Can't help feeling nervous....

My surgery is tomorrow, 8/08, and I am feeling a little nervous. Not so much about the surgery but about the lack of family support that I will have. I have two sons, an 18yr old & a 16yr old. My older son seems not to want to be bothered by my situation. My younger one has autism and doesn't really comprehend. I don't have a husband or a boyfriend; therefore, I feel I have no one to lean on for support. That has always been a huge fear of mine.....if something "big" happened in my life, that I wouldn't have that close and caring support. Here I am about to go through something "big" and my fear is true. I'm hoping to find hope, support and maybe even a hug from my hyster-sisters.

Your oldest son may be terrified and just pretending to not be interested in it so he doesn't have to deal with his fears. In his mind he's the man of the house and may fear if something bad happens to you he has to take over. At 18 he may be scared out of his mind so It's easier to pretend it's no big deal and you'll be fine.I'd say as a Mom your better to let him think it is no big deal until after it's over and you come home from the hospital. Once your home you can sit him down and explain your restrictions in detail and tell him what you need from him as far as help. I wouldn't push the issue right now.I have a 24 year old son ( lives on his own not with me) . The day after my surgery his girlfriend told me that he was scared out of his mind for weeks thinking I had cancer or was going to die during surgery. He never let on to me that he was worried at all. Just acted like it was routine surgery. You'd be surprised what crazy thoughts go into their young minds.
:cathugs:

I'm so sorry that you are going through this alone!! I sure hope your oldest can pitch in and help you!! I'm sure he is scared too and men don't deal with fear very well. I agree with Cathy that he may just acting like he doesn't care so he doesn't let on that he is worried.

You came to the right place for support and definitely HUGS!!!

and there are more where that came from!!!

BellaMari,
I have a 14 yr old who is Autistic as well (Asperger's) so i understand where you're coming from on that one big time- they just don't have the capactiy to understand, and since there is a major change in atmosphere, it sends them into their own tailspin. fortunately for me, i have already talked to my ex, and we have decided to change the visitiation days for the week of and after so that my son is with him, which will be best all around....

do you have extra services for him like respite care that could take him if needed? hang in there!
((((hugs))))

Hi BellaMari, my heart goes out to you that you don't have the family support that you need. I wish that I was near you so that I could give you a big hug. Since Im not please accept this vurtual one from me. (((((HUG)))))

Do you have a neighbor, church congregation or coworker that could help you. Before I was discharged from the hospital, they had someone check to make sure that I had someone at home to help me when I got there. Check with the hospital to see if they offer services or can refer you to a service or agency to help you when you get home. Do you have someone to look after your 16 yr old
As far as your 18 yr old, it could possibly be that he is scared. We are the strong ones and nothing is ever supposed to happen to us. He doesn't know how to handle it. Unfortunately he doesn't have the option of pretending that he doesn't want to be bothered
You need him.
Sit him down remind him of your family dynamics. Explain to him that you need him to help you. That you know that it is lot to ask of him, but you are counting on him to help as much as possible . He knows that it's just the three of you and I believe that he will up to the plate and be there for his family.
This may seem like an impossible situation, but The Lord will never leave you or forsake you and He will make a way.

Father in the mighty name of Jesus, I know that you are able. Please bring the powerful possibilities of heaven to this earthly situation. Touch it with your grace and might. You are the God who created all things from nothing so Lord you can surely handle this. All things are possible through you. I thank you Lord for you are indeed marvelous and You never fail. In Jesus name Amen

Lots of ((HUGS)) to you

Thank you sooooo much ladies!! I appreciate your words of encouragement more than you know. I will take your advice & then just put it in God's hands. Hugs to you my Sisters!!

I am not sure of your details but I found that I did pretty well on my own quickly. I almost wished my husband would go back to work. He meant well but did not make the meals, clean the house and do the things he said. He mostly got on my nerves, played on the computer and watched tv. That made me feel really bad and I felt frumpy. Get things ready as much as possible to be able to function. Making meals ahead and looking at the post on here about peparing will help a lot.

It's normal to feel nervouus. You've come to the right place for support, BellaMari! So many great women here that are so encouraging: we've got this! Oh, and wandatd had good advice, about enlisting some help from your neighbors/church/work community. There are so many people with a servant's heart that would love to be there. All the best to you for tomorrow!