dVH/RALH excuse me, I had major surgery!

I hear you. You know that I hate hearing "well, at least it's keyhole. You will be fine!"
Not even coming from a woman but a 60+ man!
Oh, my MIL doesn't really want to hear how I am. She will say "how are you? Good now?" This was the day after surgery.
Unbelievable.
I hope that someone in real life is there for you OP and I hope that you are feeling better very soon.
Lammy

When I got home from the hospital, there was a beautiful plant waiting on my steps. A gift from my mother in-law. It did brighten my day. Sorry you did not get the attention you deserved. Sending love your way!

Only my young uns had an excuse. We are fighting for custody of my grandson and I said save money for that.

Good MIL.

Thank goodness for Trader Joes.

My favorite excuse is "I didn't want to bother you" well I understood that the first couple days but geez do they not understand what we've been through. When you are used to being around people, it gets pretty lonely.

I couldn't believe how stir crazy I got. I was thinking of retiring early but not now!! Hope not feeling 100 percent had something to do with it!

haha. Yes, I agree..I actually started a whole thread ranting about the same thing..

all the people .."friends" who said they were going to be here to visit me while I was recovering..I had 1 from work, and 1 friend that I really never expected to come, and another unexpected call from a lady checking on me as she had gone through the same thing recently.

As for family..I'm surrounded by inlaws..and one sis in law came to visit me..and that's it.

I'm surprised that no neighbours have called or popped in to see how I am..etc..

And I emailed work the other day..all the managers..and the one who has been saying all along that she was going to come and see me replied to me saying "time sure flies..I never did come and see you"..

So, I'm wondering..if it's me..or have we really become so busy that we just don't take time for people anymore..so I vow to do better, too.

Kinda hurts though..

My problem was that I thought my immediate family and friends would respond in the way that i do when they have illness.. I admit i let my feelings get hurt and then I took a step back.. I expected a lot of attention all at once from everyone and now as time goes on some wanted to give me time to rest thats why they didnt stop by.. They did let me know that I was on the prayer chain.. Some had colds and they didnt want me to get sick so soon after surgery.. And some want to help but just didnt know what to do or how to help.. And yes some were so busy they just didnt make the time.. This website has made a world of difference.. And i found that I actually had help all along here at home i was just so busy trying to get everything done myself i overlooked it.. This surgery has been a blessing my daughter who is disabled has been able to do some chores which she didnt realize she could do.. My husband has also been so good.. I felt so bad since he works two jobs seeing him help around house but he has enjoyed being able to do these tasks.. This has really brought us closer together in such a fast paced world. The rest of our kids have checked in and although not all at once have done so.. It is hard to depend upon others even if its just a little, But I have to remind myself in order for me to be able to have helped others they needed to be accepting of my help.. Now its my turn and its ok to get a little help.. Take each day and make it the best that I can and i try to focus on the positive things and appreciate the little bonuses that come along.. I found many were absolutely clueless of what the surgery and recovery involved and there non involvment was not intentional they just didnt know.. This website has been so wonderful to have everyone this more than makes up for those that didnt call or check in.. It has also helpe dme explain expecially to my husband what is happening to my body so he can be supportive he had no clue.. He wanted to be there for me just didnt understand why we take a few steps forward and then a few back.. Best wishes to everyone and thank you so much in advance for always being here for me..

I had an abdominal hysterectomy and I hear the recovery is more difficult. What I have learned from listening to people is that hysterectomies are so common that people take them for granted like you're just getting a tooth pulled. I have no kids-- but a wonderful husband and nice family and friends. Some do more than others. Some people who came forward who I never would have expected while others who I thought might be more "active" have been on the fringe. I guess the trick is to ASK for help. So many have "offered" but since I don't ask-- I guess they figure I don't need anything. People are so busy I hate to ask for help. When my friend had her hysterectomy I offered her many times to help out if she needed it. I never offered because I thought since I "put it out there" that she knew she could come to me. Now that I'm going through it I KNOW that sometimes you just have to help people even if they don't ask. I'm thinking for those us of who always appear to be "strong" or "ok" and never ask for help-- everyone just assumes we are tough enough to help ourselves. I try to stay positive and since I know our hormones are wacky right now-- this isn't a good time to be tossing friends!! I am trying to be thankful for what I have and not be mad at what I don't have. Now unless your friends are total jerks, maybe you'll feel better about them in a few weeks. In the meantime-- you have us!!!! Take care.

I have to admit I am in the middle...two weeks off before the surgery because I prolasped (cervix was still good so surgery date didnt change)...
My Mom was there every minute taking care of me...and stayed with her for 10 days after surgery...she did every thing for me and I AM truly grateful...came home and DH and 16 DTeenager think I should be up and running...hard to get them to understand that I still need alittle more time...embarrassed to say that I have had a couple of melt downs but seriously...just had major surgery so the maid / cooking / entertainer needs a break....
And if I need to hear one more time that I should not be over doing it but can I please run and get this or cook that...I am going to freak...