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DH just doesn't get it!!
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09-14-2004, 11:58 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 73
Hysterectomy: September 22nd, 2004
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
I need some help here...But then again don't we all =) That's why we are here. My DH has no idea what I am about to go through. i have told him I won't be doing much of anything for a couple of weeks and he keeps asking me if we want to go to Cedar Point (the amusement park) in Oct....He wants to have a Halloween party in Oct with a hayride!! I keep telling him I won't be able to do too much other than walk and sleep for a while, but HE JUST DOESN"T GET IT!! We also have 2 daughters ages 5 & 7. He thinks as long as we have arrangements for them Wed, Thurs, Fri of next week, that is all I should need. I have tried talking to him to no avail. Does any one have some suggestions??? I had to give him a full course on the birds & the bees when I had the kids and I believe this is worse. I am 30 & he is 35...so there is no reason for him to act so dumb! He honestly believes I will be fine in a couple of days. i had a uterine ablation last spring and recouped quick, so I think maybe thats where his thoughts are...Thanks for letting me vent..
Michelle
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09-14-2004, 12:01 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 162
Hysterectomy: June 17th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
Michelle,
What I suggest is you go into one of the journals and print it out and let your DH read it. My DH came onto this website and he said he had no idea what I would be going through until he read it.
Best wishes future sister.
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09-14-2004, 12:13 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: September 27th, 2004
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Info for hubby
I hope this helps guys just do not understand what we ladies are going up for, here is a website below:
Mister Hyster Sisters Guide (download)
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09-14-2004, 12:14 PM
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Posts: 15,188
Hysterectomy: September 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
I'm sure I won't be the first to suggest this, but go to www.pelvicfloor.com and click on "image library". Your dh will never be the same again! (Some of the pictures are a bit graphic, but they really point out what is being done and why this is not a walk in the park.)
I also had an issue. My dh said, "Oh, you'll be up and around in 7-10 days" and his mom had a vag hyst 25 years ago and it was no big deal, etc...... I told this to one of my drs. (he was typing furiously into my file as I was talking to him) and he looked up, did a double-take, and slowly shook his head. "No, no -- 6-8 weeks of recuperation! You will NOT be back to normal in 10 days."
You might want to have dh talk to your dr. -- that might help.
Good luck to you!
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09-14-2004, 12:24 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: September 27th, 2004
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
Yeah the www.pelvicfloor.com website also show photos of the procedure, it offers a lot of info.
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09-14-2004, 12:59 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 463
Hysterectomy: July 20th, 2004
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
anxiousmichelle, Do go to those suggested websites and let him take a look for himself ...........But, (theres always a but huh?) Don't get pre set ideas of what you will and won't feel like doing........Not everyone needs that much help (some do).....Some women bounce right back (some don't)......If your hubby is anything like mine I might as well of had a tooth filled or something But I didn't need him or anyone else after the surgery I was up and about all by my self..........My kids are somewhat older than yours so I didn't have to worry about that But I still drove them to orientation and things like that the week i came home and was able to cook even though friends brought food (son is picky eater).........I did what I felt like my body could handle.........If at any time I had felt a twinge of pain or fatigue I would have jumped right back into bed.........So please listen to your body and what its telling you.......................
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09-14-2004, 01:02 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 4,889
Hysterectomy: May 15th, 2002
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
Before you go as far as pelvicfloor.com, I suggest that you print out our FAQ for Friends and Family and give it to him for a little bedtime reading.
Also, check on your doctor's usual protocol for recovery. Most say six to eight weeks, and many have handouts, either from ACOG or their own brochures. You should bring your DH with you to the pre-op teaching appointment. Both my DH and I were astounded when the nurse told me I couldn't lift anything heavier than a half-gallon of milk or a loaf of bread! I was used to lifting up to fifty-lb patients, and pushing a 450 lb ultrasound machine.
Now is the time to activate that "playdate" network. Your DH probably isn't really equipped to find diversion for your two DDs, but friends' families will come through for you. My DD had days of sleepovers planned -- the families just had to make sure that her homework was done too (easier at the age of your two).
best of luck to you!
Audrey
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09-14-2004, 02:09 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 1,340
Hysterectomy: September 3rd, 2003
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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DH just doesn't get it!!
When/if you take DH to www.pelvicfloor.com, make sure the poor man is sitting down. It's pretty graphic. I couldn't look at it prior to surgery without feeling sick, but found it interesting afterwards.
Good luck.
s
Cat
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