shouldn't have intercourse ever when you have symptoms. And, remember, there are millions of other people who have this, and there's nothing wrong w/you as a person. I actually know couples who have had this "pop" up during their relationship, and have dealt with this sucessfully. Anyway, not a lot of great advise there... but I just wanted to send you a hug, and say "it'll be ok". It's honestly just a minor inconvenience.

Dear Cdogger,

I'm sorry for what you're going through and the anxiety it's causing. What you're experiencing sounds a lot like shingles. I too have shingles and was devastated by the word "herpes". It carries a negative connotation often associated with sexually transmitted disease, promiscuity, infidelity, etc. Rarely do people think chicken pox/herpes. Anyhow, stay calm. Wait for the results and then, if it is shingles, get informed for peace of heart and mine (yours and your DH's).

Interestingly enough the only time I ever had shingles break-outs was before and during my period, especially if I was stressed (which I usually was due to "killer" periods and later the fear of bleeding to death). Since the hysterectomy in May I've not had a shingles breakout or the nerve pain. I'm hopeful that it's gone for good.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Platypus

I developed blisters at 3 weeks Post Op that were a reaction to the tape they used on the incision. It could be that. Totally painless. The doc said to just leave them alone and they will go away.

I'm sure that hearing those words from your doctor were a big shock. As has already been pointed out, lots of people deal with this situation successfully within a relationship. Of course, if you test positive, your husband simply MUST be tested, whether he has ever noticed symptoms or not. Educating yourselves on all aspects is the first step to dealing with it.

But, don't panic. There's always a chance that the test will come back negative and its something else altogether, right?

In the meantime, try to keep it in perspective. Not to minimize, I've heard that herpes can be quite painful and inconvenient. Back in the late 70s when I first became "active", the big fear was syphillis or gonorrhea. I'd been married a few years when AIDS first reared its head and both my husband and I quickly counted on our fingers and realized we'd been married longer than the risk had been know to exist. (When it first hit the news they said "five years" - we'd been married for 7)

So, at least herpes isn't deadly...right? Am I reading your post correctly that this might be shingles instead? That wouldn't be any picnic either, but at least it would be less emotionally complicated in your relationship with your husband.

Personally, in my marriage, I would tell my DH right away, including the fact that nothing is conclusive until the culture comes back. He and I have a straightforward approach of discussing whatever is on our minds, and I know I wouldn't be able to NOT talk about it until Monday...he'd know something was eating at me. Good, bad or indifferent, we've been very good about being able to deal with life's issues side by side. I don't envy you the conversation whether you have the discussion tonight or wait til Monday - either way wouldn't be easy.

Meanwhile, you have prayers that all will be well.

I know it sounds terrible, but the lesions can come from someone that has cold sores. Here is some information from the National Institute of Health Herpes Simplex

I have had cold sores on my lips since I was 4 years old. They erupt when I get a sunburn, or am under extra stress. Like right before a vacation
Since the virus is inactive at times, but remains in the nerves, I think it could be possible to transfer them through sexual activity without knowing it. Some people are just more susceptible-my DH has never had any cold sores. I am just getting over the shingles-which is a different type of herpes simplex. But I think it shows that I am more prone to reactivating those types of virus'. The article also says that between 50 and 80% of us have the antibody for herpes virus-which means most have been exposed. It doesn't mean we are all being intimate with others-the virus can be shed from one person without you knowing it.
I hope the article makes you feel better, and less confused than before.

All of you who have responded have warmed my heart more than words can say! Thank you so much! You are all angels of comfort!

Just by what (and how) my doc spoke to me about the possible prognosis being herpes, I kinda have a feeling that this just may be that...brought on by the severe stress of surgery and hospitalization.

When I got shingles two years ago, it was during another very stressful time in our marriage, when I found out my husband had been gambling ---ALOT.

I guess I will leave this whole thing in the hands of God, and trust in His plan for my life. And I daily thank Him for this web site and for friends like you guys!

Mary

When I was doing my pre-op with the primary care dr., she told me I had herpes also. That was not a pleasant thing to have to share with my DH or with the surgeon. Definitely makes you feel "dirty" and "cheap." My DH and I have been married 35 years and are also monogomous. The primary care Dr. gave me a heavy dose of meds and so far, they seem to be inactive. She also mentioned something about my immune system being compromised so might be more difficult to control. There are worse things in life, but that was quite shocking to say the least.

Cdoger,

Don't panic! I'm 6 weeks post op and had a reaccurance of the shingles last week. My doctor said it was because of the stress of the surgery and my immune system being lowered.

Any way...it sounds more like shingles if you have had it before. Is it in the same area as your last shingle outbreak? Mine is always in the same general area.

Best of luck