Hormones-1, Nicki-0

I can't seem to get a grip today.

DH told me today that this has been hard on him. HARD ON *HIM*. He can't wait until I'm back to my old self. He's upset that I'm going to the wake for his uncle tonight, sans kids- because I don't have to stay there long vs going to the funeral tomorrow (he works tonight and didn't want to take the time off) where I'd have to sit through a Catholic mass, luncheon and drive the the cemetary. He said, repeatedly "You know I hate funerals..." and I told him "I'm sorry, this is about what I can and can't physically do." He said it's interesting that I can find the energy to go into work for 2 hours (during which time I stood to work half the time because sitting felt icky- and I have only been there ONE TIME!!!!), and that I have energy to do dishes and laundry now and then- said it's like I pick and choose what I want to do.
HELLO!????
Now I'll sing his praises so that this isn't a husband bashing thread. He's working 2 jobs with whacked out hours. I make his lunch for him every day and make sure he gets enough sleep and gets to run etc. I'm doing everything I can to make it easy on him. He brings me a coffee in the morning, and drives the kids to school in the am. He vaccuumed yesterday. I am endlessly thankful for what he has done and what he does and I make sure to tell him that.
I feel sad and let down. I sure wish there were a soft place for me to fall when I'm really needing it. I am sure it's been hard on him but for 4 days now I've been full on duty to my 5 yo and 3 yo and working from home and doing too ****ed much as is. BOO HOO. Stupid hormones. I want a wife.
Thanks for listening.

ohtobeahayes

Girl just take a deep breath and do what you can. This is your recovery and only you can say what you can and can not do . Sending you some relaxation vibes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(((ohtobeahayes))) I found that staying in my pajamas all day, only changing into clean pajamas after showering, was a very successful strategy during those first few weeks. The problem is, once you start getting all dressed, going to work (even for a short time), doing laundry, etc, you get yourself on a 'slippery slope' ... and also it gives others the impression that you are fair game for their demands when in fact you are not.

s,
-Linda

I second that Linda! My MIL warned me "once you're back, you're back" even I'd if you still aren't feeling "back" if they see you doing normal stuff, getting back to your routine, you're "back" to them. It's not easy for the world to see that you still have limits and will still have bad days. Some days laundry, dishes and work may be a breeze, other days you may not feel like getting out of bed! Tell him that! Post-op hyster is just that way!

You both sound overwhelmed. Take a deep breath and relax. I totally get what you mean. Wish I had better answers for you! Just explaining to him what you said here and telling him you're not fully "back" even though you're trying may help.

((((HUGS))))

Love you guys.

I'm struggling, and I know it's hard on him too. Like I mentioned, he has 2 jobs, so I'm on my own with the 4 kids, but 2 are in school all day. Some days are better than others. I just felt so let down that here I've thought that I'm doing a rockstar job recovering. I feel pretty good most of the time, and I'm managing to keep the kids from starving to death for breakfast, lunch dinner and snacks, we're clean, and the house isn't a pigsty, and to find out that he's still overwhelmed...oh, it just made me feel really sad. And of course the hormones don't help in the least!!!!!
Thank you for the shoulders and reminders!!! I'm on my island of self preservation. I will take good care of myself!