HELP-why do I keep holding on?

Hi Ladies,

I am having great difficulty with life physically, and emotionally due to my gyno problems. I know I need surgery,but what kind? I am tired of living my life this way, that is, the quality of my life has deteriorated significantly since 1997. Although there have been many symptoms since my late teens, I have been getting worse in the last five to six years. I have a very strong family history of uterine and cervical cancers and problems, and I am 41 and have been told for too many years that I was "too young" to be going through this stuff! Give me a break! My cycles have a mind of their own as far as when I get them, I used to be like clockwork. My periods are longer and much heavier, the clotting is really bad, starts out kinda of light but goes on to be really heavy and painful and I am always so tired and irritable, but especially the week before my period. I feel like there is this internal pressure pushing on my insides going out. I can't function as well as I used to and I have given up alot of socialization due to embarrasment and pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2000. I have been on HRT since 1999, most recently on prempro. I had a D and C in Nov. 01, and found very large uterus and inflammation of the cervix. Not much else was said by my gyno doc. I see him on May 13. Boy do I have some questions for him. I don't want to lose any sexual feelings to my anatomy if I have surgery. I have a wonderfully passionate boyfriend, but he doesnt understand much about female internal parts. I have educated him some, but he looks at me in concern, better me than him I guess. I know I need to make decisions, and I have been reading this website as much as possible, but I still feel like I'm in the dark as to what all my symptoms mean and what to do with it. I am not able to have any more children due to previous surgeries(major tumor removed 1982 while five months pregnant-left ovary and tube taken out, right tube removed in 1991, cryogenic surgery on uterus, previous fibroids removed, lots of scar tissue and adhesions, right ovary viewed in 1991 and didnt look too good then). I have had lots of abnormal pap smears, and lots of "take this and call me in six months" kind of a thing. I want my life back! Can anybody help me in relating to these symptoms and what they went through, and I know I need support from women who "understand" what this is all about. Life is too short for me to keep living like this, I am scared of the surgery, and I am afraid it will maim my sexual parts. I have to admit I am tired of doing this alone, and I am reaching out for help, support, and information. God Bless!

I also went through several years of "take this and see if it helps", and being told I was "too young" to be having the problems I was. I trusted my doctor, and in hindsight it was a huge mistake. When my symptoms got so bad I couldn't work or enjoy much of the rest of life my useless doc referred me to one who actually listened and suggested solutions. My strongest advice to you would be to find a doctor who is concerned with helping you.

Has your doctor suggested a hyst at all, or just offered pills to "buy you some time"? (Time for what, I can't imagine, but "buying time" seems popular with a lot of doctors.)

If you are covered by an HMO, as I was/am, the doc's primary concern may be in keeping the costs of your care as low as possible, since they get a flat rate for dealing with you. Pills and *your time* are cheap, while surgery to get you back on your feet and healthy is expensive.

Unlike you, I was eager to have a hyst and get my life back. Women have a lot of issues about "holding on" to their reproductive organs. I sure didn't - get 'em out, now! But I can sympathize with those who do. As a practical matter, it's hard to imagine how your current situation could be helping you enjoy your sex life (or any other aspect of life). I can tell you everything is much happier for me now that I feel good all the time, am not bleeding two weeks out of every month, etc. Nothing is maimed, I promise.

Only you can decide when you are ready. Maybe writing a pros/cons list about going on like things are vs. having a hyst would help you. Look into the future - what will life be like in 5 years? 10 years? if you do/don't have a hyst? When you consider complications of surgery, be sure you also consider the "complications" of *not* having surgery - the impact on your health and quality of life (and relationships, and career). Maybe do some writing to yourself to help you get clear on the meanings (for you) of sugery/not. Get a second opinion about your options. It doesn't sound like your doctor has been very helpful in educating you about your situation. I'd be pretty jumpy about abnormal paps, too.

Good luck finding what's right for you!

Lorena,
I had just turned 40 by 12 days when I had my hysterectomy. My life had deteriorated physically and mentally so I can imagine how you are feeling.

My advice would be to get 2 more medical opinions. I have had no complications from my surgery and am thankful for this.

Please write down any questions you have for the docto and take the list in with you to the appointment. It's okay to take notes as to what the doctor says when your questions are answered. This way you won't forget to ask any questions that are of importance to you.

Please keep us posted as to how things turn out as YOU are the only one who can make a final decision.

Hugs,

Only you can make the decision to have a hysterctomy. It is your body and you have to live with the consequences. But I can tell you that there is a WONDERFUL LIFE after a hysterctomy. I am almost 8 months post and cannot believe how great life is. I feel wonderful. No pain , cramping, long periods. Every month I feel the need for chocolate and my breasts ache I can live with that. Other than that, that is it I mean how wonderful is that!


Take care and good luck with your decision

A lot of women feel if they lose the uterus, they are no longer women or sexual beings. Nothing could be further from the truth. The uterus serves a purpose, but if it is diseased or abnormal, it does not serve that purpose, nor does it enhance life for the woman.

You do not change externally, and the only thing that changes internally is that you don't have the pain, monthly problems, and worries about the future. Yes, there are concerns about hormones and there are herbals and HRT that can help with that.

I've also heard that the uterus serves a purpose in the feeling of well-being in a woman. I found just the opposite. When there is a problem in the uterus, it causes more problems. Since I had the surgery, I feel better, even during those first few weeks post.

I even talked to my GP about lowering the dose of my anti-depressant. Maybe the medical problems with my uterus caused part of the depression. I'll see in 2 weeks of half doses if I can give up that med completely.

Lorena,

Hi, I am dealing with similar stuff that you are, although I haven't had as many problems that you have had in your life. I send you my sympathy. Anyway, I have done the abnormal pap stuff and the fibroid stuff and now have to decide between a hysterectomy and a procedure where they just go in and take out the fibroid. Both require general anesthesia (sp?) which makes me really scared. I can't help but think why not do the whole job, considering both options are surgery. At least with the hyst. I will be done. No more worries etc. Also after reading the posts here I am feeiling better about this thought. Seems like the folks that have had their surgery feel really great, no regrets. So...I think I am headed towards the hyst. route. I have an appointment for a talk with my dr. tomorrow...so we'll see what happens!

Good luck to you...this is really hard isn't it?

Liz

Hi Lizzie,
As far as general anesthesia is concerned I think you need to ask you dr. about this. A lot of women on here including myself have been able to have spinal or epidural for anesthesia instead of general that doesn't require all the side effects of general. You could click on HorseWoman's post house button to read her story or this link to read mine. https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/sho...threadid=41676 I had a tvh (total vaginal hysterectomy) but know that if someone is having an Lavh or laporoscopic procedure the only choice for anesthesia is general due to the gas they use. I don't know about resection but maybe you could ask about epidural or spinal for anesthesia. Whatever your decision I wish you luck.