Afraid

I cried a little last night. I had been weepy all day, and after my parents left, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I started to cry, but it was very minimal. I want to have a good cry, but all I can muster out is a few tears. I am emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. My sister-in-law had a beltaed birthday party today because her birthday was last Saturday, and since I live in VA and we had been hit by Hurrican isabel, they had no power in their home to have the party. I did not go. I have a small head cold, but I did not want to put on a happy face and pretend I was in a good mood because I am not. And being in this mood, I did not want to take away from my sister-in-law's day by being depressed, so I did not go. I had my hair trimmed yesterday...it hasn't looked good in a while, but even this did not perk me up. I was so tense in my body, I had a body massage this morning, which did relieve some of the tension. I am just sad right now, and I have a right to be. I am so tired of explaining to people why I am in a bad mood.

I will be staying at least 2 weeks at my parents' home after my surgery. This is not what I had in mind by way of being pampered, but I'll take it. My mom is coming over to my apartment this upcoming weekend to dust my place and help me straighten up, to a degree. The night before I am spending the night. I have to be at the hospital 2 hours prior (surgery= 7:30am; arrival time= 5:30am)

I have a lot to do in a short span of time. This last week better go fast. I just wnat to wake up and it be surgery day!

Wow!

What a wonderful thread. So many good suggestions. I was incredibly nervous and scared to death. As my day approaches I am getting calmer.

I took 5 hours Friday and basted a quilt that I want to work on while I'm recovering. It was amazing how good I felt after 5 hours of peace and quiet. There was no rushing from here to there. No ringing phone, no lists to make, no house to clean, no laundry to do.

I thought about things good and bad. I cried. And I was more at peace when I finished than I have been.

So take some time for yourself. Maybe a bubble bath or a long walk. Find a quiet place to center yourself and find peace.

Keep us posted. This website will help you.