dh

Has anyone seen a change in their husband/partner before surgery? Mine seems distant - almost like he doesn't care about me anymore?

Yes, I think it was my dh way of dealing with his worries. I had a gentle talk with him about what I needed him to do and say. It helped alot. He was able to say that this was hard for him, too. It brought us closer when I realized he was only acting strange because he was having a hard time.

I hope your problem is the same as ours was. Once the communication started we both did better.

I feel like mh DH is acting like nothing is going on. He says the right things most of the time. However, he doesn't seem to interested in going to my doc appts. I think this is tough for everyone involved and it will be okay as long as you talk about it.

I do talk alot about it so I think he doesn't have any questions...

My husband and I had an emotional breakdown after my surgery, we talked alot about it before, but I don't think he really understood the magnatude of the actual hyst. We have no children and we were facing a form of grieving. DH only sees the external scare and forgets i had over 300 stitches internally and thinks I can bounce right back to my old self because I am back at work. I am 10 weeks post op, generally doing very well, get very tired and cry but no more pain. He is slowly comming around and we are starting to talk again. I think maybe your DH is concerned about your well being and everything to do with this particular surgery and men have a strange way of expressing their feelings, he may just be scared like you but afraid to ask. Gently hug him and say how much you care about him and that everything will be alright and you will be a better person after this is over.

my dh tries to assure me everything will be ok, I ask him alot if he has any questions, he usually sais no, I gave him the website, so if he has any questions he wants to ask he can look here for answers, he told me tonight , when I asked him if he realized it was only 2 weeks and a couple days away he said, right now Im concentrating on our trip( Vegas, next frifay) and relaxing and spending time together, I think we will have a heart to heart the weekend we get back, there wont be time after that!! I go in tuesday after to be punctured :rotf:
but give him time, and the opertunity, and he (hopefully will talk to you about his feers!!
Good luck
we are here for you

Sheila

Yes - it's a "man thing"! My DBF is the same way, like he walks on eggshells around me. Of course, I'm a little tense too, so I think that only makes it worse. Just keep in mind that they have our best interests at heart and are only trying to say and do the "right" things!