emotionally fragile/donating own blood?

Hi & hugs to everyone there!!
Yesterday, I was so emotionally fragile, that if anyone asked how I was, I would burst into tears. It's all the more difficult working so close to people & trying to hold myself together all day & not being able to 'let loose' when I need to. I figure it's the waiting & how everything I do is a bit of a milestone toward 'the date.' I'm now less than a month away, but have known about this since July. Yesterday afternoon, I preadmitted to the hospital - 1st to donate my own blood (that will happen tomorrow) & did the preadmit for the surgery at the same time. One of the first questions asked was if I had a copy of my 'advance directives.' That was another time I 'lost it.' I'm donating blood as a precaution in case I need it, also, I had hematology testing & found that my blood clotting time isn't normal (tested negative for von Willebrand's)- I tend to bruise easily & still have a hematoma from minor breast excision surgery in July. This will be my first donation ever (I take heart meds for palpitations so can't donate for anyone else)...is anyone else donating for themselves?
Thanks for being there. hugs!

Oh, sweetie! You can come cry here to your heart's ease. I've been sharing my box of tissues all over the world. Now have a big hug from those who understand, your new sisters.

I'm not donating my own blood, but if you feel it's the right choice for you, then do so.

Lena

I wanted to give you a great big
I'm 4 years post op now but do still remember the emotional roller coaster that I was on pre op. waiting cna be very hard

S S

I would recommend donating your own blood. I asked my gyney and he said it wasn't necessary as I was the ideal surgical patient and it was so unlikely I would have complications. I ended up having a blood transfusion and now I really wish I had been able to have my own blood back. If you have the time before surgery to do it then what is the disadvantage of doing it? It doesnt matter if you dont need it and the chances are you won't but if you are one of the unlucky ones like me then you will wish you had.

Yes, I have already scheduled my donation for the 8th of November. I just look at it as something else to check off from our pre-op list.

The tissues & hugs really help, thanks!! Strange how I was so vulnerable to everything that day. I've been feeling ok & emotionally stronger since. I guess we just have to let it happen...
giskard - what happened that you needed the blood & how much did you get? I'm thinking about you & hoping you're having a smooth recovery.
vulcania - how much do you plan to donate?
Today I donated, & it was surprisingly quick, easy, with no side effects. (I've felt really bad & dizzy during some of my worst blood-clotting periods!) I can make 1 more donation in a week, but haven't decided if I should go ahead with it. They recommended taking FeoSol up until the day before my surgery date to increase the iron reserves.

I bled internally during the night following surgery. They didn't realise it had happened. My BP was low all night and they kept giving me gellafusin to try and bulk up my blood. Normally one pack does it. I had three and the BP was still around 80/40 mine is normally around 120/70. In the morning they took blood and my hemaglobin came back at 5.2 and they wanted to give me the transfusion. I refused it until they could tell me why I needed it and what had gone wrong. My hemaglobin was 10.8 the day before and I had only lost 100mls during the surgery. After I made a fuss they gave me a CAT scan which showed I had lost about three pints into my abdomen and had a 9cm hematoma and lots of free fluid floating around in there. Luckily the bleed had stopped on its own so they didnt take me back to theatre. Once I knew I had bled internally I agreed to the transfusion and felt so much better afterwards but it was very scary at the time. They tell me now that this incident will only have slowed my recovery slightly and that the hematoma will dissipate by itself over the coming months.

Obviously I am now concerned that I may have contracted something from the transfusion. I know it is really unlikely but then it was really unlikely I would have this complication. It happens about 1 in 100 surgeries and my surgeon was very experienced. Given the number of women that visit this site that is still going to be quite a lot of sisters so I would really recommend that you do donate your own blood. I really wish I had. I could really do with not worrying about HIV or Hepatitis no matter how small the risk.

Oh and I had 4 units transfused. After the transfusion my hemaglobin was 9.8. Last week it was up to 12.5 which is probably the highest I have ever been. It takes three weeks to completely replace your blood so at least its all mine now. I really didnt like the idea of 4 other peoples blood coursing around me - yuk. I mean thank God people donate but still its not pleasant to be a recipient.

giskard - WOW! I so feel for what you went through. I can only imagine how super scary it was at the time. You had just been through surgery & are dealing with the after effects of that & the meds & to be able to be so aware of the complication, not really knowing what it was....Wow! So glad you are doing well. I was told that all transfused blood is so much safer than ever... Did you ever find out where exactly or why it happened? (Maybe just that things do happen?) what's going on with the hematoma - is it being monitored? Also, are you physically aware that it is there? My breast hematoma used to be the size of my breast - the whole thing was discolored & really hard. It's gradually turned skin color & softened to breast tissue, but I still have an small area that may still be hematoma/scar tissue. Dr hasn't paid much attention to it & never seemed concerned, told me 4 months for it to go away.
Thinking about you with hugs...

giskard - I searched the post-op board after posting my reply to you here. I came across your post answering most of my questions. Special thanks to you for the info! I'm continually thankful for all the info that can be found on this site. It is a bit scary to know too much, but it's also very empowering & allows us to be prepared.