what can I expect????

New to this... I'm terrified. I really don't know what to expect. Surgery in 6 days. I'm very worried about the recovery time. I'm a single Mom of teenage daughters (busy w/school and jobs) I will have help for about 5 days. I'm self employed (REALTOR) ...not working means not making any $$$$$$. Boyfriend is a work-a-holic (also in Real Estate) He's never been married and really can't understand any of this (thinks alot of the pain is in my head) (can't understand WHY we are not having sex everyday)( Which has caused a lot of guilt on my part) I've had 2 rounds of Lupron injections, been taking various pain killers for years, been through 2 lazer surgerys and have gained 60 pounds. I can't focus on my work, my family, I've chewed my fingernails to the quick..... I'm a reck. Any advice?
Suzanne.

Hi, Suzanne. First of all, I'm new to this as well (considering that I am only nine days post-op). However, as to the pre.....

It depends on what type of surgery you're having as to what to expect. Mine was uterus only, vaginal. The actual surgery took only 45 minutes, and I was home the next evening. I arrived two hours prior to surgery, they began an I.V. with a little antibiotic; luckily I had the most compassionate, comforting surgery nurse who took away all fear on the way in; as soon as the happy anesthesia was introduced I was out, then woke up in recovery. The pain wasn't too terrible, and they gave meds through self-administer in my I.V. after. To be truthful, removal of the catheter was the worst of it. It was really difficult not using the abdominal muscles for the first few days, but you get used to this (strengthens your arms and legs).

Nine days after, and I really feel pretty good. I've been walking rather extensively (as to what I would have expected), and the doc said that this will help a lot. Yesterday I did over do it a little, but just took it easy for the evening and recovered. I phoned my doctor and they said that I should be able to return to work (I had planned to in another week and a half - three weeks post-op) providing I don't do too much, and have the opportunity to rest if needed.

But listen. It sounds as if you are as stressed and worried about slowing down as I was. It really is difficult. However, it is imperative that you take the time to recover (like all those wonderful women who responded to my post told me about enduring recovery!). I have paid special attention to a good diet, taking my vitamins, walking, and resting. Not that I haven't had any depressive episodes due to the limitations imposed by recovery, but my husband has been very supportive.

As for help with the recovery....my doc was sure to tell me not to be left alone for the first 24-48 hours. The only thing I was concerned about was the house and children. But if you have teens, they are - for the most part - self sufficient, yes? Please let them take care of them. You need to focus on you. Don't worry about the house. Not working means not making any money - we all are experiencing that. However, like a respondent to my post said....don't let a moment of impatience set you back in recovery - because that could mean that you won't be back at your job for an even longer time. Please pay attention to post-op instructions about your limitations.

Addressing the issues with your boyfriend...it's unfortunate that he's not so understanding about what you are going through. If he doesn't have time to read a book about it, then give him your surgery information packet to read over. And/or, have him speak with your doctor. Of course your pain is real....and truly, only another woman can understand and empathize with what you are experiencing. However, he does need to get a clue and be as supportive as ever...because obviously, this is causing you added, needless stress.

Anyway, please take care...and know that you're not alone in all this. Hopefully many others will respond and set you at ease. Feel free to email. Aleks

Hi Suzanne Welcome to Hyster Sisters. I'm so glad you found us: this is the best place to get both information and lots and lots of support.

The first thing you have to do is BREATHE. Take deep breaths.

Ok, now that you have calmed down a little, know that it is perfectly normal to feel scared, concerned and anxious when you're about to face such a MAJOR surgery. One thing you will realized though, is that the waiting is the worst part.

Of course your ailments are not in your head: your doctor would not be considering an hyster if he/she hadn't diagnosed something serious enough to warrant it. As I mentionned earlier, it IS a major surgery. In fact, it sounds like you've already been through the runner, with all those other surgeries and treatments.

It's very hard for some men, even some women, to understand how intense these symptoms can be and what an impact they can have on our quality of life. In fact, it really only AFTER I had my hyst that I realised how bad my quality of life was

In order to help you in preparing for your hyst, you can Search the site, using keywords in order to find more about specific issues. You can also check the Pull-Down menus, available at the bottom of the Hyster Sisters Home Page. One thing that also helped me, a lot, was reading the Princesses Tell Their Stories message board: all those positive, and even the not-so-positive, stories helped me forge a realistic view of what was ahead.

As far as recovery goes, initial recovery from a hyst is 6 to 8 weeks. That's because it is major surgery and there are a lot of internal stitches that require healing. Even though this is in fact a very long time, it is imperative that you keep in mind that you only have one chance to heel properly.

You can have your BF read these message boards and the testimonials from other women. That will help him understand what you are going through now and what your recovery is going to be like.

Best of luck.

Your fears and feelings are so normal...don't think you are losing it because you are having them!! This is major stuff, and if you weren't freaking out a bit, we'd all be worried about you! So much of our fear comes from not knowing what to expect...we can help you with all of that!!!

Dany is right about reading all the pull down menus and stories...just reading about other women's real experiences will give you a good idea of what the options are and what you can reasonably expect. And I wholeheartedly agree about having your boyfriend read the site, too...print things out for him if you can't get him to the computer.

With some good planning and help from your girls, you will manage. But don't think you can jump up and show houses....uh uh! You will need to rest, feet up, and do NOTHING for at least 6 to 8 weeks. Follow your doctor's orders, and give yourself the chance to heal...we only get to do that once.

And as for it being in your head....doctors don't often do major surgery, nor do insurance companies pay for it, if it's in your head. So put that stuff OUT of your mind, girl!

We'll get you through this....sending you big hugs!!
{{{{HUGS}}}}

Karen