TAH: Do I need my partner to help me?

Hi everyone,

After reading threads after threads, I have come to the conclusion that I may need assistance from my partner after my surgery (28 Nov). I have having a TAH. He had planned to have 2 weeks off work and told them but they require a certificate from my doctor. I rang my doctor and spoke to the receptionist who told me they don't give out certificates prior to surgery, and I wouldn't need his help anyway, and that I probably wouldn't want him around at all! She doesn't know me and I am worried about getting to the toilet, having food, feeding cats, etc. I have no kids so thats fine. What are your experiences?

Hi,
My husband wasn't able to take time off either and I personally found it no problem. I like my space
I got up early to have a shower while he was still at home and he would leave everything that I might need at bench height so that I wasn't having to do any bending or stretching.
The family thought it hilarious because they would have to go around the house at the end of the day picking up things that I had dropped all day long
I don't have any pets but can your partner put food and water out for them before/after her goes to work?

Thanks for your response. Yes he can, I guess I was more worried about getting in and out of bed for the toilet and food, etc. He can feed them in the morning and leave hard food for them, then feed them when he gets home. If you can do it, I can do it#

Before you go home from hospital if the nurses haven't already shown you yet, ask them to show you the best way to get in and out of bed.
I found that I was quite weak when I got home so I had to make sure that the kettle was pre filled to the brim, any jars, milk bottles, packets were pre opened or loosened by my family before they went out for the day.

I think this is probably based on each person.

My husband can't take off work either. He will be off surgery day - and the day after ... but then he has to go back to work. I do have a 9 year old but he will be in school.

Our plan once I get home is to just get some books/the remote/my tablet, phone etc ... set up near the recliner and ill have to stay put other than getting up to use the bathroom.

Our bedrooms upstairs and i dont feel too confident going up and down stairs by myself at first... so ill stay down stairs while im alone so I can access the kitchen.

Im worried - I remember how hard it was to move the first few days after my c-section and ive heard this surgery/recovery is much worse than a csection.

Im sure we will all do just fine - just worrying about the unknown because its SCAREY to not know exactly what to expect.

Hi,

I have had 2 abdominal surgeries, both with vertical incisions. First time, I did not have a significant other. I was fine at home. My mom stopped by every once in a while but I was easily able to move around the house to use the rest room or make dinner, etc.

This time, my boyfriend was at the hospital on day of surgery then went back to work. He made me breakfast every morning and dinner every night. I was easily able to heat something up for lunch. I was taking walks by day 5.

I had no need whatsoever for someone to be there beyond that. Investing in a grabber is a great idea so you don't have to worry about bending. Other than that, if I wasn't outside taking a walk, I was on the couch watching TV or napping.

I also had moved everything I would need to waist level or above for easy access - clothing, food, etc. I found the bed to be too soft so I slept on the couch. As someone else mentioned, they will teach you the best way to get up before you leave the hospital (roll to your side, push yourself up with your hands, etc.)

Moving the very first time can be quite painful, but after that it gets significantly easier every day.

Good luck!

thanks everyone for your replies

I guess they wouldn't let me out of hospital if I couldn't look after myself hey! My boyfriend's work is only 15 mins away which is very comforting. I too plan to read, watch videos and sleep!

Rusty-blue - suggestion - see if your husband can take the day you come home from surgery and the first day you're home. Unless you live a long way from where the hospital is, you really don't need him in the hospital (except for moral support). But, once you're home, you may suddenly realize you really need X where X requires driving. Those first few days, it's really handy to turn to someone and say "I need mint chocolate chip ice cream - can you go get me some?" or (more seriously) "I have a fever & am throwing up, I think I should go to the ER."

I don't think so. You can get along just fine without him throughout the day if all that you'll be doing is resting in bed. He can pamper you, clean the house, cook, and the rest of the household chores when he comes home. But, I don't think that he needs to take off of work. And, the nurses will take care of you while you're in the hospital. You may find it comforting to have him there before going to surgery and when waking up, though.