What do I tell my friends/ family? They just don't get it!

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Originally Posted by RennersChick hahaha you're great. ((hugs)) Keep in touch, yeah?

Absolutely!

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Originally Posted by AbbyNormal9 Yeah, because facebook is very physically demanding and definitely not something you can do while sitting on the couch or laying in bed :eyeroll:

Exactly!

Ugh, it's an emotional train wreck isn't it? I got into a huge fight with my sister at Christmas for the same reason. My doc told me on Dec 19th that I wasn't healing very fast and needed another 4 weeks because I had been over doing it. I'm usually the one who does everything and runs everything in my whole family. So, now we aren't speaking and I just keep crying all the time. I really hope this is my hormones out of control but I feel like I have really learned who cares. I turn to hystersisters every day just to remind myself I'm not alone.

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Originally Posted by AbbyNormal9 Yeah, because facebook is very physically demanding and definitely not something you can do while sitting on the couch or laying in bed :eyeroll:

Haha! My thoughts exactly!!!

I was deliberately vague with my friends before surgery, several of my Friends have been here before me, so that's who I've mostly talked to, they know what's going on, and why, and I don't see any reason to be more open with anyone who doesn't ask the right questions. I had the TAH on December 5 due to a massive (like small melon sized) fibroid. ... yes, I milked it a bit leaving early from Christmas events that I wasn't particularly enjoying, but generally my recovery is progressing as it should, though occasionally I have to remind myself that I asked for this!

I'm sure it's hormones out of whack ... I get this, but I doubt most of my family does. I work hard to not "lose it" and tend to prefer my own company right now.

I'm not really having hormonal or emotional issues, but when I tell someone I need them to come help me when I just drove and went somewhere the day before they look at/treat me like I'm just lazy. In reality, I'm in pain because I over did it and when I just do nothing at all and lay around, I'm milking it. I just need to find a way to say that I'm not recovered more bluntly and in detail. I tried linking two of the articles on here, but not sure that got the message thru.

Maybe it would help to ask yourself what you would want them to do? I'm guessing that they know you had the surgery and are recovering well. Do you need help with things? Do you long for company and someone to talk to? Once you know what it is that you would like but aren't getting, then you can let people know how they could help. I didn't tell hardly anyone about my surgery. My main concern was dying of boredom while I couldn't drive. Before my surgery, I asked 3 different people who were available during the day if they would promise to drive me somewhere/ anywhere to get me out of the house. They agreed and luckily I could drive in a week, so I only had 2 of them actually take me out. I'm guessing that they are assuming that all is going well and you don't need help and would bet that if you let them know what they can do, they will come through for you.

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Originally Posted by coughy16 Maybe it would help to ask yourself what you would want them to do? I'm guessing that they know you had the surgery and are recovering well. Do you need help with things? Do you long for company and someone to talk to? Once you know what it is that you would like but aren't getting, then you can let people know how they could help. I didn't tell hardly anyone about my surgery. My main concern was dying of boredom while I couldn't drive. Before my surgery, I asked 3 different people who were available during the day if they would promise to drive me somewhere/ anywhere to get me out of the house. They agreed and luckily I could drive in a week, so I only had 2 of them actually take me out. I'm guessing that they are assuming that all is going well and you don't need help and would bet that if you let them know what they can do, they will come through for you.

I am very specific when I ask for help or what I need. Instead of help, now I am just an inconvenience and thought to have been better by now since I've gone out or gotten fully dressed. I honestly didn't think that would happen, but since they can't see what is wrong with me...they don't see what is wrong.

Hi guys. Interesting post. I am 1 week out and on the couch, but really doing well, better than I expected. I experience the same things. with others' comments. Close people who were in on the pre-op conversations understand it was a big surgery, but then other people who do not know will say things like they had laporoscopic gall bladder surgery and were up in 3 days,etc. and I should be fine....I am just trying to extend trust that people have good intentions and just don't know. The only thing that is relevant to my surgery is how I feel and what I need. It is important to be able to be vulnerable and ask for what you need and not expect people to guess or know. For me, being able to ask and not expect people to just know, takes a lot of the resentment out of the situation, but has been hard at times. Just had my first crying jag today, so, of course, it will be even more difficult to explain the emotional vulnerability, but I can only speak my truth. to my friends and family. Those who love me will listen and of course your sisters here will listen. XOXOXOXOX