Thank You

I would like to extend my thanks to those responsible for initiating this site, as well as to everyone who has contributed to it. In this world of information, misinformation, & statistical hoo-hah, it is wonderful to have a forum wherein we can exchange the personal experiences that are invaluable in helping us through our individual nightmares. Everything that is shared here is important, whether it be the seemingly silly question, the informed response, the expressions of fear, relief, anxiety, pain, confusion, etc. They strenghten us and enable us to feel human and normal and connected when we are inclined to feel anything but. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

If that sounds stilted, please forgive me. I am as sincere as I can be (and a bit loopy from Vicodin and Good & Plenty candy...not sure as to which offers more relief).

I have done my lurking time, reading your posts and commiserating privately, so now I will come out from behind the bushes:
I'll be going in for my TAH/BSO at the crack of dawn on October 9th. I prefer to think of the hosptial as a Hospital rather than a castle, as that name tends to invoke images of dank dungeons and torture devices for me. I don't want to mess with anyone's fun here, but I've been in castles and they didn't seem any too comfy! This hospital has a real bed with a mattress, modern plumbing and electricity and other niceties. I am going to pretend it is in Paris. I am paying them big bucks, so I get to do that.

I feel very fortunate in that I am going into this with no fear. That is not to say that I am completely jitter-free or without the occasional bouts of depression, but for some reason those seem to be more about making sure I've done everything I want to get done beforehand. Having gone through three surgical procedures last year helped take the egde off, I am sure, but I think the real reason is this: the thought of waking up in pain (if i've managed to get some sleep) and enduring another day seeing the anguish and concern of those who care about me is more frightening and unbearable than any operation. I want to walk upright again. See my daughter smiling. I don't want to hear the worry in the voices of my son and my lover or see the looks of impatience on my coworkers's faces. I want to be alive and happy and well, and no scalpel or tube is gonna keep me from it, dag-nabbit!

To you who are suffering with the pre-op frights: If you have endured the discomfort, embarrassment, fear and agony that your individual ailments have caused you, you are as strong and courageous as a human can be. The world is yours and you can face anything head-on.
And maybe we'll get flowers!

D

Songbird,
We appreciate your kind words and are so glad to be able to help so many women. I'm glad that you found us and have learned so much. Sounds like you are very ready for your surgery.

Best wishes and here's a ,
Patty

Thanks, Patty
I guess I'm about as ready as I can be at this point. I still have to go out and buy a girdle (BF suggests one with lace...maybe I'll get a black one), but having a few last things to do is good for me, i think. It'll keep me from getting too far ahead of myself. The last thing i need to do right now is start dreaming up post-surgical home renovations or some such!

D