Preparing for my abdominal hysterectomy

Hello. I was referred to this site my my good friend who is a professional doula and she's been through her own hysterectomy.

I just found out yesterday that I have a fibroid tumor so large that I cannot get my hysterectomy done laproscopically (is that a word? I'm overwhelmed with how much I have to learn).

I have to get the abdominal incision like a c section. I'll be in the hospital for 3 days and on pseudo bedrest for at least two weeks. Im frustrated with the news. I feel scared and sad and all sorts of things. I'm 30 and I have 2 kids. I'm a single mom. Is this really doable? I don't have a choice so I guess I'll find out.

Hi! I'm 28, single mom of 2 as well and am having similar doubts. My surgery is scheduled for the 26th so I can't you how I did it, just how I plan to do it.

First, I worked 60 hrs last week and am working 60hrs this week to compensate for the work I'm going to miss. I'm not sure if you're able to do that or if you have another income source to rely on but I don't. I will be able to take almost 2 weeks off, then I have to go back, pain or not.

Second, I've arranged for my younger sister to stay with me to nurse me as well as take care of my kids for me. My older sister was enlisted to drive me to and from the hospital. So, if you have siblings or family, or even close friends, call on them in your time of need.

Third, I've got plans to clean the weekend before, bought a bunch of $1 ice packs from Walmart, got an adult coloring book, and package of water bottles, and lots of canned or frozen food that's easy to microwave. Make life as easy as you can on yourself.

We can get through this! We're single moms. We can do anything!!!

How old are your kids? That makes a lot of difference. By the time I was eight, I knew how to make tea, boil an egg, cook a hamburger, run a load of wash in the washing machine and use a vacuum cleaner. The results weren't always perfect, but they were good enough.

Younger kids will require more thought to how you're going to manage. In particular, you're likely to have a 10-lb lifting limit. Mine was for the first four weeks after surgery. This is for real. I tried picking up my 13-lb cat when I got home from the hospital and my body screamed, "Put that down!"

I question the use of the phrase "pseudo bedrest" because I actually spent no time in bed except when I was sleeping. I turned in earlier than the evening than I usually do and napped regularly the first week after surgery, but when I was awake I was rarely lying down.

I had a TAH with a vertical incision and a three-day hospital stay. The nurses had me up and walking the first morning after surgery. By the second day I was taking myself out to walk multiple laps around the ward and spending the rest of my time sitting upright in an armchair reading. By the time I was released from the hospital the next afternoon, I was off narcotics and doing fine on ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin).

At home I had no trouble taking care of myself and my two cats. I prepared simple foods, washed a few dishes standing at the sink and kept the litter box scooped. Anything else by way of housework, I just let it go. Understand this: there's going to be lots of stuff you can't do. This includes vacuuming and sweeping. If your kids can't do it either, then you just need to let it go.

I went for lots of short walks on flat ground and spent lots of time sitting outside sewing and reading. Sometimes I curled up on my side to read, but generally if I was lying down, it was because I wanted to sleep.

Preparation is key. Before surgery, give the whole house a good cleaning and launder as much clothing as you can. Stock up on groceries, toiletries and household goods. Choose foods with an eye of ease of (or no need for) preparation. If you have a freezer, you may want to prepare meals ahead of time and freeze them.

Obviously you're going to need someone to look after the kids while you're in the hospital, as well as someone to drive you home from the hospital. You won't be able to drive until you're (1) off narcotics, and (2) able to hit the brakes hard in an emergency without flinching in pain.

If you're part of a church, neighborhood playgroup or other social / community group, let them know you'll be having surgery. I mentioned it on Facebook (without mentioning what type of surgery it was), and had several friends message me to say if I needed help to call on them. With a husband, teen daughter who can drive, and several people bringing meals, I was okay. Often people don't know what to offer. Picking up groceries, taking kids to their summer activities, play dates, meals - all something folks can help with. If you've got some really close friends, maybe someone can come by and push a vacuum cleaner through the house once a week.

Surpised is spot on - prepare what you can (I second the freezer meals!), and the rest, don't sweat it for now.