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Am I grieving - why am I crying?
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03-15-2012, 10:03 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 30
Hysterectomy: March 1st, 2012
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Am I grieving - why am I crying?
I had a successful partial hysterectomy (cervix and uterus). I won't go into details but I was up and about after a week. I should be happy and greatful. I cannot sleep, I am constantly crying (not hormonal) and have anxiety (will I be able to get back to work and be just as efficient or will people be inpatient). I alwmost didn't go through with the hysterectomy (reading too many "hysterectomies are mutilation by male doctors" articles) even though it was ruining my health.
Are these happy or sad tears --- ohhhhhh.
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03-15-2012, 10:50 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: February 29th, 2012
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
Ok- breathe. If it was ruining your health than you did the right thing for you, and you will be stronger, healthier, happier and more empowered and brilliantly feminine than you were before.
It isn't about what other people think, or their impatience or arrogant insensitivity. It isn't men vs women, or about anything else but YOU.
You will be fine- more than fine! Great! You will be well.
Even when keeping your ovaries, your hormones can (and usually do) go completely whackadoo for awhile. I know mine have- I've been so everywhere, I've basically rescinded my life changing decision making privileges because I know I'm dramatically off. Those hormones are almost definitely messing with your head right now, so cut yourself some slack.
These tears are just cleansing. Don't define them as happy or sad- they are just cleansing you to be able to handle the future.
You will be just fine.
If this doesn't pass after a few weeks (you are only 2 weeks post op- almost the same as me, and that's not much), then talk to your dr about getting some meds/counseling to help you through this for a few weeks. Since you can't sleep, try something to help you rest- it will help you feel better.
You'll be ok :-)
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03-15-2012, 11:09 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 30
Hysterectomy: March 1st, 2012
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
Thanks Everydaylou - I definitely know I made the best decision but expected the worst part of recovery would be physical - was thrown for a loop that it was the emotions! Lucky for me Hystersisters is open all night long!
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03-15-2012, 11:39 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 223
Hysterectomy: February 21st, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
I love you answer, everydaylou.
Hugs, Inevitable.
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03-16-2012, 12:29 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: February 29th, 2012
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
I know what you mean. This has been emotionally very hard for me too, but it will be ok.
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03-16-2012, 12:45 AM
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Posts: 2,151
Hysterectomy: February 17th, 2012
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
Ladies, I was really surprised by the emotional turmoil for the first couple of weeks (I'm 4 weeks post op tomorrow), it has gotten SO much better! Hang in there - you will feel better soon.
HUGS to you!
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03-16-2012, 01:06 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 130
Hysterectomy: February 24th, 2012
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
Yes, I've heard the mutilation thing too. But surgery is also an absolute miracle! Someone opened me up, took the problems out, and put me back together! And I am so much better because of it. You will be too.
And the emotions? I'm 3 weeks out and just NOW getting the emotions! We're all so different, but the best is yet to come. We're still in the early stages.
Hugs (but not too hard, we're still healing!)
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03-16-2012, 02:28 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 13
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2012
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
Awww honey, yes yes...the hormones go outta control...i actually was a crying mess, and was grieving before my surgery... yes the only way to describe it, is actual grieving, feeling loss.... I thought I was losing my mind feeling that way, but I could not control it! Now I have, after surgery, turned into a sentimental mess! Haaaa, even sweet commercials are tearing me up! You are not alone! I has my uterus, cervix and an olvary takin... But hey, look at it this way, no more periods! Hooooray! It will get better, it will
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03-16-2012, 04:04 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 72
Hysterectomy: July 7th, 2011
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
Oh yes, the crying. I thought at first something was wrong with me because I did not cry at all. I thought something happen to my emotions, like I lost them. Then about a week or so later, the floodgates opened and I was a basketcase. I was up, I was down and every which way. I felt like I was losing my mind and I just felt like I lost myself. I had regrets and just a whole spectrum of feelings. But, everything is much better! It seems like my hormones have settled down and I feel like myself again. I still have moments of just being sad that I had this operation, but I try not to let myself linger there. I pray often and I feel that God has rescued me from that despair feeling I was having. It is hard to believe these hormones can make us so goofy. It does help, at least for me, to eat healthy, for example I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, fish, almonds and I drink soy milk, drinking plenty of water and getting rest really helps and also I try to walk everyday. It helped me too, to start a new hobby. Keeping busy helps keep my mind focused on something else besides all this surgery stuff. Hang in there things do get better. Take good care of yourself. I did read some advice about how to cope after a hysterectomy and it said you can allow yourself to grieve, but don't let yourself stay there, cry and then get out and do something, take a walk, call a friend and take a drive, just do something and that is kind of what I try to do when I find I am starting to feel weepy. I hope you feel better soon. Everything really will be ok.
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03-16-2012, 06:57 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 204
Hysterectomy: February 23rd, 2012
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Am I grieving - why am I crying?
I detest those anti-hysterectomy sites!!! My uterus served absolutely no purpose in my body other than to cause me pain and misery. It's not a vital organ. So, I know that I did the right thing, it was the only option left for me. Other than living with chronic pain and passing golf ball sized clots every month.
Having said that, I have been weepy too. People don't understand how you can know you did the right thing and still cry. For me, I am 41, single and never had children. So, while I'm relieved and so grateful to be pain and clot free, I'm sad because I know being pregnant and having a baby will never happen for me. I knew this before the hyst but now it's final. It's hard to let go of that dream. So, when I allow myself to dwell on it, I cry.
And, on a much more basic level, I'm tired, have had a temp every night, some gas pains, no appetite and just haven't felt good in general which I think also contributes to the weepiness. My point, in longwinded way, is that tears are normal!!!!
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