Concerned about sex after hysterectomy

I am scheduled for a TAH on April 3 with removal of an ovary that was cauterized and the tube cut during an abalation procedure 3 weeks ago. The DNC was done and the biopsy came back that I have hyperplasia with atypia in 3 different significant areas of my uterus so an abdominal hysterectomy was recommended. They will remove my cervix. I am concerned about sex with my husband because I have read they will sew up my cervix. He is well endowed and I am worried that it will be to much for me to handle. I know I need to ask my doctor about this ( and I still will) but I was wondering if anyone else has broached this subject with their Dr. and what was the answer.

wow, I had the same fears. I asked some friends and they said you actually get MORE room
we tried the waters alittle bit last weekend but both of us were too afraid to "poke a hole through" lol Right before my surgery I asked the doctor about that and he really didn't know what to say, so he must never have been asked that!! I just passed my fourth week, can't wait for that 6 week check up take care

Thanks so much for the quick response! I guess I am still shell shocked. I went in for a simple answer to heavy periods and three weeks later I have had an abalation and now a hysterectomy scheduled. I do not want to trivialize the importance of why I am going in for the hyst but I do want to return to some since of my normal self by the summer. I like sex and it is making me nervous reading some of the stories I have read so far.

I was worried too, we're both "horndogs" lol, both from italian families, so you can imagine how worried I was! I can assure you that I still have the big OOOO hehe, even tho he hasn't ventured very far in there! My initial problem was heavy never ending periods too, then abnormal cells on the cervix that had to be frozen off, then my mom got ovarian ca, which runs very strongly in families, and on and on! She's fine now, chemo on and off for 2 years and she's gained weight again good luck, your surgery is 3 days b4 my bday!

Hi NitroxDiver,

This is a really good question that you should discuss thoroughly with your doctor.

I only asked two questions before my surgery, "Will this effect my sex life?" and "Are you SURE this won't effect my sex life?" My doctor gave me the old story about sex being better than ever and some silly story about still having the "playpen" but not having to worry about the baby. Well, as it turns out, he was full of baloney.

What my doctor did NOT ask me was what kind of orgasm I had, what kind of sex I enjoyed or anything at all about my partner. What I found out, too late, was that my orgasms were all uterine and cervical. No clitoral at all. Actually, I knew that the clitoris wasn't involved in my orgasms but I didn't think that would matter because I did not expect him to take my cervix, which was a HUGE part of my orgasmic experience.

I was pushed into my hysterectomy because of a cancer scare, which turned out to be not the case at all for me. But I can sure empathize with the hard decision you now face.

About the size . . . I hate to report that my BF was also well endowed and after my surgery, he could no longer fit. Besides the shortened vagina, I had a lot of nerve damage, rectocele and other complications. Because sex played more of a role in our relationship than anything else, we did not survive this surgery as a couple.

Several doctors have told me I was of "normal" length and there should not be a problem. When I told another doctor, a woman, what those doctors told me, she said, and I quote, " There shouldn't be a problem. IF I wanted a relationship with a man with a teeny, tiny weeny!" (She was pretty disgusted with what had been done to me.)

This whole thing *****, I know. I wish I could say, "Don't worry, everything will be fine," but the truth is, it may not and you should know everything going in. It's horrible waking up and finding out that your doctors were less than forthcoming. So my advice would be to measure your husband, mark it on a sex toy or something and show your doctor what your concerns are. Also, do some serious "testing" and find out exactly what kind of orgasms you have now and also discuss these details with your doctor. If you are the kind of woman who only has clitoral orgasms, then you may do just fine. If you are the kind that only has uterine orgasms, then, of course, when that organ is removed . . . well, you know. But by ALL means, talk, talk, talk about this with your doctor! Before surgery. And if your doctor can't or won't talk to you about it now, reconsider this doctor.

Speaking of, I hope you got a second opinion before consenting to surgery. This is extremely important. Not only for hysterectomy, but for ANY kind of surgery.

My heart goes out to you and I am wishing you all the best.

Hugs,

	Quote:
Originally Posted by freswench Right before my surgery I asked the doctor about that and he really didn't know what to say, so he must never have been asked that!!

I can assure you that your doctor has been asked this before and the answer is...YES....sexual activity before you are completely healed can tear your vaginal cuff and will send you back to the OR for more surgery.

You might want to read the Hystersister checkpoint for Post-Op Sex:

Post Op Sex

Hope this helps!

My understanding is that the average length of the vagina is 3-1/2 inches, which is considerably smaller than even an "average" erect penis. And as for circumference -- a tampon usually fits snugly, and a tampon is far smaller than a penis as well.

The vagina actually expands during the sexual excitement phase (or in other cases like childbirth when it needs to expand to accomodate). After sex (or childbirth, or whatever) is over, it goes back to its regular state.

I think there would have to be something pretty drastic going on for the vagina to be shortened enough for a person to notice it during sex.

However, as some of the (((sisters))) have noted, it is very important to discuss all of these things with your doctor, and to ask for the actual explanations. Don't accept a pat on the head and "It'll all be fine" as an answer, either. Since there's no way to predict whether you'll be one of the women who has or doesn't have problems, it's vital to be well informed before surgery.

As for me, I had a TAH and have had no problems having intercourse since my surgery. That isn't to say I didn't have to work at things, just as I did for many months after both of my children were born... But that's just my experience.

Nitrox,

Relax take a deep breath and hug yourself from me.

I started out with the exact same fears that you state. My BF is very well endowed and I am very serious about my sex life. I am lucky that I have a female GYN that is very open and willing to discuss everything. I too had to lose my cervix and had read that that was going to cause me to have no further orgasm.

My doc told me that she was "very good at what I do and I will do everything that I can to keep the length of your vagina intact." They obviously can't promise you anything because they have to get in there first.

I had tons of scar tissue, endo everywhere, enlarged uterus, mutiple tumors and cysts and my doc took her time and managed to do everything she needed to while still keeping my vagina as long as possible.

Now I am 2 months out and learning that my sex life is NO DIFFERENT. We did have to take it slow and use lube since my ovaries are gone too and vaginal dryness is a minor issue. We talked our way through it and went slowly and are having GREAT SEX.

I guess what I am saying is that really really really discuss with your doctor how important this issue is for you and if he/she brushes you off then go to someone else. Be proactive about your body as I am sure that you are and you will be pleasantly surprised hopefully like me/

BEst wishes and keep me posted.

Ok I read the Post Op Sex section of the website. That does help to read that. Thank you for the link.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by gcffpm Now I am 2 months out and learning that my sex life is NO DIFFERENT.

:bedjump:

Sounds good to me! Thanks for the reassurance.