Looking for sisters

I can't find any recent threads on this, so am starting a new one. I am one week away from an LSH, with endo, adeno, fibroids, and a tipped uterus. I feel strongly that action would have been taken a long time ago by the docs if I had had two of the big symptoms: pain with intercourse and infertility. Uh--sorry if TMI, but how exactly would I know these things? My story is posted elsewhere, so I will just sum it up by saying "lotsa pain for a really long time." I can't even tell you how many times I have been to the ER and the GP and the OB/GYN and the GI-it was actually my psychotherapist who suspected endo and urged me to pursue it with the docs. Well, 10 years later I am finally taking the trip to the castle. I don't have a partner right now. I am pretty sad about this, because I feel that the illness has in some ways prevented me from seeking out a relationship. I can barely commit to my regular work and social engagements most of the time because I never know how I will be feeling. It didn't feel fair to me or anyone else to ask someone new to take on the challenges of a partner with a chronic illness. Anyhoo, getting back on the dating scene is Priority Numero Uno post-surgery. I am out to my family and they met alot of my out friends the last time I had surgery so no worries there. This whole experience just makes me think of the ways that gays and lesbians are vulnerable in these situations and how important it is to make our wishes known in writing and make it clear to everyone who you want making your decisions for you if need be and who you want informed about your care. Luckily, I live in Massachusetts so it is a little better here since you can legally get married. Not the case in many other places. Any other sisters out there who can relate? Jen

It didn't feel fair to me or anyone else to ask someone new to take on the challenges of a partner with a chronic illness.



Dear Texan at Heart, alone is alone regardless of your sexuality.

Hey a Boston chick!!!! Woohoo I am from MA but currently live in NH - yes I (sometimes) wear flannel now (hee hee)!!!!

First off don't get to excited as I am not a lesbian, but I needed to send you a and let you know you are not alone!!!!

I am lucky that I have a very supportive DH, so I cannot imagine going through this without him... but one of my biggest rocks has been my girlfriends!!! It sounds like you have a pretty good support system and you won't have the added pressure of not being out so that is good.

As far as what you have had to go through it is just ridiculous!!!! I remember going to a comedy show and there was a female (gay) comic and she was telling us this hilarious story of going to the ER and they are asking her all these questions like when was your last cycle and what do you use for protection... she was like I have no idea it comes and goes.... as for protection we don't use sperm!!!!! OMG she was so funny!!!!! I could also relate because my husband had a vasectomy a few years ago and I have to do the same thing every time myself!!!!! I remember one Dr asked me how I knew he was sterile…. I told her because I paid for it!!!! The nurse laughed out loud!!!!! Just thought it portray the differences in what you go through and that others can relate.

As for the whole infertility thing I know, we don't have kids and had already planned to not have them so I had that hurdle to get over too.. Thankfully my current GYN (who is doing the surgery) is very understanding about that issue - I have had some serious issues with that choice in my life... I guess I am trying to le you know that I know what it feels like to be looking from the "fringes" of society. Being a childless couple we are often ostracized....

I know how it feels to not want to go out and do anything and how it can affect your work, but seems like you have a good attitude about getting back out there afterward!!! I think a lot of us are looking forward to returning to LIFE after this is all over, I know I am!!!! How great will it be to not have to worry about what week it is and when the pain will hit……?

Sorry this ended up being so long but wanted to let you know there are women out here who understand regardless of their sexual preferences, we are all in this together…. Good luck and keep in touch…

Hi Jen,

Many women recover from their hysterectomy without help by family or friends. I know it doesn't sound like the best situation for you but you will find much support here at hystersisters for managing your recovery and finding support!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by FleurDallas Dear Texan at Heart, alone is alone regardless of your sexuality.

I concur.

We ask our members to not divide themselves based on religion, education, sexual preference, married or not, childless or not.

To be alone is to be alone. To be in need of support for your hysterectomy is the same no matter your religion, country, education or sexual preference.

If you are a woman with a uterus in need of removal or fixing, you are in the right place.

And why should your quality of life be any different that someone in a heterosexual relationship? You deserve a great life, just the same as every other woman on this earth

OMG.. Ok I know you are all going "oh no not another looooooong post from JDog" but... Texan I just read your initial post from New Members and WOW!!!! I have been having similar thoughts the last week or so.... what if they get in there and find nothing out of the ordinary?????!!!!! or what if they get in there and it is a horrendous mess and they have to take both ovaries????? (I am hoping to keep at least one!!)

I am not sure which would be worse, probably them not finding anything and this is all for nothing!!!!! And I will still have pain, cramps and Flo.....

Wow, what kind and loving responses I have received on this post. Thank ya'll so much (I can even type in a Texas accent!) I have no intent to divide, just looking for some folks who might have some shared experience from this end of the looking glass. Being alone, finding loving partners who will truly understand and support us, dreaming of a little backrub at 3 am when the tears get to be too much, a hand to hold-yes, these are human experiences, not exclusive to any sexual persuasion. I absolutely feel the support of this community and am so thankful to have found a place for a little cyberspace handholding. Bless you all. Jen

Not entirely related but My surgery is 1 day after yours. Having LSH as well. It is just such a new surgery. The are removing 1 ovary and my uterus. I am not as nervous about the surgery as the recovery. We can support each other via email.

Dear Texan,

My dear friend Shelli was in the same boat you are in. Legally she couldn't marry her partner here in IL and her hysterectomy came as quite a surprise to her (they were trying for their second child). I know that she had everything set up before she went in and though her family had never really understood her, I am certain that they would have supported her desires as if they were legally married.

I felt completely alone before my hysterectomy but the women here made me realize that no matter who is lying in my bed next me (or not lying there) I would never be alone because I have everyone here!!

You are my sister and I do not judge on sexuality. I hope that you find here what I did.