Just whining....

Reading the posts on here I have decided I stink at picking OB/GYNs. When I was having babies the doctors that delivered the first two made me cry- and it was different doctors both times. Now granted it doesn't take much to make a mom who is 9 month preggers cry but still. At that time a lot of women were induced when they were really close to delivery and they scheduled the dates- especially with the military shipping out schedules. No my doc was going to be nice enough to induced me 2 weeks late and 1 day before the ship was scheduled to deploy. (No family nearby beside dh too.) With #3 ds the doctor let me go 3 weeks over before he induced me. The one who took out my ovary told me (and that is just his manner he is blunt and honest) "If you don't loose weight you will die." Now that I'm scheduling the hyster I get the doctor who believes this is a routine thing and kind of gave me the opinion that I was being a wimp for feeling 6 weeks was the time frame to take off also I'm scared to death that they are going to discharge me before I'm ready. I'm not one that switches doctors once I've made a decision so not switching docs. I just needed to whine a little. They are/were all great doctors however I just stink at picking the ones that carry sympathy for women. For the record... yes they were all male OB/GYN's.

Here was my one male Gyn experience...(Background, until this started I'd only had a few pelvics because PTSD made them impossible. Thank God I found a doctor who is wonderful with PTSD before this started). With my current doctor I have a level of trust that has let me tolerate things that I couldn't have dreamed of 2 years ago. I even had my Mirena removed with an adult speculum (I always have peds) in the office without anxiety meds. She is perfect for me.

One time last summer I had been bleeding so heavily that I thought I probably was anemic enough for treatment and I was concerned about the heaviness. My doctor wasn't available and they asked if I'd see a male doctor. I said fine but no pelvics; I could get my family dr's partner to do a pelvic if needed. I got here, did the nurse thing and then was told to undress from the wait down. I said no, not for a male dr. and that I was told that would not happen and wouldn't have come up if I weren't told otherwise. At this point I was scheduled for hysteroscopy/laparoscopy/polyp removal/etc and was about 4 weeks away from it. My dr. was doing part of it but doesn't do many hysteroscopies and so she brought in one of the heads of the dept. who is one of the big experts on hysteroscopy to do that part. So the plans that existed were not made lightly or just on the basis of a guess.

The male dr. came in and lectured me about needing to get my PTSD treated, that I needed to be able to handle these things without being so upset, and besides this wasn't the best course of action. I was sobbing (which I do not do with anyone but my therapist) when the nurse came back in. She was mad that I'd been told he wouldn't examine me given my description of my issues to the receptionist. She she's found my dr. who said "that's ridiculous, I had 2 cancellations and she should always be on my list anyway". She came in and talked to me for a minute, did the exam, ordered labs and I asked her about what the male dr. had meant about "not the best course of action". She got really serious (I think angry at him) and said simply that he'd been heading down the hysterectomy road and there was so many things to try first. I was so thankful that he wasn't my doctor or I never would have had a trial of alternatives to the hysterectomy. Now I know I need it. A year ago I would have always wondered.

It did convince me that my feelings that most men are not equipped for gyn care were right. I would allow my family doctor to do a pelvic because I'm very comfortable with him but he has large fingers and I have vaginismus mildly. It would be very painful.

I know I am so fortunate to have my gyn. but I don't know how you find someone like her. (Funny thing is that she doesn't do many gyn patients because she's a urogynecologist. I went to her with a "uro" issue and asked to continue with her because it let me get exams done.

I haven't had a surgeon who wasn't caring before but I worked in healthcare for many years. Some doctors don't hear what you are saying until you've said it many, many times. There were some doctors I dealt with in home health who I'd call the office several times, fax several more and never get the most minor thing done. Repition and pretending you'd never said it before tended to work the best.