Work and GUILT

OMG you sound exactly like me I couldn't have written it better. I was expecting to go back at 4 weeks, but my Dr said to go for the full 6 weeks. I go back FT on the 26th of Jan and I am sooooo nervous. I get tired and sore just making dinner and doing the dishes...crazy and irritating to be soooo limited. I can't stand being stuck inside the house, my friends come to visit and watch movies(both stay at home Moms). Girls at work are saying to just relax and enjoy the time off, but I feel guilty being at home. I love my work and really can't wait to be feeling normal enough again to enjoy my beautiful life. Good luck to you and all, take care.

Oh my goodness, everyone heals so differently. please don't let anyone tell you when you should go back to work. I'm 3+ weeks out, but already know I'll need 8 weeks to feel somewhat normal (had a bowel and stomach repair too). I am totally exhausted.

As women, we get the short end of the stick. We're supposed to have a full time job, keep the house clean, do dishes, do laundry, and sometimes pay all the bills. Add a hysterectomy to that, and it's just too much on the body (in my opinion anyway).

My husband said to hire a housekeeper, and he helps with the mail, and sorting laundry (as I can't even bend over).

Remember my friend, please take care of yourself. This is what's most important.

Hugs,

I had our son via emergency C section(he was frank breech) and compaired my hyster to having that I thought becuase I recovered from that so quickly I would feel great after a vaginal hyster with three one inch incisons I would be up and running after two weeks....hahahahahaha. All they took out 8 years ago was a baby! Everything else went back in. This time they took alot out and put alot of stiches back, what was I thinking? And I was 8 years younger, healthier and I had a baby to take care of, had to recover. I really only took the first week to relax, since then I have been doing all the laundry, cooking, cleaning(except vacum), paying bills, groceries(hubby caries, I put away)and getting our son ready for school. We also give ourselves the short end of the stick because thats what we are "supposed" to do. Work, raise the family, keep house, cook, I could go on and on but I won't. I wish I could stay at home (although I do love my work) and concentrate on me getting better but I live in the working world and because of finacial choices I have to work. We ALL need to take better care of ME, because ME is who takes care of everyone else.

Take your time off! This is the time to take care of yourself and make sure you heal completely. If not, your healing could end up taking longer. Each day will get better, but REST!

I went back to work one day in my fourth week. I was there 4 hours and had to leave.....totally wiped out. What a difference a week of rest did. I was able to go back 1/2 time in my 5th week and was back to full time in my 6th week. That is what worked for me.

But that was me and you are you. Do what your body tells you and do not worry about everyone else says. I think these ladies have short memories and are no longer the center of attention and need to create drama.

Hope your are feeling better soon

I was supposed to go back at 6 weeks, but there was no way I was going to be anywhere near ready to go back. I was still exhausted and had to have a nap every 4 hours. I went back last week at week 10. And I still would have been happier to take another 2 weeks. I had to challenge myself to get out of the house. Exhausted and anxious does not make for a happy employee. It is getting better each day, but I am still wiped out at the end of the day. Catching the nasty cold at work 2 days back didn't help either. Take your time going back. It is time well invested.

Take your time, cause you won't get a break once you go back to work.

I go back middle of next week, 6 weeks after an LAVH. I thought I could go back at 4 weeks. No way could I have done it....too tired, too much walking or sitting was painful. I'm not even sure I can work a full day when I do go back. And I was in good physical shape and healthy to begin with.

I had lots of friends who said, "oh, after the first two weeks it's just a vacation, you'll enjoy it." That has NOT been my experience - don't know what surgery they had !!

Yes, I wanted to go back earlier, but I just couldn't. Thankfully my boss is very understanding. But even if he wasn't I don't think I would be guilty. Look at it this way - many women take off multiple 6 week periods when they have babies. Nobody begrudges them that time. Why should a major surgery be any different?

Kathy
LAVH 12/10/08

I have no idea why women act tough to other women but they do, after the event, with all things. Don't look for compassion or honesty there, at least you know not to do that with your workmates.

Man I can relate all this. I too before the surgery thought, bahh I ll be ready to go back at 4 wks. I mean I sit at a computer, answer phones, listen to people scream at me. But by week 4 after non stop infections, and bladder spasms and then surgical menopause. No way. As my 6th week approaches next week, yeah I m ready to go back. But not sure if I can handle being there for 12 hrs straight. This week 5 has been rough. My belly went down i was happy now all of a sudden its all swelled up again. I cant wear pants! The insomnia is a constant companion and the bladder spasms are well just a pain. And dont forget the brain fade. I cant remember where I put the milk so how can I remember how to do CPR on the phone. I am a 911 dispatcher. I do not feel like I could give a dead frog any support.
I thought up a schedule that I will ask my Dr to approve. I go back on the
26. And with my schedule, that of course is my long week. I work 5 days. So for the first 2 days 6 hrs each. I ll have 2 days off then back for the full weekend. 8 hrs each day on the weekend then 2 more days off then back to full shift by the next 2 days. I think that will work for me. The weekend might hurt. 3 days back to back. But Ive got so much to do at the office beyond answering cries of help. I still have FMLA for time if I need it.
LIke everyone else. I have a good day then days I wanna crawl under a rock and just stay there. As well as I decided to move to a house during this time frame. So I ve been trying to pack things and clean on my own. I think they take brain cells when they take our parts. We always say men think below the belts, maybe we do too!

I am a teacher and I went back at 6 weeks, but only half days. Last week was my first full week. I left each day,as soon as finished with my kids, and would come home and sit on my couch and not be able to move. I have never felt so exhausted. My sister who never had a hysterectomy, would tell me about friends who had one and that I would be feeling fine in two weeks. I am starting my 8th week and I still don't feel like me yet. My Primary doctor told me it could take 3 to 6 months to feel like myself again. So take as long as you need.

Don't push yourself or feel guilty. Everyone's recovery is different. I work in healthcare and my boss (a female) thought I would be back after a couple of days. I didn't get much support from my employers and I told them 6-8 weeks. I was cleared after 6 weeks but felt not ready so I asked for the note to state 8 weeks. I went back full time after 8 weeks and am sorry I did. I wish I had gone back part time and work my way back slowly. I can honestly say it was 6 months before I felt back to normal. Be patient with your recovery process. You can only do it right the first time. Feel better soon.