Second Opinion???

What is considered a good reason for this surgery? I don’t have excruciating pain, I clog competitively and have some trouble with urine leakage, and my periods are at the opposite end of heavy. Is there such a thing as not bleeding enough? My uterus is enlarged and I am having pain during intercourse that I usually don’t want to begin with…I won’t go into the occasional problem with bowel movements. There just seems to be women here who have such severe problems, that I feel like I’m just whining.

I have stuck with my gyn for the past five years because he diagnosed me with my prolapses and had done a similar repair on my friend’s mother-in-law successfully. Every year, I would ask if it was time to get things fixed. He would tell me to wait until I was absolutely sure I wanted no more children and having worse symptoms.

Last month, I went in and asked again. My husband has had a vasectomy, I leak every time I cough or dance, and I can’t stand the fact that my rectocele protrudes outside my vaginal opening. Plus the fact that I came off the exam table with pain when he pressed on my stomach. That is when he did a sonogram and found that my uterus has prolapsed and is the size of a 9-week pregnancy.

Of course, now I am having constant back pain and constipation. I am second guessing myself and wondering if this isn’t brought on by finally being told that I can have the surgery I’ve asked to have for so many years. He says that it is up to me, and I can wait if I’m not sure yet… I feel like getting a second opinion is odd because I am the one who is begging to have it done.

I have people telling me to get it done, and then others telling me never to have surgery unless it is absolutely life threatening. I know if something goes wrong and I have post-op problems, that I will hear the “I told you so’s…”

Just wondering if anyone else is in this boat?

Hi Sheroze, I'm in that boat with you...you have one oar, I have the other. Like you, I'm not in excrutiating pain...however sex is extremely painful. My periods are no longer extra heavy like they were 1 1/2 yrs ago(before lap. surgery for adhesions), and pelvic exams are extremely unpleasant.

Really, your sentiments reflect mine...I want to have the surgery because I want my problems alleviated, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking "what if it doesn't fix my problems and I went through all of this for nothing" I even started thinking that my gyn was flippantly suggesting the hyst. just to get me to quit whining...so I started thinking of a 2nd opinion (never got one because I've been heading down this road for a really long time). It's really no surprise that I'm this close now. I still have my thoughts of cancelling, after all I still have 2 weeks to go. I too have the thoughts of post-op problems...but find reassurance in other's posts that their surgeries have gone well and recovered nicely.

What I really want is for someone to guarantee me that this surgery will take care of ALL of my problems and that I won't have any complications and will recover nicely and quickly...and for my family to support me and agree with the decision. But, nothing in life is a guarantee.
Lis

I'm afraid no one can make that guarantee. Many women here have reported WAY worse problems than I had before my hysterectomy. I don't think I had to wait for my uterus to be killing me before I had it. Actually, I think it was slowly sucking the life out of me, and I just didn't notice because I got used to feeling like crud most of the time! My fibroids were growing, I could feel pressure from them, no urinary problems. My periods were short but brutal. It just didn't seem like menopause would show up any time soon in my case and put an end to this, so I decided to have the surgery. I had a great outcome. Not everyone does, though, so if you have ANY doubts about this WHATSOEVER, I urge you to have a second opinion, then you won't be second-guessing yourself and your doctor later. Best of luck to both of you!

For me, the decision to have my surgery was the right one for me. The quality of my life was suffering and so was I. I was bleeding 30 days of the month and if I COULD get the bleeding stopped, sex started it right back up again. Sex was painful, bleeding was heavy and I was just tired of being tired. I was having to take Progesterone twice a day to NOT bleed and then that even stopped working. My back was aching and I felt like yuck. I finally had had enough.

I think you have to research and ask questions. You need to soul search and be honest with yourself. It's a very difficult decision and what you decide, has to be the right choice for YOU.

Lis, You hit the nail on the head. As with I'm sure a large majority of women, we don't feel the onset of pain or comlications because they come in gradually and we just ignore it. I'm too busy with my family and household to feel pain, but I do feel yucky most of the time. I'm tired, irritable and write off back aches to laundry, headaches to sinus, and pelvic pressure to the fact that I won't take the time to eat right or sit in the bathrrom for more than a mnute.

It may or may not be related, but I am trying to tell myself that I am worth finding out. It is just hard when I am the one taking care of everyone else. My son just had his tonsils out this past week. I've told him that when it is Mommy's turn, he better remember how I pampered him.

Sheroze...you and I are so similar...taking care of the rest of the family, not taking the time for myself...I too, tell myself that my symptoms are because of other things (like you said, laundry, short stints in the bathroom, etc). I generally feel yucky most of the time (and boy can I be cranky) but regardless I still go and do what has to be done.

I am really hoping that I feel as much like a new person as many of the other sisters have posted of themselves. Best of luck to you.
Lis