TLH 10 weeks post-op - a small step back?

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Originally Posted by goldenlife Hi, I am learning to let go of other people's expectations and take charge of my own care. Things will get better... Best of luck to you in your recovery.

Liberally snipped your post, but goldenlife, I agree - Things will get better for us, so long as we self-advocate and remind ourselves that this is our health, not someone else's. I am taking the day off and giving myself three days of rest to myself. I wish you all the best with your own journey to healing - even on the most difficult of days, I think I am one of the most fortunate people I know.

Thank you to all of you for sharing your experiences - it helps more than I think I can properly express. Here's to all of us seeing those better days outweighing the challenging ones!

Just wanted to say thanks to the OP and those who replied because I'm pretty much in the same place, only I'm a little over 9 weeks post op. I'm dealing with some soreness and aches too and I was frustrated that I was still having some issues. It's good to know I'm not alone, so thanks sisters for the reassurance!

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Originally Posted by Persephone77 Just wanted to say thanks to the OP and those who replied because I'm pretty much in the same place, only I'm a little over 9 weeks post op. I'm dealing with some soreness and aches too and I was frustrated that I was still having some issues. It's good to know I'm not alone, so thanks sisters for the reassurance!

I'm so glad to have the reassurance too! I found another older thread here, that helped ease my mind too about taking our time to heal. I wonder if someone might consider adding to the Checkpoints list on this site, to look beyond the 5/6 weeks post-op mark? I think that might help some of us keep things in perspective too. I reminded myself this weekend that I'll only be around 50% in another week and a bit, and really, that's still early on in the overall view of recovery. No one gives us a prize for racing through and trying to be the fastest at healing, after all!

I'm in favor of adding beyond Week 6 checkpoints as well. For slow healers, here are a host of issues and questions that range out into Months 2, 5, and beyond. It has been incredibly helpful for he to hear from other slow healers either ahead of me or along with me.

The other challenge that I found was that it is hard to search for posts with Week 10 issues in the title. The search engine says numbers are too common, so you have to get creative. However, it will let you search for month(s) in the title, so I found some old slow healer answers that way. I think you can search for week as well, but have to sift for the later weeks.

I'm so relieved to see this post, I thought it was just me! I am 8 weeks out. Some days I feel almost completely normal. In some ways I think that's bad, because I forget to be careful and not lift or carry too much. I tried to jump back into some end of season gardening this weekend and overdid it. It doesn't help that people think I'm all better now, and so they have stopped offering to help with things. I hate asking for help, but I try to remind myself that if my friends knew I needed it they would offer in a heartbeat!

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Originally Posted by Pinkletink I'm so relieved to see this post, I thought it was just me! I am 8 weeks out. Some days I feel almost completely normal. In some ways I think that's bad, because I forget to be careful and not lift or carry too much. I tried to jump back into some end of season gardening this weekend and overdid it. It doesn't help that people think I'm all better now, and so they have stopped offering to help with things. I hate asking for help, but I try to remind myself that if my friends knew I needed it they would offer in a heartbeat!

Not that I'm happy to know that others are going through the same frustrations, but it does help to know that we're just experiencing variations of 'normal healing'. I initially hesitated in starting this thread because if it was just me, I'd have felt extremely annoyed with myself, especially since I had a few weeks where I thought I could do anything, and had mastered the art of healing super-quickly.

I wonder if we are all of us incredibly good at faking how well we're doing? Like you, I know if I asked for help, my friends would offer it. But by the time anyone can tell that I'm trying to cope, I know I've overdone it because I try to put on a brave face. But hiding it maybe makes others have unrealistic expectations too. If I'm expecting more from myself, of course others will. So my goal for the rest of this month, in spite of the hustle and bustle, is to make sure I'm asking others to carry things, others to run errands, etc. I hope you're resting up today!

I have had enough set backs so I don't feel shy about asking people to lift things for me. The good news is that my co-workers have been great and will jump in to lift things before I can reach for them. Several co-workers have had different surgeries, so they know how long the healing process can take. I have had one or two cases of people being impatient if I stop and rest or have to cancel because I'm having pain or tiredness. However, I've tried to be up front about possible limitations and have a back up plan if I wipe out.

Also, I meant to say Thank You for the search tips, Beryl! I found a few threads about Slow Healers that I'm bookmarking as reminders because I have this feeling that I'll need them in my quest to do less these next two weeks. ('Slow Healers Unite' could be my rallying cry lately - SHU for short. )

I'm fortunate to have family and friends who truly understand that this is a long process, and I've told them I will not crab at them if they tell me to stop doing too much or if they gently suggest that I slow down.

I hope that we all have an easier week ahead.

Thanks so much everyone for posting here. Sometimes I just sit and cry and think I am being lazy, I just need to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get busy. My DH is great, he says slow down, it's ok, but I have a hard time accepting that. I also have some major things going on in my life right now and I think that slows down the healing too. The day I went back to work I found out my company is eliminating my job. I have been there 9 years and they are my support group (not the president though) so much for FMLA. Anyway thanks for letting me whine!

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Originally Posted by tkaqissleepy The day I went back to work I found out my company is eliminating my job.

Ugh, sorry to hear that. I found out the day before my 6 week appointment giving me clearance to return, that they were no longer going to hold my job either. So I'm unemployed for the holidays too.