Feeling ALone

Hello Spritey and Welcome,

Looks like you and I are scheduled the same day
You have found the best site and a really great group. I have asked questions and done some "venting" here. It is sooo important to have a place to take our feelings at this time. My SO kind of blows me off when I bring up the hyst.....always saying "Oh, you will be just fine" or...."Everything will be ok". I still think they call it Major Surgery and it is MY body. Anywayyyy......just wanted to say HI and

Hi and welcome! This is the best place for support and venting. I found my DH very noncomittal about it all. I got him to open up by talking in one of our favorite places - in bed just before we would go to sleep. Do you and DH have a special place to talk? After getting him listen late at night and not pushing him, I have found him to be a little more responses. And remember he cant read your mind. Sometimes you have to be VERY specific. I have heard that here before & that does work!
Hugs!
Dawn

hi!

Sorry you are feeling so alone. The ladies here are wonderful. Would it help if I told you my surgery is the day before yours? We will be off to the castle the same week in April! Take care of yourself!

Hugs,
Tum-e-trouble

Spritey..how about just simply asking your husband to tell you what are his thoughts and feelings about it all? People ask us (the women having surgery) but not many ask the DH. Maybe it would start the conversation off more easily if he felt it was his time to voice his opinions and concerns. Maybe he wants to talk about it too, but just doesn't know where to start. HTH

Lev

Hi. I feel for you on feeling alone and am glad that this place is here. I don't have any advise as I'm new here and still learning about everything myself. I will be here to support and listen whenever you need it.

This site has a great area for men. I sugest you read through it to help understand his feelings and then print it out for him to read or bring him to the computer and have him read it to understand where you are coming from. Good Luck to you girls! I am almost 4 months out and very happy with my desicion!

Ladies,
Most men feel the way yours are right now trying to deal with your surgery. Men are do-ers and fix-ers and they get frustrated when they can't "fix" their wives/girlfriends that they love so dearly. Most men deal with facts and not their emotions, unlike women--especially pre-hysterectomy, hormonally-skewed women!

My dh went with me to most of my dr. appts. and he knew all the facts. But to be honest, he really didn't want to discuss all my feelings about it because he was having a hard time dealing with his own. It wasn't until after my surgery that he confessed he was worried that something might go wrong in the surgery or that I'd have some bad complications. Just accept your man for what he is and if you need more "support" talk with a close friend or even here on this website.

Men are pretty basic and if they know what is expected of them, they'll usually rise to the occasion. When I told my dh that I would not be able to "run the house" for several days or longer and would need his help--this was a fact that he could deal with. After my surgery he went above and beyond the call of duty and things ran pretty smooth around here, not like I would do them, but the basic stuff got done and no one suffered any permanent damage. Its strange, but my surgery actually brought us closer together.

I hope I've made some sense here and wish you all a speedy recovery with your surgeries!