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Feeling discouraged..
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07-31-2005, 07:44 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: June 14th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
Hello all and thank you for stopping by my note.
Although my recovery has gone well, I find myself lately (about the last week) feeling discouraged at times. I had a TAH on June 14th and am currently taking 3 drops twice daily of Bi-Est. I get weepy fairly easy still.. (like last week at the post office when I went to mail a package to Germany which contained some shower gel and the post office person told me I needed to double-wrap it and then come back... I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes so I scampered for the door - thinking OhMyGod.. this is silly Lori - stop it!!
Okay, you get the idea on the weepies.. But, overall, the Bi-est is helping.
Anyway, I just get wondering if I'm ever going to be "normal" again, was the surgery worth it? Did I make the right decision? Currently divorced (age 46) and sometimes think that no-man will want me now, missing organs and hormonal - oh boy...
So, any uplifting encouraging words would be much appreciated...........
Hugs,
Lori
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07-31-2005, 08:01 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 53
Hysterectomy: April 26th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Undecided
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Feeling discouraged..
((Lori))
All I can say is "I hear ya!" I think we need to be kind to ourselves and realize that healing physically and emotionally takes time. I'm also divorced and wonder sometimes if I'm damaged goods--I also have a scar on my neck from thyroid surgery years ago and my tired mind sometimes fixates on my scars and thinks "Ugly!"
That's nonsense, of course! A real man, deserving of my love(and yours) would see them as evidence of a "real life." Stuff happens,a nd sometimes it leaves a scar!
Not sure how much help my ramblings are, but I just wanted to let you know that I understand,and I know things will get better with time!
becky
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07-31-2005, 08:47 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 236
Hysterectomy: June 7th, 2005
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Feeling discouraged..
Bella,
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I think we all do at one time or another. As far as a man not wanting you because of you hyst., that's just crazy thoughts from your feeling down. Unless the future man wants children, it should make no differance whatsoever. There's no worry of unwanted pregnancys or miserable periods to deal with :0
Jean
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07-31-2005, 09:13 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 473
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
Lori
I'm sorry you are feeling low!
What is your % of estriol/estradiol in the Bi-est?
I think the drs start with 90/10, but some women have posted that they've had to up their % to 60% estriol/40% estradiol. Maybe a call to the dr could change the dosage and improve your sadness?
Estriol is the weakest of all three estrogens, so you may need to balance that out with a slightly stronger one (Estradiol).
Re: no man wanting you
That's just your sad mind playing games on you.
Once you get your happy mind back in place, you'll realize that you are very lovable and many men will enjoy your company (and whew, no more horrible periods!)
Are you trying some vaginal estrogen yet?
I had to wait 6 wks until I could use any vaginal estrogen, and am currently using Vagifem (a tiny tablet inserted at bedtime). It has greatly improved my vaginal and bladder areas. Even women who take systemic estrogen (pill, patch, cream), some still need the vaginal form to help that lower area recover!
Without estrogen the vag/bladder walls thin, causing some problems!
I do recall getting weepy post-op and thinking that I've broken my body and can't get it back to normal.
I'm now 9 wks post-op and feeling much better!!
I still get sad at times...as I just remarried a younger man w/o kids, and we had plans of trying to have some. Had the hysterectomy 10 days after the wedding, due to hemorrhaging! My DH loves me just the same - says he'd rather have me healthy, we'll figure the kid thing out some other way!
Shoozie
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07-31-2005, 09:14 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 156
Hysterectomy: June 21st, 2005
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
Girls,who you are doesn't have anything to do with whether or not you have a uterus or ovaries.A man can't tell first of all.I could see you feeling that way if you didn't have a vagina ,but you are still beautiful,desirable women,ok? About the thyroid scar,my Mom and Sis both had that surgery and it fades after awhile so its hardly noticeable.Guys don't look at that sort of thing anyway.Again, you are still beautiful.I toyed with the "not being a woman" thing last week myself.I kept thinking about it and then, I recalled several of my friends who had a hysterectomy and their husbands have said they are sexier now and their sex life better because there is no more periods,no more PMS,no more cramps,etc... That is what turns them off.As far as crying goes,that is going to get better too.Please don't feel bad about yourselves girls,really, its going to be ok,I promise. -Marsha
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07-31-2005, 09:32 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: June 14th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
Becky,
Thank you so much for your note - I really appreciated your words. Yes, I too think "damaged goods" and such at times too. (whaaaaa)... Take care now! Lori
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07-31-2005, 09:37 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: June 14th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
Hi Shoozie! Thanks so much for your note! I don't know what mix I'm on and I haven't tried the vaginal pill you mention. I do see my doctor on Tuesday and have list of questions - I just added the dosage and the vaginal pill to the list!
I'm coming up on my 8th week, so hopefully I'll just keep feeling better. I'm really sorry to hear about the kid-thing, that must be difficult and I'm excited for you that you have a loving hubby that understands (does he have a single brother??) (grin)
It's a uphill climb isn't it? (to get better and back to snuff).. Thanks again for your reply! It made me smile (and tear-up too of course!)
Hugs,
Lori
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07-31-2005, 09:39 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: June 14th, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
{{Marsha}},
Thanks so much for your encouraging words - I needed them! You are right of course with the whole man thing, sometimes the gray stormy cloud lands on my head
Thanks again!
Lori
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07-31-2005, 09:48 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 473
Hysterectomy:
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Feeling discouraged..
Lori,
Let me mention one more thing to consider..
Are you focusing on eating well and adding diet supplements?
For the past 9 wks post-op I've been taking:
>a good multi vitamin (don't laugh here.. it's a prenatal vitamin! HAHAHAHA...how ironic? But it's got nearly 100% of most of the vitamins/minerals all in one pill!)
*in fact, it has the all-important mood vitamins: those B vitamins!!
>1500 mg calcium (w/D)
*1500 is recommended for women post-menopause w/o HRT
>Vitamin E complex (important to take the "complex") 400IU
>Omega-3
And I add in fermented soy powder.. mix into two fruit smoothies per day (that's my phytoestrogen I guess)
Vitamins don't work right away, but I've been pretty faithful to take these every day for 9 wks and finally feel pretty great!
Though I did need the vaginal estrogen!
There are 3 types: Vagifem (small tablet preloaded in applicators), Estrace (cream, I didn't want the mess), Estring (a ring that stays in the vagina for 3 months at a time). Each of these are supposed to stay localized and not get into the bloodstream in any big measurable amounts (so won't relieve hot flashes), but they sure do improve the bladder (whew, no incontinence for me..and I was headed that way!) and the vagina walls!
YES... HE HAS A SINGLE BROTHER
But..he lived in my home for 3 yrs and I'd not readily recommend this guy to anyone.
Shoozie
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08-01-2005, 12:23 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 396
Hysterectomy: June 23rd, 2005
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Feeling discouraged..
I find that some days I feel really discouraged and weepy, even though I kept my ovaries. Every time I hear an On-star commercial on the radio or TV I start bawling.
I do find that this happens more often on days that I'm physically tired and in pain, so I'm hoping that once I feel better physically I'll also feel better emotionally.
I really identify with the post office story. I actually had an episode on this very website (as wonderful and supportive as it is) that left me leaving in tears.
It's definitely worth while working with your doctor to make sure that your hormones are at the right level, because otherwise it's an extra burden to deal with.
And if that doesn't help, try chocolate.
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