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Racing Thoughts
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02-03-2010, 10:08 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 46
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Racing Thoughts
I am scheduled for a TAH on Feb. 16th. Ever since I had it scheduled my mind has been racing with all kinds of what if's. My DH is taking off of work for 2 months just to help me. He has taken money he was saving for a boat for him and paid all the bills for the next 2 months so he can be here to help. Our 20th Wedding Anniversary is March 26th and he wants to take me to a chalet in the Mountains and renew our vows. Doc has ok'ed it barring no major problems with surgery and of course no Sexual intercourse. I am feeling so unworthy right now like I don't derserve any help like I am letting him down. We have 3 beautiful girls and have had a pretty good marriage so why am I feeling so worthless right now? Is it a normal process of getting a hysterectomy? I take Paxil for an anxiety issue should I up the dose? I am so lost and cofused right now lol I would appreciate any input
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02-03-2010, 11:11 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,737
Hysterectomy: August 14th, 2009
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
Hi and ! It sounds like you have a great support system in place!
If you are feeling unworthy because you think this little ol' hysterectomy is no big deal, think again. It truly is a major surgery and the recovery does require lots of time. So, you deserve the special attention you are getting and you should not feel guilty!
The anxiety you are feeling is normal and could be adding to your feelings of worthlessness. This is a difficult time, the waiting period, and you will find that most of us have more trouble now than we do post-surgery. If you think you need to up the dose of Paxil, talk to your doctor about that.
But, rest assured that all the feelings you are having are normal and you have come to a great place for women supporting women. Keep on sharing your feelings with us and we will hold your hand through the process.
I wish you all the best!
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02-03-2010, 05:32 PM
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Posts: 6,717
Hysterectomy: September 9th, 2009
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Before my surgery I was an emotional wreck. My mind would race and I tried to talk myself out of it even though I was in pain. When I woke up, I was surprised it was easier than I thought and no major complications. You have a great support system and you will need the help. It takes time to recover from this and it is not minor surgery. But yes, this is normal. I think we have all been there and gone through it. Now that I am on the other side I can laugh at my fears. Sending tons of hugs.
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02-03-2010, 07:02 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 133
Hysterectomy: March 31st, 2010
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Undecided
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Re: Racing Thoughts
Dear free_in_ky,
My surgery is scheduled for March 31st and I too am experiencing the same kind of feelings. I do feel like I'm letting everyone down. I have done everything for my family(DH and 4 kids) for years to take care of them and my thoughts of not being able to do that for awhile after surgery are haunting me....I kinda feel like I am in a way abandoning them. I also have thoughts like what if something goes wrong...what will happen to everyone....One thing that sticks in my mind is will my DH see me as damaged goods after my surgery. I asked this question and he said" Are u seriously asking me that? I would never see you as that I love you...stop worrying babe everything is gonna be fine!" So you see your not the only one that worries and gets anxious...I would say its normal and that most of us feel this way. And remember we are here to support each other through it all.
God Bless
Julie
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02-03-2010, 08:07 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: December 22nd, 2009
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
Ladies try to relax, as zeny said, we been there, I worried from how will this household run with me being down, to whether I can please my husband, to who was gonna carry in the groceries. I have a son who is disabled wheelchair bound, and son in high school at home, my hubby only got 4 1/2 days off work, so I tryed using anxiety days being more productive as in writting out schedules, what needed done, who does what, I cooked meals ahead and froze, did all my shopping before I went to the hospital, laundry was done. It did help.
the worthlessness is common, but found after I got home, it was much easier. You will be awake, you still have a part in the family, just they get to catter to you. Except it with pleasure. They are showing you the support and love you show them.
It is your time now to let someone do something for you.
As for the boat, look at all the sanitary items you wont have to buy, and your hubby will have a new boat soon. lol
Honestly, for your hubby to take the money pay the bills ahead, and take the time off, I appraise him!! Look at it this way cuddle time, enjoy each other and let him hold your hand and experience this together not alone, write your concerns down, talk to your dr, keep a diary from now to the end of your journey. You will be suprised what you read later.
Lizzy, No woman is damaged goods, I looked at myself with all the bleeding and tiredness and the emotions before as damaged goods, now I am a happier person, no bleeding and hopefully back to full speed soon, now I am a new person, not damaged. Please dont feel your damaged. And it sounds like hubby is supportive and he doesnt see you that way either. I bet hes waiting on the new you.
Ladies keep talking here, post when you want or need to, let the sisters here guide you and hold her hand thru the smiles and tears. They are wonderful. and definately go read the humor section You know you have had a hysterectomy when: it is hilarious and will keep you rolling. You may not understand them now, but you will as soon as your home. lol
There is a round table meeting , if you can attend, please try, I think you will find it helpful.
plus please please read the do's and dont's in post ops. These are what the dr's forget to tell you.
hugs
Have a good night.
Denise
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02-04-2010, 04:14 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 46
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
Thank guys all the information you have given has been so helpful! I have started making lists and that has helped tremendously. I have also talked to my Dr. again and that has put some fears to rest. I did have them up my paxil so we will see how that goes. One thing I can say I am SO GREATFUL to have found this site and am so thankful to have angels to help me thorugh
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02-04-2010, 05:28 PM
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Posts: 6,717
Hysterectomy: September 9th, 2009
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
I would definitely agree with the statement that you are not damaged goods. Before I had the surgery, I could barely function on some days. Work felt like a nightmare because I was struggling with pain and the medicine given to help. Since the operation, despite some setbacks, I have felt better in general. I have more energy and feel like I can do more. Believe me, we have all been through this. It is normal. I have a feeling that after the surgery you will feel much better. Good luck with this. Sending lots of hugs/
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02-04-2010, 06:35 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 82
Hysterectomy: February 10th, 2010
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
Good luck tomorrow free_in_ky, I wish you the best road to recovery. Which hospital will you be going to? As you can see I'm from Indiana- so we are close. I'm going in for a TVH next week and some possible bladder correction. So maybe we can chat while we are both recovering!
Wishing you the best!!!!
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02-05-2010, 06:35 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 46
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Racing Thoughts
Aseretyar - I will be in Owensboro for my surgery on the 16th
Zen - I was feeling like I would be damaged goods until once again DH stepped in and said he couldn't wait until this was over so we could actually have a normal sex life again without pain bleeding etc. I am so lucky to have him
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02-05-2010, 09:04 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 194
Hysterectomy: January 18th, 2010
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
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Re: Racing Thoughts
All of these worries and concerns are so hard to handle hey? And then you start worrying that you're worrying and fretting. It's amazing how a looming hysterectomy sends us caregivers into that tailspin. All of a sudden, the roles are reversed, and we are being cared for. Kudos to your hubby for setting all of those lovely things in place for you. Just think, all the troubles and concerns leading up to the hysterectomy will soon be behind you and your life, as you know it, will resume. It is scary and it causes us caregivers to head into the tailspin of beat-up. Believe me, I had surgery on Jan 18/10, and I am feeling anything but the sexy, perky self I am. As each day passes, I start to feel a little more like myself. I look forward to the day I can get into my prep-op jeans, put a little bit of warpaint on and get out the god forsaken door for an evening out with my amazing husband. Those of us with significant others are very fortunate as this isn't an easy road for all involved. But things DO start to turn around, day by day. Stay strong and heal well.
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