been really depressed today...

Never thought I would be so down... cried most of the day! I found out that a friend of mine is pregnant who is a year older than me... hit me so hard I could not imagine. I knew going in to this that I would be upset some because I always wanted children but accepted the fact that I did not want cancer- so with all of my problems I accepted that the doctor said this was my only option... since drugs and othe surgery options were not helping. I cried some before- but nothing like today. I found out this morning and all day I have been upset and teary eyed. I hate this!

Will it ever get easier? I wanted children and this lady has two kids in college? It is like an ironic joke to me... I could not even speak when I was told by a person that did not even realize how it would affect me. My best friend called as soon as she found out I had found out- to ask me if I was ok- she would not tell me because she thought I would get upset. Well, I did- even though I should not have.

Had total hysterectomy with ovaries (BSO I believe) last wednesday sept 21st- so really touchy... hormones I can blame.

I know I am running on and on- but I so want to scream. This lady is a fellow teacher and I get to see for the next seven months her joy...fun- right? I can work with kids all day long- but for some reason this really has hit a nerve. Going to take an ambien and see if I can finally sleep-

(((((dawn2sea)))))

Totally understandable. The first 7-10 days after my surgery, I was an emotional wreck... cried over everything and nothing. I think that's normal. It's major surgery AND our hormones are all whacked out. I don't have kids either, and I used to want a baby desperately... so I get that. Even though I'd accepted a few years ago that it's just not in the cards for me, there's something so final about having surgery remove every last shred of possibility.

I understand what you are going through. I have never been able to get pregnant either. I did cry alot after the surgery for a few days. My doc put me on Hrt's a week after surgery. It would have been worse i think if I hadn't already been on antidepressants. I have two step children and 1 grandson and another on the way. If I wasn't apart of their lives, I would have handled this surgery alot worse. My daughter and grandson live with us and it has been a joy having them here and a big help. I have found that being apart of a baby's life has made it alot easier for me to handle not having children of my own. I hope this has helped some if not I am so sorry. Here's to happy healing and hope things get better for you.

Oh my dear sister. I have no good words other than to offer my condolences. I am sorry for your loss. It's okay to grieve. When you are feeling stronger, it's okay to scream, too. I can't take away your pain, but I will defend your need to express it any way you need to, and be a virtual shoulder you can vent on whenever it gets to be too much.
Healing thoughts and prayers to you.

I too am a teacher and I understand your pain...no natural children for me either and I had my hysterectomy 4 and a half weeks ago...I cried non-stop for two days in the first week...I tried so hard to keep my womb but it became life threatening for me...in the last 9 months I had to have two blood transfusions I am thinking of you...I think we're going througha very similar story...I have been so happy for those teachers having babies at my school but it is such a hard thing to see their tummies grow!! I am here for you if you want to talk...I still have moments where I feel such emptiness...but life is precious and we are so lucky to have it I guess...we could be worse off...that's what I keep telling myself...