The rudeness of people when they hear you are having a hys...

I haven't really been telling many people at work about my upcoming surgery, mainly because those who need to know, know, and I didn't want to have to endure weeks of questions/advice/etc. But today I was telling a few people that I thought might need to know I am going to be away for a few weeks....
I was mentioning that Monday would be my last day, not to transfer calls to me, etc, and told her, after she asked, that I was having a hysterectomy. Her first words were " No babies for you then. No more babies for you. " Now, she knows I don't have kids, and I looked at her and told her, no, no babies, I just have my dogs. I was a bit shocked at her rudeness, and of course there is no way she could have known I have had many good cries over the whole issue, but what if I hadn't come to some sort of terms with that? I mean really. Not one word of well wishes, nothing. She then went on to grill me about why wasn't I trying other options, etc. Now, usually I try to give her the benefit of the doubt, and in fact, make a concerted effort to extend warm feelings/compassion towards her, but for a moment there, I wanted to haul off and smack her upside the head. I of course, didn't, and changing the subject.

What was she thinking! Oh well. I just wanted to share with some folks who understand.

Some people's children...so many insensitive folks out there. So sorry!

Hey Nyxluna, yea..bad response, not what you need right now. Maybe she is just too young to know or understand and quite often people do not know how to respond to such personal and devastating news. Get your support from here and loved ones, they know your needs...and of they say the wrong thing they DEFINATELY dont mean it.
Best wishes x

That's why the Lord gave you your Hystersisters. There are people who only see things in a selfish way. The lady you spoke about is obviously a very selfish person. She only cared about speaking her mind (such as it is). But you on the other hand did not return the same to her. You were more concerned that you would not affend her. That is Christ like. Keep on truckin you will receive a return on your good works in time. Pray that this person experiences grace and mercy so that she will somehow see herself before she hurts someone that may not be as strong as you. Continue the good work until the good work end.

Hu Nyxluna,

Try not to let your co-worker's ignorance bother you. What we don't understand, we judge.

Sounds like if your co-worker had an anatomy lesson put in front of her, she wouldn't even be able to identify ~~where~ the uterus, ovaries and cervix are!!! Her comments come from her ~own~ insensitivity.

Hey...my theory is what comes around goes around. Your co-worker may face a major surgery in her future and then she may get some comments, similar to the rude comments she is dishing out now.

Best wishes. We Hyster Sisters are here for you!!

Mary

So sorry you had to experience your co-workers insensitivity. It is amazing what some people will say to you when they here you are having a hyst! I was 25 so I heard a lot! It was very frustrating at times since it seems people think you just wake up one morning and decide "you know what, I think I will have a hyst, for no reason at all, just sounds fun!" Hello??!! We usually go through a lot to get to the point of surgery!

I wish you well and am glad you didn't smack the girl or say anything nasty! Goes to show you have good manners even if she didn't! Good for you!

Oh Nyxluna,
All I can tell you is that it doesn't appear that she was thinking at all! Some people have no tact or no snap at all! I was lucky that everyone was much more supportive... I did however have to cut a couple of well meaning people off at the pass though (as they were starting to give a bit too much unwelcomed advise or start an inquisition). I had several ways of doing this. Sometimes I would use technology ( by self paging myself or setting my cell phone to go off when I hit a button...) sometimes I just politely cut them off and said that I appreciated their point of view and their concern, but I wanted to keep a positive mind set and assured them that I had discussed everything with my doctor and asked them to please keep me in their thoughts and prayers, and did not feel like talking about it any more right then.

In the mean time I agree with all of your other sisters who say that you have sisters here that are here for you any time you need us!

Good luck to you, and I will keep you and all the other soon to be princesses in my thoughts and prayers.

I understand all too well how you feel & I agree that some people are insensitive & rude to the point of being "stupid"! I had a similar remark from a supposed "good friend"! I told her that I was going to have a hysterectomy because of a pre-cancerous condition "hyperpalsia"(my real diagnosis is endometrial cancer)& the first thing she said was "you can't conceive after that, no conceiving"...like I was some moron who didn't already know that I couldn't conceive without my organs! She knew that I have been wanting a baby for years & that I had been to fertility clinics etc. She's no longer on my "top ten" list when it comes to friends that's for sure! Whenever she calls I tell her I'm just leaving or some other excuse. It really makes me sick to talk to her since then & I'm disgusted that a "friend could be so callous & insensitive! Don't let it get to you because the world is full of "morons". By the way, I also have "my dogs" & as a matter of fact I've got a litter of four pups from one of my females. They're 7 weeks old now & so cute! I'm keeping one & am trying to find good homes for the other two. Believe me,they're better company & more supportive than many ignorant people!

I know just what you mean. I told a coworker I may not be able to go to concert I'd planned on because of it being too close to post-op. Another coworker broke in and said - "When I had my c-section, I was up and on a plane in two days." I hate it when people compare stuff like that. How rude!

Hey Nyxluna,
I am too from Winnipeg so first a quick hello, and know for your issues. I agree totally with you on how some people are just rude. I get the same thing, from people who ask did you explore all your options? I look at them and say "No, I figured I have nothing else to on Nov. 1st so why not have a hysterectomy" then they usually just keep quiet and say things like well I don't mean anything by it. So just ignore people and those who have never had a missed period or anything like that usually don't and will not understand. My inlaws are the same way and usually say something dumb. Take care and all the best and keep your chin up, you are doing what is best for you.