10 days post-op

and I'm still exhausted. It wears me out to walk to the bathroom which is attached to my bedroom. I'm resting a LOT and not doing anything I shouldn't be doing. I force myself to walk outside to check out the flowers blooming and come right back to bed. I feel that not doing any walking at all won't help me recover but I'm shocked at how weak I still am.

Doctor said it was major surgery and I shouldn't worry. My uterous had adhesions completely surrounding it and he had a heck of a time getting it out. Pain in places I didn't know I had still.

This was my fourth abdominal surgery so I knew what to expect but I'm not bouncing back like before. Yes, it's been 23 years since my last c-section and I'm a lot older but shouldn't I be feeling stronger now? I'm so dang tired of being tired. I'm basically a workaholic and laying around doing nothing is starting to drive me flipping nuts. Shoot I don't even have the strength to sit at the puter for more than 10 minutes at a time.

Is there anything I can do to help get my strength back faster?

Who am I trying to kid? I just spent the last 30 minutes bawling my eyes out. The fantasy is over....

I thought having two adult children living with me meant I would be taken care of. Not pampered necessarily but taken care of. Instead I have two kids who don't get out of bed until 1 in the afternoon. I have lost 10 pounds since surgery and it's because I only eat once a day. I went to the kitchen this morning hoping to make something to eat out of all the stuff I bought two days ago. The easy to fix stuff is gone...my son. Not one freaking clean dish in the house...I mean not one at all. I told myself, ok, wash enough to make pancakes. No sponge to be found. I stood at the sink looking out the window and bawling like there was no tomorrow. My five yr old granddaughter led me to bed and gave me her stuffed rabbit to hug. I'm paying the price of sins past...

At least you have a sweet granddaughter! She reminds me of my daughter, who is 12 years old. She's like a little mother.

I hate it that you're not being taken care of the way you should be. You're not asking to be pampered, you just want some consideration, support, and help, right? Maybe you should ask your adult children to do specific tasks. Send junior to the grocery with a specific list of what YOU want. Ask your daughter to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. Or, send your daughter to the grocery and your son to the kitchen! Sometimes I really and truly think that people just don't THINK. They don't intend to be negligent or messy or whatever, they just never stop to put themselves in someone else's shoes. In addition, I think so many people (especially loved ones) just don't realize how much trauma you've been through with this type of surgery and how long it takes to even begin feeling human again, much less anything approaching normal.

Do you have any friends who could get you out of the house, even for just a few minutes? I know you're very weak, but wouldn't it be nice to take just a short walk outside (if it's warm enough) away from your house and away from all the dirty dishes? Or maybe just a short ride to swing by a fast food joint and pick up something to eat that you've been craving. Just stick a little pillow between the seat belt and your belly and go.

Please talk to your kids. Maybe they just don't know what's expected of them without being told. I read an article not too long ago talking about how different kids are today than from previous generations with regard to the workforce. CEO's and managers and so on who had been in business for many years remarked how younger workers have a completely different work ethic and that they need to be given specific goals and tasks and need much more positive reinforcement. Not all kids are like that of course. Supposedly, the reason is that the current generation of 20 somethings and younger were brought up in a society that rewards everyone for everything. Everyone gets a certificate and pizza when the class scores wells on a test, not just the kids who scored well. No one is singled out for doing a great job.....it's a "group" effort and everyone is rewarded.

Sorry to ramble. I hope you feel better and start gaining more strength.

Thanks for the reply, kenzo. It meant the world to me.

Hubby who I am separated from came over and found me doing dishing bawling. He woke the entire house up. The dishes are done and I'm fed. And I didn't have to do any of it. <g> Thank God, I stopped crying. It hurt too much. lol