Well, had my official breakdown this morning

My dh actually found this site and signed me up for it!!! Now he is doing the critizing and distancing routine. I feel even more alone. This was such a good idea someone had for "sisters" to connect.
Fan of purple
Operation is next Tuesday. Uterine cancer....

Sometimes DHs can be sooo dense. I tried talking to him about my fears but he cut me off. I think he & ds are in for a shock when Mom is out of commission. One thing I am waiting for is his sister to call & suggest that ds & I not go to the cottage until I am able to drive because I have been the "designated driver" for dh's parent for the last several summers. As well as the cook & dishwasher. Not that she can help out, she works so hard (3 days a week), never mind that I work full time all school year.
Right now I am getting nervious about the surgery & feeling overwhelmed by all I want to get done before then.

Penny,
It seems our families are related Everyone (except my dh) seems to think that I'm making too big of a deal about this surgery.... my dh thinks I'm not taking it serious enough... can't win either way SIGH. Anyhow, I'm right there with you on the nervous part.... I'm loosing it more and more each day.

I'm scheduled for this Thursday -- and I think our fears are only natural. The great unknown! Think about all the things you were scared to do the first time but then, once it was over, you wondered why it was so BIG beforehand.

We know why -- it's new and confusing and frustrating and makes us tough girls feel a little weak. Sounds like most of us are definitely not used to being in that role. And it really stinks.

But if we set emotions aside for one second (I can't believe I'm actually saying that -- not easy for me to do!) and look at the statistics, then maybe that will help a little.

A vast majority of us will be better than ever from a health standpoint. A vast majority of us will look better. Heck, we'll even save a few bucks from not having to buy pads, tampons and Midol anymore! And most of us will probably be in those heavenly helper shoes a month from now quelling someone else's fears during this crazy waiting game. (Personally, I can't wait for that day to finally come!)

Most important, whether we get all of our stuff done beforehand or not, we'll get through it. We're women for God's sake! We're meant to get through it because the rest of 'em wouldn't survive without us (c'mon...you know that's true!).

I've definitely had my share of fears and tears. But I am so thankful that this is one of those surgeries that they've done a million of. Thanks to those sisters who have gone before us to help OUR doctors be that much better at it!

And although I'm not looking forward to one ounce of pain, I'm pretty sure I'll feel it. And I don't want to depend on anyone to make me OK, but that's my reality. I'm gonna need some attention.

So that's my "get tough sisters!" speech for the day. I hope you won't make fun of me when I'm probably online blubbering like a crazy person the night before my castle trip!

Hugs to all -- you ARE loved and cared for!
Cat

Cat,

Don't worry, none of us will make fun of you . I think we're all entitled to OUR "I'm loosing it" day! I can feel mine coming. Anyway, I truly enjoyed reading your post... it made me smile . I haven't done that too much this afternoon... I seem to be on the down side of things , but I'm in there. Try not to laugh at me too much on tuesday... since I'll be leaving so early on the big day, I'll probably get all my frantic stuff out before then... only time will tell.

I just wish I could keep a train of thought... i can't think straight anymore!

Cat

You are awsome, great pep talk.

Don't worry if you need to cry later we will be here for ya.

s

I can sympathize with the family reactions. It is unbelivalbe that family members can react in such unusual ways. In my case both my adult sons acted like this was day surgery! The oldest in the military (home on a planned leave after returning from Iraq-not for my surgery) and the youngest living at home and going to college. They took the oportunity to party and spend time together visiting me only once in the hospital. They are my only family. Then the day after I came home my youngest (who promised to help out during my recovery) moved out with out consulting me! He came home one time to pick up his mail!! Luckily I have a wonderful SO (Shawn). He and his 73 YO mom took care of me. I know that my boys couldn't have understook the impact of their behavior. The youngest told a mutual friend that he was embarassed about my surgery. I don't understand?

My good friend had a hysterectomy 6 months ago. I didn't have a clue! I went to see her in the hospital, but that's all. Now that I have gone through it, I understand fully! She has been there for me because she can relate to the emotions etc. I feel bad at times that I was not there for her. I just didn't have a clue until I went through it.
I just think that your sisters and family may not understand. If you are like me, I keep everything inside and then it comes gushing out in one big flood.
My advice is to make sure you express your struggles to your family. Alot of times, they want to help, but just need to know how. Or they may feel like you are handling things just fine, unless you tell them different. I called my sisters before my surgery just to cry and have someone to talk to, but they didn't call me.

I never knew the anxiety and stress that comes before surgery until I went through it. That's why I love hystersisters. We have been through it.

bessiejo