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Please need your opinion on this
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01-05-2002, 12:14 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 8
Hysterectomy: December 12th, 2001
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Please need your opinion on this
Hello Ladies:
I am new to this site. It is such a great site for emotional support as well as informative. I had my surgery on Dec. 12, 2001, only ketp the ovaries. I am feeling okay so far, except my stitiches are still very soar. After my surgery, my sis-in-law called me up to say that they had a visiting relative from London, England. They wanted to bring her to visit us from Toronto but since I had surgery to they rather not disturb me. I told them to visit me anytime since DH and kids would be home to entertain them and I would be resting. On New Years Day, SIL calls me and tells me that since I did not call back, they did not visit me which indicated that I was not feeling well. I am quite hurt to hear this. I had told SIL a few times to visit me even I was not well. Now she throws it on to me to have called her to come down. What should I do. How should I reply when I meet SIL in the near future. Relatives have no consideration for a person with surgery. Please. sisters, can I have your opinion on this. How would you have reacted to SIL's phone call.
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01-05-2002, 12:42 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 51
Hysterectomy: December 17th, 2001
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yikes
Hi Horse,
I'm sorry to hear about that. Some people don't get it. I bet she may not have understood the situation. Maybe throw the ball back in her court- and tell her that you are sorry to have missed the visit and your non-response was mistakenly mis-interpreted. Sometimes in-laws are the hardest to deal with. Maybe just leave it as a big "oops" and let her know you need more communication.
We had MAJOR surgery, here, things won't be back to speed for a long time. I feel for you, having unsupportive relatives.
Just got to educate them and hope for the best. I have some relatives who want me to travel in a few weeks- I had to take a hard line and be "uncool" and let them know it just won't be possible for me.
Hang in there- may mercy be with you.
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01-05-2002, 03:56 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 42
Hysterectomy: October 16th, 2001
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My take is this...
She blew it and knows she blew it and is deflecting her responsiblity
onto you. You do NOT have to accept it! You have a couple of choices,
you can call her on the carpet or let her think she got by with a slick
one. But then never let her get away with it again! No doubt this isn't
a first offense by her, these type of people do this all the time. In the
future push her for a committment on anything she calls about - get a
date and time from her or make her say to you "I will call you back with
the particulars" - something like this "Ok, tell me when you will call me
with the date and time" and then it is clear that she must call you. If
you are worried what others in your family might be thinking, well, they
probably know her too, don't ya think? Those you are close to you can
tell the truth to without seeming 'catty', you know? But bottom line
here is that the chance to see the visiting relatives is LONG gone and
she blew it, NOT you!! Let it go and PLAN for ways to keep her from
continuing to mess things up for you. Now, settle in and continue to
rest yourself and heal!! Let her GO - get her OUT of your mind and worries,
it will only slow your healing. "Ahhh-ooommmm" - yoga chant for peace..
:-)
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