Do your Men understand your op

My man of 25 years hates talking womans things , periods labour ect. And this op is another but I am well aware that my friends men are more understanding than mine even my partners 27 year old nephew understands. You see the other day I made a comment that my nails seemed so much better these past 4 weeks since my TAH op ovaries left in as my nails have been cracking, splitting for ages. His reaction was why would this op help your iron? So i said that I would not be bleeding anymore to which he said oh. I didn't know that. So that means your iron will improve so you can go to the gym. His concern is that I lost energy to train to keep fit for him. But if he hadn't got a flirt he fell for 3 years back then I would not be down the gym 5 days aweek back then on the hope he would not leave. Anyway it worries me that however caring he is now that a 43 year old man does not know what a Hyst means

My man has no choice, I force-feed him endless facts about my female troubles LOL. No, really he's been great about taking care of the house, the pets, the kid- but his care for me lately has been bringing me stuff but not alot of huggy-time. I think he's afraid he'll hurt me.

Believe it or not there are some women that don't seem to understand what a hysterectomy will do. During our pre-op chat, my OB/GYN told me that she had to clarify several things no matter how silly it might seem, as I seemed very well informed. However, I realized what she meant when she looked me square in the eye and told me that I would never have another period and that I would never give birth to another child (I kept my ovaries, so technically, if I were super-wealthy, I could technically have another biological child through a surrogacy). I stopped her and said surely you haven't had hysterectomy patients that thought they could still have another pregnancy? Yes, a couple had asked her during post-op how soon they could try to have another baby. And naturally, not via surrogacy. Amazing. She learned never to assume, I guess.

mine understands but a friend of mine her dh of 20 years who was also married before her did not know that women have a separate opening for a vagina, he thought it was like men, pee and have sex in the same hole LOL

My DH has really been amazing through everything. He went to every appt with me,stayed really late in the hospital with me and came back early (even sitting hours in a stupid folding chair) drove me all over after, cooked, laundry, dishes, etc. Now at 5 weeks I have been quite a bit but tonight when I went to move the cat from my seat he yelled at me to not pick up the cat because he was too heavy. I've been really impressed with how much he paid attention.

My husband worked at a Pediatrician's office through college, helped his mom as she went through Lupus, helped me with my mom and her MS before she got severe enough for a nursing home, so medical stuff does not bother him one bit. He read the booklet that I ordered from this site and has made me strictly follow all of my recuperation instructions. The only thing I am a bit bashful explaining are the BM issues (even after 20 years together!)- but he isn't fazed a bit by it. He was raised by quite an open, caregiving dad (who still dotes on us when we are facing an illness or injury and whom he still says "I love you" to when he gets off the phone... And he appears to be raising our boys as he was raised. My 13 and 11 year old boys took turns rubbing my head and back tonight as I waited on my fever to go down and tension headache to go away. My 6 year old daughter came in to my room to give the occasional kiss and "Love you, Mom" but spent most of the evening watching TV in the livingroom- she is VERY uncomfortable being around anyone sick- especially if there is even a remote chance they may throw up! LOL!

Amy
LAVH- 1/31/2011

Wtpdf- Wow- it is scary how little some women know their own bodies!!!

Laurie- A hair more understandable that he was clueless about a woman's genitalia than a woman thinking she can still get PG after a hyster, but still pretty bad!

oh yeah i have a friend who asked me about if i could still get pregant after my hysterectomy.....LOL

my dh has been great, even giving up sex for 3 1/2 months, that was a biggie for him and i am still experiencing problems this far out so it is a trial for sure

i understand about the bm issues, i don't like talking about those either

I don't have or neither do I want a 'DH' so here how it is when your man is your

1. GBFF (gay best friend forever) - most of mine don't have much of a concept of lady parts. What I can say is that they have been really supportive and have listened when I told them what was happening to me. In fact, when I had a nasty attack of heavy bleeding last week, one of them was in the treatment room holding my hand, calming me down and helping me with language issues (I live in Mexico)

2. FWB (friend with benefits) - a very good friend and occasionally a bit more has been very supportive and even stayed at the hospital for the first two nights after my TAH. I had abnormal bleeding on the first night he was there changing my pads and keeping me calm. I have since then made jokes that I put the poor guy into counselling but really he was glad he was there to help. He also tells me off for trying to do too much like going for little walks etc..though did question why an operation on my vagina (as he sees it) affects my memory, my concentration and my moods so not sure how much he understands exactly what's going on here :-p

About pooing, I'm quite happy to discuss this with close friends and two were there to share in my happiness when I had my first post hysterectomy dump :-)

What I found after this operation, is that with my close friends here irregardless of gender, proximity and sexual orientation I've really got nothing to hide anymore

Veganchica- You crack me up!!! It's great that you have a support system surrounding you. It is true that after so many professionals have seen my parts over the years, I have definitely lost any modesty in that area. Still have trouble talking about pooping with my hubby, though.

Amy

Good to hear that I made you laugh here and I hope it hasn't hurt you. I used to hate watching comedies or hanging out with certain friends just after my op because it was just way too painful

I have noticed that most straight male friends have kind of disappeared since the op. They are clearly avoiding any discussion of ladies bits or they might think that a hysterectomy is contagious...who knows?