Deep Depression and Trying to Get Out

I am turning 26 next week and this is NOT supposed to happening to me! My significant other and I have tried and tried and after doctor after doctor and ER visit after ER visit and chemo and sickness and weakness and pain - I just cant do it anymore. I feel like I have been beaten until I am left with no choice! I have experienced 6 miscarriages over the past 3 years - I have been diagnosed with cancer and had to do 2 rounds of chemo, surgeries and other treatments to go into remission. But while in remission, I experience uncontrollable bleeding and extreme pelvic pain, ovarian cysts that need to be operated on and have been operated on, irregular and painful periods - and now my cancer is back with a vengance. I am a college student trying to get ahead in life, and part of that includes a family! Im drowning in medical bills, Im loaded on pain meds and other meds ALL the time, I cant live a normal life because I am so sick and weak and in pain and all the while this is going on, all I really want to know is WHY ME?! Im on antidepressants that arent working, I was raised in a home where your value as a woman lies with the ability to have a functioning uterus - which I wont have come 7/2! So, I lose my worth......WHY is this happening to me? NO ONE else my age that I know of has any like this ever happen to them or anyone they know.....Im just so sad AND so angry.....and I cant get past it.....

I am very sorry this has happened to you and I can attest that my hysterectomy has been a great decision for me. I am 37 and have never had children (I will adopt) and I am single an d on my own. I havent had your experiences but all I can say is have faith that this surgery will help you. Dont be angry and sad. You are young and have a long life ahead of you. You are alive and havent given up. You are very strong to have gone thru this rollercoaster called LIFE and you get stronger every time. I commend you for surviving these situations. Keep your head up high and focus on getting thru this surgery just well. Best wishes.

First, I am so sorry about what is happening to you. But, your worth as a woman is NOT tied to having a uterus. You are a valuable person regardless of having a hysterectomy. It really sounds like you need someone to talk to about this. Do you have a psychiatrist or gp that is prescribing the antidepressants? Those can have lots of side effects and if they aren't working, something else needs to be tried. I hope you have a counselor, doctor, friend, clergy,etc that you can talk to . I would strongly suggest if you don't have someone to talk to that you find someone. It sounds like you may be overwhelmed by all of this and no wonder. You have gone through a lot and it is natural to be feeling the effects of this. There are different meds that can help the depression but you have to let your docs know what is going on. Don't hesitate to go to the ER if the depression worsens. Does you significant other know how badly you are feeling? If not, tell them. They need to know so they can take you to the ER is necessary so you can get help. Sending hugs and support for you through this difficult time.

I hear your pain and and am so sorry that you are hurting. I am 39. My partner and I have unsuccessfully tried to have children over the years. I never will unless I adopt. My LAVH was on June 1, 2012. Whereas I am not as young and I have not traveled your journey, I honor and respect the road you have survived and your spirit for surviving it. Your worth is NOT tied to your uterus, no matter who has told you that. You are so much more. Your uterus does not make you a woman. I have to remind me of that every day. It has helped me to work with a therapist through this process. It doesn't remove the pain, but it has helped provide me with tools to work through the anger, disappointment and hurt.

May you be granted a good night sleep and whatever most you need right now. Hang in there.