Thought I was fine, but starting to worry

I found this board a few weeks ago when I first found out I should have surgery (such a short time ago) and I haven't been on here because I thought it's not a big deal, since I made the decision what to remove (both ovaries) and I'll handle it just fine.

But yesterday, when I went to the hospital for pre-admittance testing, I felt like I walked into a strange and foreign place, this castle.

I have virtually no medical history until now. Only been in the hospital for the birth of my 3 kids. And, visits as 3 parents passed through, the last about 6 years ago.

I totally control my every minute, direct everything and am responsible for so many things.

Yesterday, I felt weird. Like I was walking into this unknown place. It's definitely the feeling of the unknown - a place that I have no control over! No say at all, really! Or, little, anyway. I think it's the control thing that feels weird that I have to surrender all of. Could that be true?

So, I guess I'm feeling really vulnerable. How should I get my mind together and just go with the flow?

Susan,
I too will be going to the castle soon, Dec 7 to be exact. I know exactly how you feel. I've had little minor things done in the same day unit but never like this. If I ever stayed more than a day I ususally brought home a baby! ( 3 of them ). This is majorly different. I can't explain exactly how but we're going in with something and leaving without it. We won't have that control over certain things. That's scary. I'm afraid of waking up from the anesthesia and of hurting. We just have to let our docs and anesthisist know our fears and they will take good care of us!

I'm having the same problem. It's almost 2 1/2 weeks before I go and I'm already getting really nervous when I think about it. I have tried to do other things to push my visit to the castle back in my mind, but as soon as I stop what I'm doing there it is again. It's always in the back of my mind.

With all that said, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I'm a nurse and I know what will happen, but it's different when it's YOU! We can begin maintaing some kind of control by getting our recovery rooms ready. Begin preparing some meals and freezing them for our family. It also helps to stay hooked up to this web site when the nervousness hits. I'm looking forward to the time off of work and away from the hustle and bustle. Spending Christmas with my family. It's the first time in 22 yrs that I've had the holidays off completely! I'm pretty pumped about that. Hang in there my sister!
I've rattled enough.



Blessings!
Janie

Hi Susan and Janie

What you are feeling is totally normal. This is major surgery so feeling nervous is what most of us felt.

I can tell you my personality was the same. Incharge and in control yup that is me. I got worried at the end to. I made it the waiting is the worst. Okay I know you have heard that hundreds of times. But it is true. Before you know it , it will be all behind you. I can honestly say I thrilled with the results and I am 9 weeks post op. No back pain or cramping and no long heavy periods. The waiting and recovery was worth it for the new me.

You both have time to get your Christmas shopping done and get your houses ready. So do that, you will be happy you did.

I know you both are going to do great!

Read everything you can to get yourself ready. And visit us here often!!!!!!!!! Post away Susan it really helps.

Take care

Hello LIWs!

I think ALL of us have felt the way you do right now. The fear of the unknown; the feeling of not having complete control of a situation. Perfectly normal.

The only suggestion I have is that, since you've got it on your mind, Keep Your Eye On The Prize!!! Turn those thoughts and fears into looking ahead to when you are home from the castle, relaxing and taking a long restful break from your sometimes stressful routine, and from the rest of the world. As you are getting your 'nest' ready for your convalescence, picture yourself there having a nice, smooth recovery, and being pampered!

And I know you will not forget that we, your sisters, are here for you!
s,

There are some things you can do to assert your control -

Write down any specific instructions for your doctor. You will have a chance to review them with her/him before the operation. (For me these were what to do if ovaries were healthy, what to do if they weren't, etcetera, and also to take pictures for me to see after).

Get your advance directives in order before you go. I did that, and it eased my mind. Bring copies with you to the hospital on your big day.

Always COMMUNICATE how you are feeling, before and after you wake up, so the nurses can respond and help you. Don't feel guilty about asking for help, that's what nurses love to do!

When you are stationed in your hospital room you will be in control of your call button, your bed-goes-up-and-down button, your TV button, your telephone (room service), your lights... Enjoy those small things, but also enjoy relaxing and letting people wait on you! It ain't bad!

Best wishes
viola

Hi Susan,
I can relate to the weirdness of the castle. I had great confidence in the doctors and the hospital and they did not let me down. Thanks to this site I was well prepared mentally and emotionally for the big day.

After the first hours you will probably also be able to control how much you drink (lots) and how often you are up and around the room or the halls.

During the first hours you will not want to control anything (except perhaps pain). You will sleep most of this time and probably not remember much from when you are awake.

Use your control skills to prepare your recovery room, organize things you will want to use at home, stock up on thank yous, stamps, etc.

I'm almost 2 weeks post and am doing much better than I expected! Hang in there. Jan