TAH Guilt ... today I can't handle all this guilt!

Hubby left for work early this morning. We were in a great mood...he hugged me...told me how sexy I am... said he couldn't wait to have me again. I'm at 6 wks but not cleared yet for intercourse because of a hematoma and heavy bleeding.

I really should not have gone back to sleep after he left. I was startled awake in a dream. In the dream I had made a decision that I gave him permission to seek sex elsewhere cause I am 'broke' and that I don't want to be with someone who was with someone else so my bags would be packed before he got home from work and me and the kids would be gone. In the dream, he said ok...hugged me...thanked me for understanding and off he went to work.

I'm a horrible mess now that I'm awake!! And to add to the problem...now I have guilt that I woke up like this and the kids are upstairs without their 'old mom' who actually enjoyed doing things with them...I've been feeling well enough to do little things with them lately but their summer has been horrible with a sick mom who makes them do her housework.

Then there's work...they were counting on me gone for 6 wks....looks like it's going to be 8 or 10. Then my family out of town that we camp with most of the summer...haven't gone yet this year...and my friends who I just don't even want to see right now, well I do but I don't...ugh

Oh boy......gotta get myself out of this hole I woke up in ... but not really sure I can. These emotions are normal...I just don't really want to burden anyone further by adding guilt to all the problems my health has caused.

Thanks for listening...kinda feeling like I need people who understand.

You should not at all feel guilty for a DREAM or even a thought or half dream, it is NOT REAL.
Just be happy that you have a hubby who loves you and makes you such lovely compliments.
A Man who can not wait 8 weeks is not worth to be with anyway

Enjoy your day with the kids and forget that Dream.

I have dreamed that my hubby would cheat on me or would leave me and all kinds of dreams but they are just DREAMS and our own insecurity which does not mean that they would do what we dream they would.

Angebella,

No reason at all for you to feel guilty. From how you describe your former self, you are a wonderful wife and mother and you will soon be doing all the things you used to do! I'll bet you'll even do more because you'll appreciate all those simple things that we took for granted perhaps a little bit?

Everyone heals at their own rate and if you need to take longer, than do so. That's nothing you should feel guilty about. Whenever I feel guilty about work, I have a coworker who tells me to think about who will be holding my hand at the end of my life. Will it be my company HR person? No! It will be my family, so they come first. Work can likely do without you for a time and hopefully they will appreciate you that much more when you return.

Are you dealing with hormonal changes? You might want to talk to a medical professional about your feelings of guilt. It may help you overcome them more quickly and maybe there's some prescription change that would help?

As for your lost summer? I'm feeling that too with my family, but when you and your children look back on these years, this one summer will be just a blip and their memories will be of all the other summer trips and fun you had with them.

I hope you're feeling better soon!

lrsister

Cant help you there. After all the meals i cooked, pots i scubbed, laundry i have done, kids i changed and nursed and picked up after and drove here and there and pta meetings and scout meetings and room momming and keeping a part time job etc etc etc.. I deserved to be waited on hand and foot for a couple weeks!!! I still am not thrilled about my lost summer and vacation, but at least now my future vacations wont be RUINED by Miss Flo!! And I am going to make up for it when I can!

Oh girls your words are helping me so much through this day! Thank you....please keep it coming. Guilt is a normal feeling...but the hormones definitely need a bit of balancing today. I am a mom of 5...3 of my children have varying forms of autism...all high functioning...but this has really taken its toll on me. My family is a bunch of troopers but having me like this is getting so old. I should have been better by now, this is not how I planned it out.

As women, we give a lot to our families, often neglecting ourselves for them. But there comes a point sometimes that we just have to take care of ourselves-- so that we can effectively take care of them. I know I was to the point before surgery that I could barely function anyway so this recovery is really no different except for the fact that the things that were causing me so much pain and grief are now gone. So there IS a light at the end of this tunnel...

It was 9 weeks before hubby & I had sex, it was worth the wait as I had no complications after...yeah

There is NO REASON why you should feel guilty because your kids had to give up some time this summer so that you can be well. Just part of life's lessons...

The most important thing we as women can do for ourselves is know that we are worth it. No more guilt...

I just read you have 3 high-functioning autistic children...I have 1 --my 5 year old, I also have an 8 year old with Cornelia DeLange Syndrome...she does not talk or take care of herself but she can walk and drinks her pedisure out of a cup. I understand how rough this recovery has been and thankful that my mom was here the 1st 3 weeks and my husband took off work the last 3 weeks. I have been on my own during the day since and have been getting better each day, but like I said, really no different than before surgery...I was about non-functional anyway... I am confident it will only get better from here....