My last night as a LIW

Well, hopefully my last night, and boy is it a long one. I still have some issues to iron out with DD before I let her go in after the goodies, mainly ovaries. You'd think I'd be straight on this by now, but I'm not. I want them, she is inclined to lose them if she finds endo, which she strongly suspects. I have diagnosis for adeno via US, skipped any more tests, let's get this show on the road. We've been talking abdominal all along: first because I wanted to keep my cervix, then after I let her talk me out of that (I sound convinced, huh?) and she started talking endo, I wanted her to be sure to see and get it all. In a last minute check with insurance today, found out they have me approved for a TVH........ POSSIBLE TAH. Stressing possible. Their position is that they are approving a one night stay in the lovely castle, UNLESS she can make a viable medical determination for TAH. This may explain why, after much wrangling over the cervix and I gave in, that DD went right back to "we can do a vag." I suspect she precertified a vag to make it easier to get approval. I also wonder if she's really wanting to haul out my ovaries because she's afraid they won't go for a TAH and she figures if she takes them out, holds off on HRT for a few months, I will be cured, and she has avoided a fight with insurance.

Have no fear ladies, I WILL stick up for myself. After almost leaving a message with her service and calling the hospital to cancel, I've decided to at least show up. However, I'm not going to let anyone start an IV or give me any meds until we iron this out. If there is endo, I want it out, not a BSO unless the ovaries are damaged or completely covered, and I want to see the pathology report. One question though: surgery is scheduled for 10am, and I'm pretty sure I will see the anesth. long before I go to OR, but wondering if I will see DD before I hit the table. Hate to have this discussion that late in the game, but it's important to me. Heck, I'M the one who might go home with no ovaries here.

Okay, one more question: Be brutal. Is this a legitimate fear/ point of contention, or am I just in the throes of pre-op anxiety? Well, I know I have that, but do I sound just totally whacked????? My alternative is to walk out and wait another 6 months for another opinion and accompanying tests. 6 more months of pain...... I know I want a hyst, but I want it the way I want it..........

Thanks for being here, you guys, you are my last thread of sanity right now!!!!! AHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!

Karri
Normally quite easy-going and actually fun!

Karri, it's normal for you to have pre-op jitters and anxieties. But please do not allow them to stop you from going through with the coronation. You will feel a lot better once the coronation is over. So better to have the coronation tomorrow than waiting the next 6 months in agony and lots of regrets for not going through with it.

As for seeing your DD before the coronation, I don't know about your castle. In my case, I was wheeled on a gurney into the pre-op room where I was introduced to each member of the surgery team, including my gyn and anesthesiologist. My gyn and I then reviewed the surgery consent form. After that, I was wheeled into the coronation room. The next thing I knew, I was in the recovery room and already crowned!

Karri,
I don't know how you're even able to breathe with so much still up in the air. I'd be in the fetal position. I did not see my doctor until he joined me as I was being rolled into the OR.

I can't comment on the fact that you're thinking of postponing your surgery. I had a precancer and wanted everything out. Also had a dr who I liked and trusted.

I'll just wish you Good Luck and will be watching for your next post.

Thank you VKelly and EM. I am doing my deep breathing. Talked to my late DH's mom (she's really like my own mom) on the phone and that helped. Tried sleeping. It's apparently overrated. Yes, desperately trying to find my sense of humor, but I think I cleaned too much today and may have put it in someone's sock drawer. I AM feeling a little better. I will talk to DD no matter what, even if I have to wait til OR. She really is a nice woman, good doctor, and I don't doubt her technical abilities. I am just in horrible mourning at the thought I might wake up with no ovaries and not much time has passed since it was first mentioned. I haven't had time to digest, let alone embrace. Scared of HRT since I had so many side effects from the BC we tried first. I like being in control of myself and my situation. Yes, definitely Type A person. I find it easy to make hard decisions, but have trouble letting someone else make a call that will intimately affect me. EM, if i knew I were in your shoes, I'd haul all the goods out in a heartbeat without a second thought or glance back. You definitely did the right thing.

I hope you both continue to do well, thank you again so very much. So tell me, two ladies who've been there, done that, was the house still clean when you got home??????

Karri
wanting diamond encrusted crown now......

I just joined this message board and I am certainly even more undecided about what to do! And probably not so knowledgeable. I just read your lines and I don't understand your condition or reason for your operation, but it just strikes me immediately that you should not go ahead with an operation until you feel more at ease with what you will do - or the doctor! Is there any risk with waiting just a little bit more so you can have time to consider all the angles? Maybe you will feel much better when you go ahead with it then? I just posted a question on the pre-op board and am wondering how long it takes to maybe get some answers?? My operation is Monday. All the best of luck to you. Hillevi

Hi again, Hillevi,

I am 40, have 4 children (3 sons still at home), and have been working my way to a hyst since a doc first said he thought Adenomyosis 5 yrs ago based on symptoms and pelvic exam, and said I should probably start thinking about it as it doesn't get better with time. I put it off then (just through my DH's death from cancer, really not into the hospital scene again yet), but symptoms, mostly pain, continued to progress until now I am sometimes having cramps at least a part of the day for up to 2 weeks before my period, bad back pain accompanying, and heavy bleeding (flooding) the first 2 days to where I don't really go anywhere if I don't have to. Since I re-married a wonderful man 2 yrs ago, not feeling good started to become an issue for me. I had a reason to feel good more than a week or two a month, if you get my drift............!!! Tried BC pills. Too many side effects. After MUCH reading realized that there might be some stop-gap measures, a hyst was the only way to rid myself of pain, and when I finally reconciled myself to it, I wanted to get it done with as few more invasive tests as possible and wanting to feel better and be in decent shape for this summer (avid boater wants to feel like sitting at the dock and ordering the crew around in a couple of months). Adeno has been confirmed on US, but a week or so ago, DD throws in endo as well, saying she would be very surprised NOT to find it. She wants to take ovaries to guarantee my pain will be gone. I am rather attached to them still, though if there is damage or obviously cancer, she can have it all no questions asked. I would just rather leave them, even if they might be a little involved and take my chances knowing I could always go back later and take them, but I can't ever put them back once they're gone.

I told my dear MIL this: it's like painting your house. You talked about white, grew to like white, imagined white, were expecting white, then the painter shows up and says I could only get grey, but it's real close to white. He paints a hundred houses a year, I only get to live in one. I need to have it painted, will even do it grey if there's a good reason why I can't ever get white paint again, but just because they were out today is not reason enough.

Hey, that was a good analogy, huh? Not even 6 am, too. Oh forgive me, I am woozy from insomnia. I WILL be okay. This board is the greatest.

Love and hugs to all,

Karri

Karri,

My thoughts are with you. I think it's natural to feel this anxiety and jitters prior to. I'm about 6 weeks away from coronation and am confused,too. I think everyone has some doubts to a point and that's a good thing because it is our bodies - we want to be sure we're doing the right thing and our doctors are looking out for our best interests.

Hate to see you go through 6 more months of pain. Is it worth it? Bet you'll feel so much better when this is all behind you. Have faith - it will all work out.

Prayers and best wishes - you're in my thoughts.

Karri,
I've been reading your post and thought I'd put my feelings in.
I'm 43 and scheduled for TAH/LSO on April 10.
I too was uneasy about losing ovary I have left.
Doc confided he could try to save it but it was unlikely it would survive the trauma of removing cysts. Now we know it would be next to impossible. He told he that when an ovary is traumatized it frequently will die or atrophy causing further surgery necessary. I for one want as little surgery as possible!
From what I understand, if someone has endo it will most likely recur if ovaries are left in place. Something about the cell structure of them being a preferred place for endo to grow. If you have endo on your ovaries already, you can count on it coming back and more pain in the future.
I too have been diagnosed with adenomyosis (within uterus). It is of the same family as endo but is invading the muscle of the wall of the uterus.
It sounds to me like you are just very scared of surgery, so am I!
I've had well over a month to mull out the insecurities and after reading till I have had headaches, I've accepted my doctor's advice.
On the other hand, I have heard of many women going in expecting to lose everything (uterus and ovaries) and come out with a pleasant surprise that their doc saved at least one ovary.
The cervix issue I can understand her wanting to remove it as adenomyosis is within the uterus and the cervix is the lower part (entrance) of the uterus.
I hope this helps you! Talk to your doctor. Explain your fears and I'm sure your questions will be answered.
(((hugs)))
Susan

Just thought you needed a few hugs here. That great sense of humor you have will get you through anything!
{{{{{{{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}}}}}}

kaatie

Re the decision of keeping the ovaries - it is totally up to you. And even if she suspects Endo, there is no guarantee that taking the ovaries out will kill the endo. I've had endo since I can remember.

I go in on April 10. Wish it was sooner. But even with the endo, my Dr wants to leave my ovaries and just clean them off. He said that we can always go in and remove them later in a lap - no need to even put me fully under. However - I am only 31. If I were 5-8 years older he would want to take them.

And don't worry about the insurance. They will cover it if the Dr writes the post-op report correctly.

I sure wouldn't wait another 6 months if you are miserable. Put I don't know your pain level. I control mine with about 10 T3 each day.